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Pre mature ejaculation

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YScreative
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Pre mature ejaculation

Post by YScreative »

Me and my fiancé are 26 days away from our wedding night. One of my fears as a guy, is pre mature ejactulation or having an orgasm way too early in sex. What is some advice to pace myself during sex?
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newwifenewlife
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by newwifenewlife »

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!


Here's a few thoughts...
- Relax
- enjoy the moments of giving and receiving
- if you "pop" earlier than you want to, laugh and, assuming you're young, know that your refractory period probably won't be very long
- make the goal having fun and learning and exploring each other's bodies, not PIV and how long you can last
- just because you're done, doesn't mean she is, make sure your DW is satisfied; IOW, don't be a selfish lover.
- Remember, your best sex as a couple will be years down the road as you grow in your emotional bonding and personal growth, and sexual understanding of each other and grow and flow with the changes to come.

Have you discussed, agreed to and set up "sexpectations" for your honeymoon? For your wedding night? Are they realistic? Did you both work on them?

The two of you should check out the SEXY MARRIAGE RADIO podcast. GREAT STUFF and could lead to some great discussions and you grow in your marriage and marriage bed. They have some thoughts on this including at an old episode (#130) WEDDING NIGHT TIPS FOR VIRGINS.
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hastentheday
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by hastentheday »

YScreative wrote: Mon Mar 22, 2021 9:19 am Me and my fiancé are 26 days away from our wedding night. One of my fears as a guy, is pre mature ejaculations or having an orgasm way too early in sex. What is some advice to pace myself during sex?
Welcome to TMB! And, congratulations on your impending marriage. I hope and pray you and your fiancé can remain pure until then. I know you want the perfect wedding night (who doesn't?) and you are wise to think about this and to plan and to ask for advice. However, remember this is just one night and you have your WHOLE life of marriage to explore each other, to get to know each other in all ways including sexually. I think very few first honeymoon nights end up in mutual explosions. I'm wondering if you can ease your anxiousness around this by fully concentrating on your bride's pleasure and experience especially early on. Just taking your mind off yourself might help. That's my 2 cents....
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
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PaulB
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by PaulB »

YScreative wrote: Mon Mar 22, 2021 9:19 am Me and my fiancé are 26 days away from our wedding night. One of my fears as a guy, is pre mature ejactulation or having an orgasm way too early in sex. What is some advice to pace myself during sex?
First, realise that you are almost certainly going to climax quickly the first time. That's not premature, it's just a normal reaction to something new and wonderful.

Second, being fast at first is not a bad thing. Your new wife needs to get used to intercourse, which will be uncomfortable or even painful if she's a virgin.

Third, some women can't orgasm from intercourse, and those who do may take a while to learn how. Be all about giving her as much pleasure as she wants in other ways.

Forth, PE is a genetic condition and you either have it or you don't. The odds are in your favour for not having it. If you do, you and your bride can learn to deal with it.

And finally, you have our prayers, and we are here for you as needed in the future.
Happily married for 36 years and living the good life near two of our grandsons!

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The Generous HusbandThe XY Code
David
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by David »

Remember that if you have sex on your wedding night, it comes at the end of your wedding day. It will have been a long, busy day and you'll both be tired at the end of it. Assuming you've not previously had sex (either with each other or with anyone else) then you'll both be nervous and this will be your first attempt at learning a new skill.
Her vagina will be tight as the muscles need to stretch in order to accommodate an erect penis, so sex might be uncomfortable or even painful the first few times. Make sure to have some lubricant available and go slowly.

Your first time will be special, but it won't be the best sex you ever have. Use your honeymoon to learn how to have sex.
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by Ron »

All of the above is great advice! Yes, just enjoy the day, you have many years ahead to learn and pleasure each other. As far as PE on wedding nights, I think that is pretty common for men. My first time I probably lasted 15 seconds, it took a few times, but it gets better. You can pleasure her in other ways too, not just an erection.
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PaulB
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by PaulB »

David wrote: Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:38 am Remember that if you have sex on your wedding night, it comes at the end of your wedding day. It will have been a long, busy day and you'll both be tired at the end of it. Assuming you've not previously had sex (either with each other or with anyone else) then you'll both be nervous and this will be your first attempt at learning a new skill.
Her vagina will be tight as the muscles need to stretch in order to accommodate an erect penis, so sex might be uncomfortable or even painful the first few times. Make sure to have some lubricant available and go slowly.

Your first time will be special, but it won't be the best sex you ever have. Use your honeymoon to learn how to have sex.
David makes some great points.

I strongly suggest an early wedding and done with the reception by mid-afternoon. Way too late for that now.

Might be good to have a discussion about sex the first night. Doing nothing is a good way to ensure the groom doesn't get much sleep, but intercourse is probably better delayed till the next day at least. If your both virgins, spending a few days learning about sex together before you go "all the way" is a wise choice.
Happily married for 36 years and living the good life near two of our grandsons!

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Irnmyk
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by Irnmyk »

"Doing nothing is a good way to ensure the groom doesn't get much sleep, but intercourse is probably better delayed till the next day at least. If your both virgins, spending a few days learning about sex together before you go "all the way" is a wise choice."

What..... like wild horses would have gotten me to wait one second longer after being chaste all those years????

We all muddled through this to one degree or the other (our wedding night, or the first time for those who didn't wait), and I think that most of us survived it.

The one thing that we did not do, however, that I think is excellent advice is the first sentence of the paragraph that I quoted, but left off, is "Might be good to have a discussion about sex the first night." Starting good, honest, open, frank conversation about sex can't happen soon enough.
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newwifenewlife
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by newwifenewlife »

I will also add there's another episode of SMR podcast #190 that also talks about the wedding night tips.

Also, the following link my bring up some thoughts for discussion. Some of the questions may be geared towards couples already engaging in sex BUT I think it's worth sharing so you can have some discussions about sexpectations. It may lead you down a path that you need to do some more research and further discussions. I'll add that some things have developed in our marriage bed as we have discussed and grown closer. The best thing you can do for your marriage AND marriage bed is develop great communication, acceptance, grace & truth, and a place of safety to process and grow individually and as a couple...because does those things creates intimacy.

Our Intimate Choices (SMRNation Resource)

This is actually a smaller resource developed from a larger document from thepuerbed.com and their COMMUNICATIONS TOOLBOX.
Tanner
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Re: Pre mature ejaculation

Post by Tanner »

Kegel exercises are a definite benefit. MB to the PONR (point of no return) using kegels is a good way to learn and practice in advance.
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