Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

What limits should we set before marriage?
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CandC320
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Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby CandC320 » Mon Mar 10, 2014 10:20 am

'19 Kids and Counting' stars: We won't kiss until marriage"

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/20 ... p=features

DH

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby Brownman248 » Mon Mar 10, 2014 10:25 am

That's what I'm doing... Doing to honor God


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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby HisWarrior » Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:20 pm

Many couples have done this. Some even refuse to kiss at the alter and waut until in private to share that first lss. I know others who don't until engaged.

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby C_Brown » Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:33 pm

Nope, sorry, that is going too far and I doubt it fosters a healthy view of sexuality or their bodies.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby Mission » Mon Mar 10, 2014 5:00 pm

C_Brown wrote:Nope, sorry, that is going too far and I doubt it fosters a healthy view of sexuality or their bodies.

My wife and I have no regret in waiting until the altar for our first kiss. And we seem to be dealing with an extremely healthy view of sexuality. :mrgreen:

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby BusyDad » Mon Mar 10, 2014 5:11 pm

C_Brown wrote:Nope, sorry, that is going too far and I doubt it fosters a healthy view of sexuality or their bodies.

Because ....

On what basis so you condemn this?

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby poetess » Mon Mar 10, 2014 5:21 pm

Is it "going too far" or is it a personal choice that not everyone will choose to make?

When I hear "waiting for our first kiss," I always wonder what exactly they mean, though. Are they waiting for any kiss at all (even a kiss on the forehead)? a kiss on the lips? a passionate kiss?

My husband and I both thought it wise to wait for a passionate kiss or any other foreplay. But we didn't wait till we married for "our first kiss."

I personally had no interest in waiting for any and all touch (I've known some people to make that choice . . . or, rather, to make that choice for their children when they didn't make it for themselves, which is quite a different thing!), but I think that's a legitimate choice if both partners are in agreement, if they recognize it isn't a matter that "it would be sin for us to touch at all," and if they have strong libidos and aren't looking for an excuse to postpone anything. If they truly think it's wise for them to do that to keep passions in check, then by all means do so. It isn't sinful. And it's surely better than indulging in sin. I'd recommend that couples not make that particular line in the sand, and I'd strongly recommend that parents not make it for their children of marrying age, but it's certainly within the realm of acceptable choices people can make. (I would be inclined to caution the couple to be sure neither of them is hiding a low libido or even same-sex attraction. If that isn't the issue and if they are making the choice freely, then it's their choice to make.)

However, teenagers writing books about what their parents believe is just silly. Let the parents write their own books, and let the kids write their books based on their own life experiences when they're old enough to have something worth saying.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

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Re: Waiting for wedding for

Postby jokerman » Mon Mar 10, 2014 5:29 pm

BusyDad wrote:
C_Brown wrote:Nope, sorry, that is going too far and I doubt it fosters a healthy view of sexuality or their bodies.

Because ....

On what basis so you condemn this?


It's a message board, and people don't have to agree on things.

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby Leah » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:39 pm

Our daughter waited. She's expecting her fourth child if that tells you anything.
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Re: Waiting for wedding for

Postby PS56 » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:47 pm

jokerman wrote:It's a message board, and people don't have to agree on things.


I disagree. :lol:

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Re: Waiting for wedding for

Postby txtwindad » Mon Mar 10, 2014 7:38 pm

PS56 wrote:
jokerman wrote:It's a message board, and people don't have to agree on things.


I disagree. :lol:


I agree with PS56. :wink:
 "Baby, Baby go and fetch some water,
Pour it on me so's I don't melt.
Can't you see you've got me burnin' hotter
Than a black vinyl car seat in ..." Two Tons of Steel

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Re: Waiting for wedding for

Postby C_Brown » Mon Mar 10, 2014 8:34 pm

BusyDad wrote:
C_Brown wrote:Nope, sorry, that is going too far and I doubt it fosters a healthy view of sexuality or their bodies.

Because ....

On what basis so you condemn this?


Well for starters there is no sin in a dating couple kissing, but this kind of sends a message that it is a sin of some kind to kiss before marriage. I don`t think a couple should move into kissing casually, but if a relationship is serious there should be a more serous form of affection shown. Kissing shows a commitment to a relationship and a willingness to show physical affection. I see no upside to not kissing when a relationship becomes serious.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby sue244 » Mon Mar 10, 2014 10:35 pm

My fiancé and I are waiting for our first kiss to be at the alter, next week!!!!

Just because we haven't kissed doesn't mean we have not been able to show affection for each other, but I we are both very much looking forward to our wedding night when we will be able to unwrap all of the gift of sex at once.

