*Through a Man's Eyes*

Addiction, wrong expectations, habitual masturbation ...
User avatar
seeking perspective
Under the stars
Posts: 5501
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:01 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): April 27th, 1991
Gender: Female
Location: between the Northwoods and the Great Plains and the Great Lakes
Contact:

*Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby seeking perspective » Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:01 am

Has anyone else started reading Shaunti Feldhahn's new book, Through a Man's Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men? She co-authored it with the guy who does XXXchurch.

I have to say I'm stunned. I've read some of her other books and the comments she has made about men being visual, but I have been shocked by some of what I'm reading. It seems that every few pages, my jaw drops when there's a description of how men perceive the world so differently than I do. They talk about the emotional aspect of seeing different kinds of images and touch on why porn is sometimes preferable to intimacy for some men.

It is a book for women to help them understand men's visual nature for the purpose of supporting their husbands and sons. There are appropriate caveats and cautions. The authors acknowledge that there are generalizations that don't apply to everyone. More important, they frequently encourage prayer and talk about how to use (and how not to use) the information they're giving us.

I've been fascinated. I wish I'd read this book ten years ago when my sons were entering puberty.

I nearly posted this in the marriage resources forum, but I thought it might be more useful here. (Mods, if it is better suited to the other forum, please move it on over. :))
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
~Psalm 30:11
The Forgiven Wife
and Sex Chat for Christian Wives

User avatar
Leah
Under the stars
Posts: 15914
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:42 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): November 3rd, 1979
Gender: Female
Location: The Volunteer State

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Leah » Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:59 am

A lot of what is in this book is stuff I've been teaching at home and in groups for over 25 years. I've been on record here on the boards since 2006.

I think one of the biggest mistakes a woman makes is to expect a man not to be and act like a man. God has made men the way they are so he can reach beyond himself to lay himself down for ideals that are bigger than he is. Denied permission to be a man, a man will die inwardly and give in to the temptations to be something other than what he is.
Leah

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”--C.S. Lewis


TMB Copyright and Fair Use

User avatar
Hiswifeagain
Under the stars
Posts: 3696
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 8:57 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 30th, 1984
Gender: Female
Location: The land of 10,000 lakes and road construction projects

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Hiswifeagain » Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:13 pm

I finished the book yesterday. I thought it was very informative. I struggled just a bit with the section on being careful how we dress in public. She talks about how showing curves is a temptation. She said the nicer your figure, the more you need to be careful what you wear. Something about that bothered me. Though she also said you don't have to go to extremes or look frumpy and that it is a man's responsibility what he chooses to do with an image that he sees. For me it still left some lingering feelings of resentment that I guess I need to work on.

I do understand the principle because a cupcake is more appealing to me than liver, so the temptation to eat it will be greater. I wouldn't want someone to hold a cupcake under my nose when I'm trying to diet, but does it mean others should try to hide the cupcakes when I am near?

I have lost 27 pounds over the past 4-5 months and have had to buy new clothes. I have found that it's hard to find things that aren't frumpy sacks that don't show curves. I have asked my husband to help me figure out where the balance is.

Another interesting thing that came up for me reading the book is what about my sons? Do I need to be careful what they see me in? I work out at home and I usually where leggings and a sports bra and tank top. The sports bra makes for a lot of cleavage. I never thought about it being anything that might cause my sons any discomfort. But after talking with my dh about it, I am thinking that it may be something to consider.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

User avatar
Leah
Under the stars
Posts: 15914
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:42 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): November 3rd, 1979
Gender: Female
Location: The Volunteer State

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Leah » Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:04 pm

First of all, HWA, I'm not sure my personal modesty standard is something I am going to derive from a book, or this book. I really disagree that pretty/thin women should be more modest than heavy/unattractive women. Having been both at some point, the standard really belongs to God. The authority of Scrioture leads me to do what is in my power to glorify God, first of all, and let that be my one responsibility.

As to workout wear, my opinion is that iitis not day wear, even at home when other family members are there. I used to go to exercise classes, and I would either bring something to layer over yoga pants or change. It's not a problem to grab an oversize shirt or something to pull on when the rest of the family are home. We are empty nesters, and it doesn't really matter what we wear inside our house, but I do add a layer if I am going out to the mailbox. My neighbors deserve that much respect.

I have never thought of leggings as outerwear. They are not pants. They are an additional layer of modesty and warmth under dresses and skirts. In fact that look has really captured with Jake. He really likes me in a dress or skirt with leggings and flat shoes.

