advice for wife of low t husband

Low testosterone issues, impacts on health & marriage, treatments, etc.
Wildflowerinjune
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advice for wife of low t husband

Postby Wildflowerinjune » Sat Oct 03, 2015 1:40 pm

Our marriage is and always has been "complicated". I won't write the book it would take to explain it all but, I've realized a lot of things about myself as a person and wife this year and made a lot of changes with the Lord's help. Husband, whom I adore, seems more connected, sex life resumed seven months ago and has been active although he has usual symptoms associated with low t, which he has.
His urologist didn't seem to think he needed replacement based on the labs of a year and half ago showing him at a 10 (bottom of normal being 9) but when his new lab came back he called in androgel. Husband doesn't want to take it. Doesn't want to talk about it or anything else that happens in our marriage. And seems totally unconcerned that our sex life could be way better. It's almost like he doesn't even remember what he should feel like. He's grumpy, doesn't sleep well at night, his thinking is foggy, some difficulty keeping an erection, low semon volume, delayed ejaculation, and the one that is like a knife in my chest; no desire for sex. Up till lately we were having it every other day or so at mostly my initiation but over the last two weeks only twice. Nothing for nine days, he seems angry if I ask. Crossing him is always punished with some variety of pulling away from me so I cry alone, a lot.
I am so hurt that our physical relationship seems to mean nothing to him.
Any advice?

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Dale
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Re: advice for wife of low t husband

Postby Dale » Sat Oct 03, 2015 3:54 pm

Has your husband said why he won't start the Androgel?

The problem with low t is that the man often thinks there is no problem and thinks he would be less of a man if he started on replacement therapy. They don't realize how much better they would feel. It's a frustrating cycle that is easy to get caught up in.

If you peruse this section, you will find many testimonials from guys about how much better they are doing on replacement. Maybe printing out a few of them and showing your husband that he is not alone would be a good first step.

Dale

Wildflowerinjune
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Re: advice for wife of low t husband

Postby Wildflowerinjune » Sat Oct 03, 2015 6:21 pm

He doesn't like to take medication of any kind and generally I agree with him. He keeps mentioning the ads for class action lawsuits over testosterone replacement. Also the urologist told him that adding testosterone causes the prostate to grow, increasing his is of cancer and also that he was more at risk for a heart attack.
Our problem is seriously compounded by an almost complete lack of communication regarding anything of any real importance like relationship stuff, feelings .

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SquarePants
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Re: advice for wife of low t husband

Postby SquarePants » Sun Oct 04, 2015 6:46 pm

Testosterone treatment does NOT increase prostate cancer rates:

No link found between testosterone replacement therapy, prostate cancer risk

Destroying the Myth About Testosterone Replacement and Prostate Cancer

High levels of estrogen in men may be bad for prostate enlargement, and it is true that testosterone replacement therapy can raise estrogen levels. However, any doctor that is knowledgeable in testosterone therapy will be monitoring estrogen levels during therapy. It’s a simple blood test. It’s also very simple to treat with a low dose of a drug called Arimidex. or even with some non-prescription zinc supplements for mildly elevated estrogen.

A responsible doctor should also be monitoring red blood count levels. Some men will have elevated levels which can increase risks of blood clot related heart attack or stroke. This is monitored a simple RBC blood test. If levels start to go high, then he can either lower his testosterone dose or occasionally donate blood.

There doesn't seem to be much risk when treated by a doctor who is knowledgeable about testosterone replacement therapy.

Wildflowerinjune
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Re: advice for wife of low t husband

Postby Wildflowerinjune » Mon Nov 16, 2015 12:03 pm

He is feeling a lot better on the androgel. I'm so happy for him and us. After six weeks I'm starting to see improvement in mood. He seems happier and that makes me happy because he's my love. Thank you both for your input and I saw a mention on another post about a link to a list of HRT doctors. He is currently prescribed by his urologist who was reluctant to prescribe and cited cancer and heart disease as risks while leaving off all the problems low t causes. He didn't seem to care about the diminished libido or quality of erections and just chalked it up to getting older. So, we may in the future need a doctor who actually believes in what we're trying to do here and would work on fine tuning things if needed.

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happilymarriedkate
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Re: advice for wife of low t husband

Postby happilymarriedkate » Tue Nov 17, 2015 6:58 pm

The HRT Dr. did not have to be convinced. She saw 217 and wrote the script out quickly. The primary care physician was not that quick. Thankfully we did not stick with him. Currently we are going through pre authorization headaches for the Androgel with insurance, so DH had not been able to start it yet. Hopefully he will have the same success as your husband!
~HM Kate

spiritfire777
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Re: advice for wife of low t husband

Postby spiritfire777 » Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:23 am

you can go to the andro gel website and get a card to make the payments lower..


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