Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Low testosterone issues, impacts on health & marriage, treatments, etc.
SrAirmanswife13
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Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SrAirmanswife13 » Thu Mar 05, 2015 2:48 pm

Guys who have, or who have had, low T!! I've got questions!
Is it typical for low-T to cause you to have an aversion to anything sexual? How can a wife ask for intimacy that doesn't have to involve PIV without insulting your abilities? Why does low-T make you un-affectionate? Leah is going to link my story to this thread, as our problems have been around for a while. We finally found out what the real problem is... now, to fix things.

He started androgel almost 3 weeks ago. It will be 3 weeks on Saturday. And absolutely no change. The doctor doesn't have him scheduled to come back in until May. That seems like a long time to me...

Link to backstory here.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby ledgemoor » Thu Mar 05, 2015 7:37 pm

Hi--

Thanks for keeping us up to date.

Is it typical for low-T to cause you to have an aversion to anything sexual?
For me, no. I got low testosterone later in life, and while I largely lost interest in sex, I wasn't adverse to trying, and I did need release occasionally -- but usually had to masturbate to get to happen as I couldn't stay hard enough to keep it in for intercourse. I was raised in a fairly sex-positive environment. If he had low testosterone his whole life, and got bad teachings on sex, I could see that happening.

It took me a month on injections to see any improvement. I understand that gel is faster (never tried it or studied it -- just remember hearing that -- someone else will comment), but I would give it a little more time. It is a long-term problem that won't be fixed quickly unfortunately. For sure if he hasn't improved by May, further action is needed. It's possible that he doesn't absorb the Androgel well. Weekly injections will work better in any case. More convenient too.
Last edited by ledgemoor on Fri Mar 06, 2015 5:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SquarePants » Thu Mar 05, 2015 7:52 pm

Every man is different. The initial symptoms aren't the same for every man. My libido never dropped when my testosterone was low. I was extremely tired, couldn’t think clearly, and was emotionally fragile. However, my libido was always strong. It may have killed my libido if it had gone much lower.

Many men do very well will gels. They offer stable testosterone levels and they don’t require injections. I didn’t do well with the gel. I started with a 2-pump/day dose and I felt worse. My doctor increased the dose to 4 pumps/day and I felt even worse. The testosterone levels measured in my bloodwork confirmed that my levels had dropped. Apparently, it shut down my own production faster than I absorbed it. I seem to recall someone here writing that he had a similar experience, and that he got positive results with six pumps a day. I had small children and was concerned about accidentally exposing them, and six pumps/day gets expensive. I’ve had great results with subcutaneous injections.

Maybe you can ask for a sooner followup if he doesn't get positive results in a couple more weeks.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby sexymom » Wed Mar 11, 2015 3:17 am

Gels were not effective for my DH, and he had to switch to injections. We were told some men just don't absorb the gels well. We were also told it *could* be because he's excessively hairy. ;)

Just something to keep in mind in case you continue to not see changes.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SrAirmanswife13 » Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:19 am

I thought I might be seeing some good change at the end of last week. Friday I noticed he had a look in his eyes that wasn't normally there and that he looked at me much more than usual. Then that evening he said something that actually made me blush for the first time in two years. That night we ML and it was slightly more passionate than usual. The feeling seemed to linger for the weekend but went away once the work week started.

I texted his doctor, I've known her literally her entire life, and she reminded me to be patient. I'm certainly trying.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby Dale » Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:16 pm

What were his numbers, and how much Androgel is he on? If it's not enough, he's going to take longer to get better, but if he gets too much that's not good either! I'm on 6 pumps a day and it has worked wonders for me! But I started at a much lower dose, which helped, but it wasn't enough to get to my optimal levels. 6 pumps is just right. If I go to 7 or 8--my prescription is actually written for 8--I get jittery and hyper and irritable.