In any case, I kind of feel the modesty lecture took away from the message of this book. The idea really should not be about being so concerned with what other people think that we completely lose sight of the men we married, and do what we can to saturate their eyes and hearts with images that bring them comfort and defense.
Leah

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”--C.S. Lewis


TMB Copyright and Fair Use

User avatar
Drob
King bed
Posts: 253
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:49 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): March 30th, 1991
Gender: Male
Location: Florida

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Drob » Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:26 pm

This is a great topic. IMHO Men are very visual and we have urges that stem from a bioligic blueprinting. For example when I'm busy or working sexual urges are not a problem, but even then, if bombarded by images of women dressed provocatively or acting in a provacative manner those urges can rise to the top (no pun intended). We men can be aroused by some of the most crazy things and I agree it's not the fault of the woman that a man is turned on, but if she intentenally dresses for that reaction doesn't she share in the fault? Let's face it, society is bombarding us with sexual images, inuendoes and situations that create an environment of sexual energy and desire, just look at the TV line up during the evening hours, we don't need to reenforce those situations by our actions too. The problem I see is that we as Christians are emulating the characters on TV and movies by the way we dress, talk and act. So if we teach others about Christ by our actions what message are we teaching?

User avatar
seeking perspective
Under the stars
Posts: 5501
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:01 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): April 27th, 1991
Gender: Female
Location: between the Northwoods and the Great Plains and the Great Lakes
Contact:

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby seeking perspective » Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:43 pm

What I found especially fascinating in the book was the descriptions of what it actually means that men are visual. Just the idea that images will come to mind, unbidden, surprised me. It has made me very glad that I chose to become visually generous with my husband in spite of my own feelings about my body.

I am visual in many ways--but not at all in the ways that this book describes many men are.
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
~Psalm 30:11
The Forgiven Wife
and Sex Chat for Christian Wives

User avatar
SeekingChange
Under the stars
Posts: 5136
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:41 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 17th, 1994
Gender: Female

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby SeekingChange » Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:50 pm

I have not read the book, but I just ordered it.

When the topic of modesty comes up I always go back to a lesson we learned on honor when preparing for a mission trip to the Navajo Reservation. Honor is an outward expression of an inward respect. The leader of our team really taught and pressed honor, with the way we dressed, the way we acted, the way we treated their "sacred" sights. Did we have to agree that their mountains were sacred? No. Did we have to agree with their religious beliefs? No. Did we have to agree that it was or wasn't fair that men could wear shorts and women couldn't? No. Did we have to agree on whose, the Navajo's or today's "American culture", ways are superior, i.e. not making eye contact, not being loud, no hand gestures, not interrupting, etc? No. But out of our respect for the people we need to show honor to what was important to them. It wasn't about our "rights".

Am I honoring the men around me, my fellow brothers in Christ's or not, by the way I dress and by my behavior? Am I bound by the "law" not to dress a certain way? No. Is their sin on me? No. But, out of my respect for them, the least I can do is show an outward expression of that respect and honor them. It's not about my "rights".
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, find comfort, survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years...then she did something new.

My Story

User avatar
Leah
Under the stars
Posts: 15914
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:42 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): November 3rd, 1979
Gender: Female
Location: The Volunteer State

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Leah » Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:56 pm

Everything about me screams visual. Even in relationships, I rely on facial expression and body language to communicate what words can't say. When I learn a procedure at work, I have a mental video tape, visualizing how the thing is supposed to go. I describe things in visual terms. It's a concept I understand quite well because I am visually driven.

I think the idea that all men are visual is probably not correct, but I do believe that men are wired to receive sexuality in visual and experiential ways. I think they have a mental video that replays the images they have seen. It is a unique and difficult concept to grasp. Even accidental images are captured permanently. And interestingly, the images are generally of adult women, not children, and that should say something. It means that God intends a man to seek an adult wife. With the popular culture looking to younger and younger people, it is very important that adult, married women make sure they give their husbands the adult reference point. The mature, adult woman's body is the body meant for a husband.

