Sex after prostate cancer

This section is for men who are or have dealt with prostate cancer.
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This section is for men who are or have dealt with prostate cancer. MEN ONLY please. Women may use the prostate cancer (wives) forum. To post in this section you will need to subscribe to a group – see viewtopic.php?f=34&t=41250
earp

Sex after prostate cancer

Postby earp » Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:26 am

After 3 years of emotional adjustment I've decided to "get back in the game". I'm impotent but I've discovered I can have an orgasm and my libido is getting stronger thanks to TMB. Viagra was ineffective. My wife is 56 and neither of us had any sex education except for pornography. Finding TMB has truly been a blessing. I'm seeking ideas especially from wives who are 50+ years old for creative lovemaking.

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facetoface
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Postby facetoface » Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:19 pm

Just FYI, you may want to try Levitra and Cialis. They may work just fine for you. Several on this board have found that while one or tow of the big three didn't work for them, another one worked just fine.

thetraveler

Postby thetraveler » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:24 pm

Emotional adjustment for both of you. My hubby had prostate surgery 10 years ago and we went through the same thing. Now, a decade later, things are better than ever, but it was quite a road to reach that goal.

Rather than detailing all that we tried to regain our love life, buy this book: "Making Love Again" by a couple named Laken - I wish we'd read it years ago (but it wasn't published way back when). It will give you many ideas for being the "come back kids" as we call ourselves :-) and the sooner the better.

If you had nerve sparing surgery which did spare the nerves, then Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra might work - it took my husbands nerves 3-4 years to slowly heal. If not, then there are several other options.

One solution is injections which is quite throughly explained in a 2nd book by the same title "Making Love Again" by a wonderful Doctor who specialies in ED. Also worth buying and keeping on your shelf.

Don't give up and do make it a goal to regain your love life. It is totally worth it and can be an exciting adventure for both of you (after so much emotional down time).

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Paul B
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Postby Paul B » Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:48 pm

New studies are finding that men often don't get natural erections after prostate surgery - including not in their sleep. This means the penis is not getting the blood it needs, and the working theory is that this causes permanent damage to the penis and it's ability to become erect. This is why the ED drug may not work. Some preliminary research has shown that artificially creating a couple of daily erections with a vacuum pump starting shortly after surgery may prevent damage, but you are well past this point. That said, a vacuum pump and constriction band will give you an erection. It will make intercourse possible and will also make it easier for your wife to do manual or oral sex on you.

You also need to be aware that your bride may have some limitations if she has gone through menopause completely. Once menopause occurs, the vagina can atrophy if it's not used. There can also be loss of tissue in the vulva, making her more delicate and more easily injured. A lack of lubrication is almost certain. With the use of an artificial lubricant and a slow, careful start, you should be able to work around most of this. Depending on how long since menopause and whether or not she had done anything for herself, achieving intercourse may be difficult to impossible. I'd say that is unlikely at her age, but not impossible.

Beyond that, see this article on the main site. It gives some ideas and a source for a vacuum pump and constriction ring.

Blessings,
Paul

g8rb8

Re: Sex after prostate cancer

Postby g8rb8 » Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:28 pm

earp wrote:After 3 years of emotional adjustment I've decided to "get back in the game". I'm impotent but I've discovered I can have an orgasm and my libido is getting stronger thanks to TMB. Viagra was ineffective. My wife is 56 and neither of us had any sex education except for pornography. Finding TMB has truly been a blessing. I'm seeking ideas especially from wives who are 50+ years old for creative lovemaking.


earp,

Blessings brother. Making the decision to get "back in the game" is a big brave move. I just had PC surgery in February and have had some encouraging results so far, but I'll echo what Paul says about the pump. My dr 'prescribed' one for me, and even tho insurance refused to cover it (God bless their penny-pinching hearts), we got one and I've used it pretty regularly since. Get one and use it. Getting used to producing an erection with this device can seem a little silly or like an interruption at first. But it can be part of the foreplay, too.... it's just a new way of geting to that point than we're used to. Even with the nerve sparing surgery, nocturnal erections aren't happening for me w/o being dosed with Viagra. Dr keeps telling me that the healing process is 2-3 years long with gradual improvements along the way.

Not on topic, but I hope that you missed out on the other nasty side effect of the procedure. PC surgery can really be demoralizing, but we're still here!

Praying for blessings on you and your DW as you move on and keep learning.... (and I'm waiting to see other W responses to this topic, too.)


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