Dale

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SrAirmanswife13 » Wed Mar 25, 2015 1:54 pm

I can't seem to locate the paperwork with his numbers on it. It seems like I would have them memorized by now but I'm a full time student so I have a lot rolling around in my brain these days. He's on two pumps per day. He's been on it for five weeks now with no real change. I'm anxious to see what his actual numbers are doing but I have to wait a few more weeks. It's still a very touchy subject so we don't talk about it. And our frequency has fallen to about once a week since I've completely stopped doing anything that can be taken as initiating. And I'm not bringing the subject up again until his T numbers are normal so he doesn't have that excuse for treating LM as purely a biological function. I'm tired of this. That's why I really wanted a man to tell me..."yeah, low T will make you stop kissing, talking, touching... when you do want to ML, it's straight to the point and be done with it... that's perfectly normal" because it's hard, and upsetting, thinking that he doesn't do those things because he's unwilling to, as opposed to being unable to.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby fourgirlsdad » Wed Mar 25, 2015 2:24 pm

SAwife, i have been taking shots and supplements for five weeks now. I had a low reading (246 when normal is above 350). My free T was 4.2 when normal should be 25. While my interest is strong, my erections are sometimes not there for PiV, and at best weak. I was told it would take some time to get to normal. Be patient. This problem came on slowly, and it will solve eventually.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SrAirmanswife13 » Tue Mar 31, 2015 7:14 am

250. That's his current number (or at last check 6 weeks ago). There has been no change. Last night, out of the blue he said he wants to call the doctor and move his appointment up because he's very frustrated. Then, for the first time, we started doing some reading together about his meds and how long before we should see some improvement and something I hadn't thought of before caught my attention. Some men say their skin doesn't absorb the Androgel well. My hubby has never had a sunburn, ever. And a while back we were talking with my teen kids and joking around about someone getting a hickey that they go to school with and my hubby told me it's physically impossible for him to get one. Don't know how relevant this is but he's right, I deliberately tried to give him one after that, tried hard. And he just can't get one. There's obviously something different about his skin...thicker maybe? He's calling the doc today.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby C_Brown » Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:15 pm

When I was low (and I was very low) I still desired my wife, I just wasn't able to perform well. Could there be some emotional distance, feelings of hurt, insecurity, fear, guilt etc. can all kill libido no matter what a guy's T level is. Perhaps he is afraid it won't work, which can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps reassure him, make him understand that you are in love with HIM, not his erection.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SrAirmanswife13 » Sun Apr 19, 2015 6:54 pm

Oh, I've got that covered. I practically worship this man. (practically)

Update. Two weeks ago he said he was frustrated that he wasn't feeling any different and made an earlier appointment. It was great that he did that without any prompting from me. At his appointment they discussed how well the gel was (or wasn't) absorbing and determined that he wasn't absorbing it. So they decided to start applying it to his inner thighs instead. He was astonished at how much faster it dried. He felt a bit better after a few days. That lasted a few days. And a few days ago, he basically crashed. He's been soooo very crabby, irritable, impatient, short tempered... and everyone around us has noticed it. My mom, my brother, my daughter, my son, and my niece have all made comments and asked what's going on with him. I've read that this sometimes happens because the small amount of hormone his body was naturally making has been halted because of the introduction of the replacement stuff. So, in a way, this is good news because it's doing something. But, I'm worried. Should I insist he go back to the doctor and get his numbers checked? I anticipate being snapped at because he's just in that kind of mood. Or will this even itself out, or what? I'm praying hard that this phase is short-lived because he's miserable and making everyone around him feel it too. Yesterday morning he had me in tears because out of the blue he said he didn't think the kids deserved to go on vacation this summer because they do teenager stuff like rolling their eyes and forgetting to tell us where they're going to be. We've had our trip planned for a month, hotel reserved, everyone is excited about it. It was not a pleasant conversation.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SquarePants » Mon Apr 20, 2015 6:39 am

It's hard to say. If it's really intolerable, then it may be worth giving the office a call.