This is why I do not get too hung up about modesty. I am modest. But I have an example to set for younger, or immature women, who do not understand the visual nature of their husbands. My body is meant for my husband. I live that out.
Leah

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”--C.S. Lewis


TMB Copyright and Fair Use

User avatar
seeking perspective
Under the stars
Posts: 5501
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:01 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): April 27th, 1991
Gender: Female
Location: between the Northwoods and the Great Plains and the Great Lakes
Contact:

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby seeking perspective » Thu Aug 13, 2015 3:12 pm

I am visual, too, although I visualize words more than images. What you describe is intentional image retrieval or image retrieval with a purpose (remembering how to do something, for instance). Do you also experience what the book describes as the sexual images that pop, unbidden, into your head? That is the thing that surprised me the most because it is so different from my experience with images.The concept of mentally replaying and indexing sexual images seemed so foreign to me.

The modesty comments in the book have given me some good things to think about--less in terms of dressing to conceal around others and more in terms of dressing to reveal for my husband.
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
~Psalm 30:11
The Forgiven Wife
and Sex Chat for Christian Wives

User avatar
Hiswifeagain
Under the stars
Posts: 3696
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 8:57 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 30th, 1984
Gender: Female
Location: The land of 10,000 lakes and road construction projects

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Hiswifeagain » Thu Aug 13, 2015 6:16 pm

Thanks for the feedback, Leah. It just didn't really occur to me that it would be inappropriate to wear work out clothes in front of my sons, in the same way I wouldn't think it's inappropriate to wear them around other women. I guess this mama forgets her sons are men! I'll certainly be more careful when they are here.

I have been one to be rather black and white. I'm trying to see shades of grey more now. Sometimes it's hard for me to discern when I'm getting legalistic about things. When I first read For Women Only, I started wearing all these long skirts and baggy shirts. My poor husband wasn't too thrilled.

I appreciate SC's comment about honor. I'll be praying about what that looks like in my choice of clothing. Thanks for starting this thread, SP
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

User avatar
bigloop
Hammock
Posts: 1175
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 7:57 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): February 20th, 1993
Gender: Male

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby bigloop » Thu Aug 13, 2015 6:52 pm

SeekingChange wrote:It's not about my "rights".


Possibly the most poignant thing said in this thread - for both sexes.

User avatar
Learning1
Hammock
Posts: 1036
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:06 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): February 15th, 2014
Gender: Female

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Learning1 » Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:22 pm

I have just read through the first chapter, so far nothing new to me. My guess is that I am more visual than the avg female.
seeking perspective wrote:Do you also experience what the book describes as the sexual images that pop, unbidden, into your head?

Yes , I can relate to this not really from porn as I have not had that much exposure , but from sexy r-rated romantic movie love scenes. I can also easily expand on those love scenes in my mind. Huge issue for me when I was single.

Leah wrote:I have never thought of leggings as outerwear. They are not pants. They are an additional layer of modesty and warmth under dresses and skirts. In fact that look has really captured with Jake. He really likes me in a dress or skirt with leggings and flat shoes.

:D My DH likes that look. A knee length or slighty above the knee wool skirt with warm leggings paired with my faux uggs and a wool sweater or winter coat is a look he likes when we go to cold weather outdoor events.

He also likes sundresses and some very sexy go out to a fancy restaurant dinner dresses probably not modest by this books standards.

I don't dress for other men I dress for my DH's preference and what I am comfortable with.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis

User avatar
cbmike
King bed
Posts: 735
Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 1:54 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 7th, 2013
Gender: Male
Location: Yarvil, OH

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby cbmike » Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:07 am

Hiswifeagain wrote:Another interesting thing that came up for me reading the book is what about my sons? Do I need to be careful what they see me in? I work out at home and I usually where leggings and a sports bra and tank top. The sports bra makes for a lot of cleavage. I never thought about it being anything that might cause my sons any discomfort.


My step-mom has always been big into fitness, and she would often work out in tight shorts and some sport top. It might even have just been a sports bra, I don't really remember. It never caused me any discomfort at all, nor did it ever stand out in my mind, even as a single teenager. She acted like it was normal, so it just felt normal.

It just always seems to me like these kinds of statements about men are sort of overstating the case. Some of the things they often talk about were my experience as a sexless teenager, but as a married sexually sated adult most of these kinds of testimonies just make me think "really?"
seeking perspective wrote:I am visual, too, although I visualize words more than images. What you describe is intentional image retrieval or image retrieval with a purpose (remembering how to do something, for instance).

This sounds closer to the way my mind works. Everything is about words by default. Creating visuals takes effort.

Do you also experience what the book describes as the sexual images that pop, unbidden, into your head? That is the thing that surprised me the most because it is so different from my experience with images.The concept of mentally replaying and indexing sexual images seemed so foreign to me.