Couples should be free to do what works for them as long as they aren't sinning. And no one should look down on their choices just because it is different from their choice.

I do not think kissing before marriage is wrong, or sinful but it was not something I ever wanted to do. My fiancé is the same way because he wanted to respect the future husbands of any girl he was dealing with. And I wanted to save everything for my husband.

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby Dgenerous » Mon Mar 10, 2014 11:31 pm

I think it would have been a good idea for us. I didn't even consider it when we were dating. We will be sure to present it as an option for our kids. I would NOT want my first kiss to be in front of 300 people, so there would have to be some kind of other arrangement. I was nervous enough on my wedding day.
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Re: Waiting for wedding for

Postby Stumoo » Tue Mar 11, 2014 1:44 am

My fiancée and I had a long road even to begin dating; had known each other for several years and, cutting a long story short, we had to postpone dating for a while as she had made a vow to be single for 12 months at the worst time (well, best time, since God knows what he's doing).

Anyway, having waited so long to even be more than just friends, I kissed her on the first date :lol: Neither of us regrets this, at least not yet, as kissing bonds us closely and we know it's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of intimate pleasure.

For those who waited even for a kiss, you are obviously doing nothing wrong. In fact, I know FW and I potentially could sin because of our kissing, but our resolve and self-control is strong and the wedding is now less than 2 months away. Were this not the case I would consider a kissing moratorium!

Saving kissing can be good, but as always don't look to outward appearances but examine your heart; make sure the decision is made to honour God, and not due to pressure from others or a prideful desire to be 'holier-than-thou'. Obviously these arguments don't extend to sexual contact before marriage :wink:

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Re: Waiting for wedding for

Postby klk570 » Tue Mar 11, 2014 2:09 pm

Stumoo wrote:
Saving kissing can be good, but as always don't look to outward appearances but examine your heart; make sure the decision is made to honour God, and not due to pressure from others or a prideful desire to be 'holier-than-thou'. Obviously these arguments don't extend to sexual contact before marriage :wink:




Exactly as said above. I have no problem with people wanting to wait, but to often these days in an effort to remove ourselves from our over-sexed culture, people go to the other extreme. There is an unspoken degree of holy-ness assigned to these things by certain people, it's a little disturbing and quite legalistic. I like the Duggers, but why exactly do they go public with what their boundaries are? If Jessa had decided that they were going to kiss, do you think they would have made a big press release out of that? I'm guessing not. There are things the bible says should be avoided before marriage, kissing is not one of them.

You want to kiss, fine, if you don't that's fine to, but whatever your decision it should be between you and your future spouse. It should not be paraded around like some badge of honor and used to hold over others head, and even though that may not be the Duggers intention that's how it comes across.

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby HisWarrior » Wed Mar 12, 2014 5:41 am

I think the Duggars made it a public statement to avoid a possible rumor mill. People get wind of Jessa's beau, and lips start flying to discredit her Christian morals. Happens all the time! So, in making a public statement about their beliefs helps keep lying scandal at bay. I've never felt the Duggars held anything above anyone's head.

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby jokerman » Wed Mar 12, 2014 5:56 am

Actually, their kissing policy was detailed in the book that the family wrote. And then this news source made a story out of it. I doubt paparazi are stalking the Duggars waiting for an illicit kiss to happen.

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby nick421 » Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:09 am

I cannot fathom why anyone would want to wait until they are married to kiss. I grew up around some folks like this, did not understand it then, and do not understand it now. But to each his or her own...

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Re: Waiting for wedding for "first kiss"...

Postby poetess » Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:41 am

Nick, as I said above, I never know what people mean when they say they waited till marriage to kiss.

We didn't wait till marriage to kiss at all, but we did wait for passionate kissing. I can't really speak for my husband on "why" exactly, but for me there were basically two reasons: one, I know a lot of people who have gotten engaged and haven't gotten married, and I did want my husband to be the first person I kissed. Two, I told my husband when we were beginning to get serious that I had heard that passionate kissing gets the engines revved and I wanted to hold off on it till our wedding day. He agreed with that reasoning. Whether he would personally have chosen to wait till the wedding day (or whether he did so with his first marriage, to his late wife), I don't know. But he agreed without hesitation that it was wise, and I knew he understood sexual touch at a deeper level than I did, since I was a virgin.

Basically I saw passionate kissing as foreplay, and I didn't want to engage in foreplay of any sort with anyone other than my husband, nor before we were married. Besides, I'd heard too many stories of people who have a hard time drawing the line AT kissing, and it seemed more realistic to draw it BEFORE kissing. Don't even start down that path until we're married, and we won't have regrets.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!


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