teenage children found porn on Dad's iPhone

Addiction, wrong expectations, habitual masturbation ...
brokenheart
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Date of your marriage (past or future): August 13th, 1994
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Re: teenage children found porn on Dad's iPhone

Postby brokenheart » Sat Jul 08, 2017 9:56 pm

Its been a month and I thought you might like an update. This has been the hardest thing we have ever faced in our marriage thus far. But I can wholeheartedly tell you that in His lovingkindness God is faithful! After I found out, I could not speak or really be around my husband so I sought God. He was either going to meet me/help me or my faith was for not. I wrote verses on post-its around our home because I struggled to keep my mind focused on His word. A couple of things happened. First He did speak to me and told me that I have great value. From that moment, I really did not have any more anger just compassion for my husband. This was NOT something I could accomplish on my own only the Holy Spirit working through me. Secondly, the verses which I meant only for me ended up ministering to my husband and drawing him to the Lord.

We have probably had the most tender, physically and spiritually close month of our entire marriage. There have been many changes. We now go to bed together with the door closed. This was surprisingly hard for our children. We spend time in God's word daily together (rather than separately)- his initiation. We are reading Undefiled by Harry Schaumburg which has brought very fruitful discussions. We are being very emotionally honest and checking in with our feelings often. (It is still a very fragile time).

We have yet to talk with the children together- our thoughts/perspectives are really being changed by what we are learning through reading. I will say though it is quite apparent to them that our relationship is changing. DH has talked with two men who will be meeting with him regularly for accountability. They are believers who have sadly walked this road but have had victory in their own lives through Christ. We also just found out that one of the pastors at our church has walked this road and had victory too. I am praying DH will be willing to seek him out. We also have to set up Covenant Eyes or some program like that.

To those who commented on our situation: Thank you so much for pointing the way and being an encouragement. God has used your words greatly.

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SeekingChange
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Date of your marriage (past or future): August 17th, 1994
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Re: teenage children found porn on Dad's iPhone

Postby SeekingChange » Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:22 pm

What a blessing to read your update. May the Lord continue to strengthen your marriage and strengthen each of you as His son and daughter, to restore what needs restored but to also make new.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, find comfort, survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years...then she did something new.

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