This was only my experience when I was sexually starved, particularly the "mental replaying and indexing", but even then images popping up "unbidden" was a rarity. Usually this was only the case if I was already aroused.
There's one thing I know, and this is it.

User avatar
SquarePants
California King
Posts: 879
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:31 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 10th, 2005
Gender: Male

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby SquarePants » Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:10 am

I’m similar to cbmike in some ways, and different in others. I can’t speak for all men, but I’m sure that there are many others like me. Unlike Mike, creating visuals requires no work for me, and happens spontaneously.

Regarding sports bras, etc…, boys will tend to see it as normal if you’ve always acted like it’s normal. Our family is pretty lax about nudity, so it would be fine in our family.

>> Do you also experience what the book describes as the sexual images that pop, unbidden, into your head?

Yes, all the time. An analogy that I once heard is that it’s like a visual form of Tourette's syndrome. Instead of uttering inappropriate words and phrases, I’ll get explicit visual images that pop into my head. It could be a simple image, or even a visual of an explicit action. It doesn’t matter whether I’m at the grocery store, a fast food restaurant, church, or at a public swimming pool. It also reminds me a bit of the movie “A Beautiful Mind,” where the main character would see his imaginary friend. No one else saw his friend, and he learned that he could chose to ignore him. I often “see” images that no one else sees, and I ignore them as well. I acknowledge that they exists, but they aren’t important to me.

I quickly read through chapter one in the book (chapter one is online for free). Unlike the guy in chapter one, I don’t really worry about it. He seems stressed by it. I just accept that this is who and I am and this is how God made me. I think that I’d go crazy trying to avoid it 100%, and I don’t think that it’s healthy or even possible. A quote from Brad Watson comes to mind about the extraordinary lengths that well-intentioned men have used to try to avoid “impure” thoughts:

History records that one monk, Ammonius, burned his body with an iron whenever he had an impure thought. Another, Pachon, held an asp against his genital organs.
Benedict threw himself naked into thick briars and nettles tearing his flesh, hoping that the wounds on his body would cure the "lust" wound of his soul. Even Origen, the famous fourth-century Christian leader, castrated himself in an attempt to become completely free of sexual temptation.

I don’t avoid people based on their appearance. If I lived in a place where women routinely went topless, I’d notice their breasts. If we lived in a place where women always wore burkas, I’d notice any kind of brief curve, and this would spark visualizations. I think that women should wear things that they enjoy wearing, and just try to stay reasonably within cultural norms for the area. Different women have different standards, and it doesn’t really matter to me.

User avatar
Hiswifeagain
Under the stars
Posts: 3696
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 8:57 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 30th, 1984
Gender: Female
Location: The land of 10,000 lakes and road construction projects

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby Hiswifeagain » Mon Aug 17, 2015 11:08 am

Thanks, guys for your perspective. :)

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

User avatar
lysander
Twin size
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:51 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): July 15th, 2005
Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby lysander » Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:27 am

seeking perspective wrote:What I found especially fascinating in the book was the descriptions of what it actually means that men are visual. Just the idea that images will come to mind, unbidden, surprised me. It has made me very glad that I chose to become visually generous with my husband in spite of my own feelings about my body.

I am visual in many ways--but not at all in the ways that this book describes many men are.


Hi, I haven't read the book. Don't know if I will, but I just wanted to add something:

My DW is often visually generous with her body, undressing before bed in front of me, doing sexy zoomba moves, etc. Things that would clearly turn me on if I let them. But the problem for me is that this rarely leads to sex. She just doesn't want sex that much, or maybe takes a couple of days of teasing and hinting to get turned on to want it. So when I see her undress, I have to force myself to learn that her showing off her body does not mean sex or lead to sex. The problem with this is that I am now disconnecting my wife naked from thoughts of sex because of this repeated pattern. It's sad. The disconnect actually means that I no longer see her as sexy, because I can't let myself (I don't tell her this though). I don't really know what to do about it. So regularly being visually generous without following through with sex actually backfires and does more harm than good. To me it's kind of peculiar that women can want to look sexy and be told that they are sexy, but yet actually not be interested in sex. (I know that our culture values looking sexy and trains us this way.)

I would love to know what others (men and women) think about this.

(P.S. Our communication about sex is not that good, difficult to understand each other.)

User avatar
padsnd
Under the stars
Posts: 4071
Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:15 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): January 1st, 2004
Gender: Male
Location: USA

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby padsnd » Tue Aug 18, 2015 1:37 pm

Lysander,

Agreed. There are many effects like this. Basically any and all limits, avoidances, or even just missed opportunities train a spouse to ignore an ultimately reject the signals of one's spouse. This is not a good thing as it is very difficult to undo.

