hifromme67 wrote:Do message boards and/or forums ever make you stress more than help you? Sometimes they do for me. They often trigger things or make me think of things beyond of what I should be thinking about.
Actually, the answer often is "yes."
Getting support for something is generally a smart and good thing to do. Sometimes, however, support can have a negative effect on our lives. It can lead us to rethink our identity, it can reframe how we see the world, it gives us words and concepts that replace our old ones, and so on. The support intended to help us solve our problems can end up keeping us focused on our problems instead.
This has less to do the with boards and forums, I think, than it does with us.
(I can think of two specific times in my own life when I've given a support site too much importance in my mind and heart.)
If a support board is a trigger for you, then it is more a problem than it is a support.
I'd like to ask three questions about how you are doing:
1. What are you doing to tend your marriage aside from the pornography issue? Do you and your husband do date nights? Are you making changes in how you communicate with each other? Are you doing things that are enjoyable and connective together?
2. What are you doing to take care of yourself? What are you doing to relax, to help yourself develop a sense of calm and peace, etc.?
3. How is your relationship with God?
If you are tending to these areas on a frequent and regular basis, a support site should be able to play a healthy role in your life. If you aren't doing anything in these areas, stay away from support sites (or scale back on your participation) and work on those areas.