As I mentioned earlier, gels did not work well for me. I did not got through a transitory unpleasant phase that went away. I MAY have experienced a temporary mild improvement at first (like your husband did), but I'm not sure. I do remember that once I noticed that I was feeling worse, it didn't get better. Lab test confirmed that my total testosterone levels actually dropped after beginning the gel.

I'm reluctant to say that your husband's experience will be the same as mine. I don't know. Are injections an option for him? He'd know exactly how much testosterone he's absorbing.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby Randy52 » Mon Apr 20, 2015 7:57 am

Androgel obviously doesn't work for everyone. My own experience with it....... After 2 months and 4 bottles, my T level remained the exact same but my PSA went up half a point. What has worked best for me are T "pellets" . These are about the size of a Tic-Tac, and are inserted in a small incision in the buttocks. The process takes less than 15 minutes and lasts for 3 to 4 months.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby ledgemoor » Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:15 pm

Yeah, why isn't he on injections?

And a few days ago, he basically crashed. He's been soooo very crabby, irritable, impatient, short tempered... and everyone around us has noticed it.

Getting TOO MUCH possibly? A mild case of 'roid rage perhaps.

I'd give it another week or two and if it isn't improving, I'd get it checked. In addition to Testosterone levels, FSH would indicate whether his natural production has shut down or not.
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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby Unfulfilled » Mon Apr 20, 2015 3:12 pm

Is androgel bioidentical testosteeone or is it synthetic?

If not I would look into bioidentical testosteeone. There are far less side effects with bioidentical in comparison to synthetic. At least that is true for female sex hormones. I don't know why similar effects would not be true fro testosterone in men.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby ledgemoor » Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:38 am

It is bioidentical. All forms of testosterone given to men are essentially bioidentical.

Here is a great article explaining it all:
http://www.ftmguide.org/bioidenticalt.html

We only give non-bioidentical hormones to women (Premarin) & also the progesterone in Prempro I think.
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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SrAirmanswife13 » Mon May 11, 2015 12:59 pm

It's been 12 weeks and there's no change in his libido. His grouchy-ness level has come back down, thank goodness! Over the weekend I was feeling bold and asked him straight out "what do I have to do to get you to kiss me or talk to me when we ml?" He was surprised by the question. He said "what am I supposed to say?"
I said "just talk to me! I just want to connect with you." That's what bothers me the most about all this. (And yes! His health is the most important thing, obviously) It's how disconnected he is. When we're together he goes off into his own little world. Trying to figure him out is getting exhausting.
As far as his T numbers... I have no clue where they are. The doctor put in the order to have it checked again, like two weeks ago, and he's been so busy he won't take the time to go get it checked...

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby SrAirmanswife13 » Thu May 21, 2015 10:32 am

13 weeks into treatment. He had his t-levels checked. No change whatsoever. The doctor increased his Androgel, doubled it.

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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby ledgemoor » Thu May 21, 2015 6:00 pm

Time to try injections. I'll bet the androjel stopped getting absorbed. I've heard others complain of that.
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Re: Complicated! On the right track, finally.

Postby smokejumper » Thu May 28, 2015 4:57 pm

I was on androgel for a while, but it was a pain to do and I had kids. After switching insurance companies I went to injections. When I started injections I had been off of andogel for about a year (ins issues) and my levels checked and I was at about 150 T level (36yo). I followed the doctor's protocol of 1.5ml every other week and my levels went up about 400. I was frustrated my numbers were not higher so I found a urologist who percribed T. He put me on a subQ injection 2x per week of .5 mls per shot. So 200mg of Testosterone Cypionate per week. After 3 months my numbers went from 300 to 950(high normal). My sex drive went out of this world, I wanted sex all the time (wife doesnt different story). I love it. My body fat had decreased, strength up, libido way up. He would love it. Do some research about finding a good doc. Call compounding pharmacy to see who prescribes testosterone.


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