What you are describing is almost like a Pavlov's dog situation. If ring the bell enough times without giving the dog food, he eventually stops thinking of the bell as being a signal for dinner.

As I consider the effects of sexual issues in marriage more and more, I continue to see that there are far reaching and domino effects that too many never consider.


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
padsnd

User avatar
seeking perspective
Under the stars
Posts: 5501
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:01 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): April 27th, 1991
Gender: Female
Location: between the Northwoods and the Great Plains and the Great Lakes
Contact:

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby seeking perspective » Tue Aug 18, 2015 2:31 pm

padsnd wrote:What you are describing is almost like a Pavlov's dog situation. If ring the bell enough times without giving the dog food, he eventually stops thinking of the bell as being a signal for dinner.


Maybe it is even a step beyond this. Not only does the visual stimulus cease to be connected to sexual thoughts, it also becomes connected with feelings of rejection and emasculation.

I began working on sexual intimacy just about five years ago. Part of my efforts to work on sex included wearing nice bras and underwear that matched as well as no longer wearing t-shirts and underwear as nightclothes.

A few months ago, I found that I was thinking about going back to my boring old underwear and I almost put an old t-shirt on for bed. This really puzzled me, because our marriage is in a good and growing place now and our sexual intimacy was the best it's ever been. Why was I finding myself digging through my drawers for things I've barely worn recently?

I realized that it was because I didn't think my husband was even noticing. I thought maybe he'd just gotten so used to being able to see me that the sight of my body no longer had any impact on him. :( I wondered if I'd gotten too available and was being taken for granted. I asked him about it, and he shocked me by telling me what underwear and bras I'd worn for the past several days when I never even saw him looking.

What it came down to was that my sexual rejection had trained him to sneak looks rather than look openly. (In other words, his peripheral vision got a work-out.) The novelty of my new under-wardrobe has worn off, and there was part of him that still feared that if he was too obvious about his looking now that it's just part of normal life, I might remove the opportunity.

As I consider the effects of sexual issues in marriage more and more, I continue to see that there are far reaching and domino effects that too many never consider.


Yup. Five years, and my husband was still afraid to be seen enjoying my nakedness.

Fortunately, one of the things that has changed is that we can communicate. He told me why he hadn't been looking directly, and I told him that I would like him to do so because it helps me know that my efforts matter. So he's been making a point of looking openly and letting me know that he is doing so.

We've talked about this book as I've gone through different sections of it, and that has opened up some things that he used to not talk about with me.

It's good that so much has changed in five years, but it is disheartening to be reminded of some of those domino effects. Five years--and only now do I see my husband actually looking at me when I am visually available (naked, dressing/undressing, flashing, etc.).
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
~Psalm 30:11
The Forgiven Wife
and Sex Chat for Christian Wives

User avatar
padsnd
Under the stars
Posts: 4071
Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:15 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): January 1st, 2004
Gender: Male
Location: USA

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby padsnd » Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:11 pm

SP,

It took a long time to get to where you were five years ago. Fortunately, it hasn't taken as long to get to where you are now. Be proud what God has been doing in and through you that the last five years have been progress and quick progress at that. If you hadn't made the decision to reverse the trend, you would have spent five more years with the wrong training. As it is now, you and your husband are seeing the benefits of the past five years in ways that those two spouse from 5 years ago would have thought was impossible.

Paul put it a bit more eloquently when he said, "Who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we could think or imagine." I like to point out after reading that verse that God does those things after making us creatures with vivid imaginations. In other words, He set the bar high for himself, and He still outdoes that!


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
padsnd

User avatar
seeking perspective
Under the stars
Posts: 5501
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:01 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): April 27th, 1991
Gender: Female
Location: between the Northwoods and the Great Plains and the Great Lakes
Contact:

Re: *Through a Man's Eyes*

Postby seeking perspective » Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:59 pm

Thanks for those words, padsnd. I am thankful for the progress we've made. I never imagined that our marriage could be what it has become.

After I posted this, I realized that the fact that my husband was able to tell me why he wasn't looking was a sign of more intimacy as well. A few years ago, telling me about having to sneak a look would have felt too risky for him.
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
~Psalm 30:11
The Forgiven Wife
and Sex Chat for Christian Wives


Return to “Pornography”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users