Officially Low T

Low testosterone issues, impacts on health & marriage, treatments, etc.
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happilymarriedkate
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Officially Low T

Postby happilymarriedkate » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:21 pm

This is a continuation of my other thread "should I talk to my DH about the quality of his erection?" It's been a long road with a very stubborn DH. He finally met with a HRT Dr. who, based on a 217 T level (he is 44 y/I), has diagnosed him with low testosterone. DH is not very happy with the diagnosis. He has been in serious denial for a year now. The doctor has prescribed Androgel. Any thoughts/ advice about this? I am actually very thrilled that at least he will be starting something resembling resolution of this issue.
~HM Kate

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby seeking perspective » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:35 pm

Is it weird that I want to offer you congratulations? :)

After his T levels increase and your husband is reminded of what he's been missing, he may be very thankful that you pushed him on this.
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
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Re: Officially Low T

Postby happilymarriedkate » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:00 pm

Thanks for the encouragement SP. I sent him a text that said "I love you," to which he responded " Love u. Please know I am not doing well and I don't want to talk." I guess I should give him space... But I am struggling with not saying "dude, this isn't cancer...it's low testosterone!" I have decided, however, that it is best to hold my tongue on that sentiment. I am now fearing resentment, on his part, towards me.
~HM Kate

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby Ballad » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:10 pm

How does the saying go? "It's easier to forgive someone for being wrong than for being right"?
And what is the future, happy one?
'A sea beneath a cloudless sun;
A mighty, glorious, dazzling sea
Stretching into infinity.’

--Emily Brontë

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby seeking perspective » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:14 pm

Give him space to work through it. You're right that compared to cancer, low T is a walk in the park--but if he is feeling like less of a man because of it (one of the things my husband mentioned when I first asked him about it) or that it is a sign of being middle aged and in decline, he may have some grieving to do. Once you notice an improvement in erection quality, wait another week or two and then ask him if he's ready to talk.
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
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Re: Officially Low T

Postby mom210 » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:30 pm

I think that some men feel very emasculated when they find out that they have low t... they shouldn't, but they do.. I think it stems from the fact that society in general plays into the " more testosterone- more of a man " idea.. which is totally not true... anymore than women are less feminine after menopause.

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby SquarePants » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:25 pm

Keep in mind that low testosterone affects a man mentally and emotionally as well. If his levels are 217, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s fighting off depression. He may see things more clearly and logical once his levels begin to rise.

I’m on testosterone therapy as well and I think it wonderful. As I see it, it’s simply like a diabetic who takes insulin.
Last edited by SquarePants on Wed Nov 11, 2015 8:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby mom210 » Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:32 pm

So true, squarepants.... dh suffered greatly from depression when his T level was at 180.. but now that he has been on TRT for the last 10 years everything about him feels better. :)

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby happilymarriedkate » Tue Nov 10, 2015 9:47 pm

Square pants- as a matter of fact, he is. She also suggested an anti-depressant. He talked to me about it a few minutes ago. He said he does not like that something is going wrong in his body. Besides a gall bladder surgery 6 years ago, DH has never had health concerns.
~HM Kate

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby tentsofpurple » Wed Nov 11, 2015 2:13 pm

My dh had levels of 340-410 at 30 and he struggled with similar feelings including depression and denial that anything was wrong (compounded by the fact that the first 4 doctors I dragged him to said he was fine) but after finally finding a doctor would would treat him and receiving treatment (I give him an injection once a week) he was a different man and thanked me for not giving up and continuing to push him to get help. He said he felt like he was "in a fog" and didn't realize how bad it was until he felt better.

He's still not thrilled that something is "wrong" with him and that he needs medication to feel normal (he's the type that even hates taking an allergy pill) but that is far outweighed by him actually feeling better.

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby mom210 » Wed Nov 11, 2015 2:26 pm

happilymarriedkate wrote:Square pants- as a matter of fact, he is. She also suggested an anti-depressant. He talked to me about it a few minutes ago. He said he does not like that something is going wrong in his body. Besides a gall bladder surgery 6 years ago, DH has never had health concerns.

Well, no one like to have a health issue... but for most people , that happens as we age... some earlier than others.
Thankfully , we have medicines that can help with both low t and depression.

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby Learning1 » Wed Nov 11, 2015 5:24 pm

Hi HMK,

Your DH may not be happy with the diagnosis, but at least you have a very treatable diagnosis that seems to be a natural part of the aging process.

How did the weight loss pills/weight loss plan progress ?
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Re: Officially Low T

Postby ledgemoor » Wed Nov 11, 2015 5:45 pm

Yeah, however you want to look at it, there is no getting around the fact that he is now getting his manhood out of a bottle. A little grieving is in order.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby happilymarriedkate » Wed Nov 11, 2015 6:28 pm

Learning1- she is letting him stay on it for a little while longer. He says he does feel better. Obviously, however, the weight loss did not help his t level. I personally think that once his T levels increase he will lose weight more naturally and feel better. I am not arguing about the phentermine as long as he is willing to try the Androgel.

Ledgemoor- thank you for your perspective. I am kind of matter of fact when it comes to issues like this. I certainly do not have that perspective and I am sad that he does. But, hopefully, he will adjust. Also- I have you to thank for this. I believe you were the one who suggested the website of HRT docs in our area that led us to this Dr!!
~HM Kate

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby Wildflowerinjune » Mon Nov 16, 2015 11:47 am

My husband had been on androgel for six weeks. His erections ,which were somewhat diminished, improved right away. I would say he's almost back to what he was in his thirties including morning erections. It seems that the improvement in mood is coming along more slowly. He seems more like his old sweet self every day. Maybe you're husband will see these same improvements. We have each decided not to take anti depressant medication. We have concerns that they are not tested properly and affect your brain in a pregnant way causing a need to keep taking them. We all go through times were we feel depressed, it is a natural part of life. I don't want to get stuck in a cycle of needing these medications for life.

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby happilymarriedkate » Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:09 am

Well, the Androgel was FINALLY approved by insurance!! We have a coupon for several months but MAN it is pricey! Wasn't expecting that... But for now...so glad we are moving on to the next step! BTW- his DHEA is low as well. Anyone with info re: that? He is taking a OTC supplement for it.
~HM Kate

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby yard1 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:51 am

I use a sensitive scale that weighs in tenth of a gram to weigh the first and last doses of the container saving about a day's worth on each bottle. Wth the high price of androgel even after insurance, it soon pays for the price of the scale. After that, the savings are signifigant.

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby Nvr2Late » Fri Nov 20, 2015 12:15 pm

HMKate,
my husband's doctor has him on 50mg daily of DHEA. I think that's a pretty standard dose for men. By contrast, I only take 5 mg a day. OTC is fine, but stick with better brands. There's a lot of stuff going around these days about adulterated and non-active ingredient containing supplements.
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Re: Officially Low T

Postby Unfulfilled » Sat Nov 21, 2015 5:31 am

DHEA is the building block pre cursor to testosterone and other hormones.

If this is the case, you MAY want to consider supplementing with DHEA for a while and MAYBE your DH testosterone will rise on its own, and possibly the androgel will not be needed or the dose be lower. Maybe it is worth a try at least or something to discuss with your Dr.

Just a thought.

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Re: Officially Low T

Postby txtwindad » Sat Nov 21, 2015 7:42 am

Just a comment about androgel. I know several people on the board use it and it works for them. But, it is insanely expensive and no more effective than injections. Maybe your insurance covers the cost, but someone is paying. When you add in the risk of cross contamination with women or children in the family, it makes no sense to me for most people. But the doctor likely has a sales rep coming around weekly pushing his product.
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