Book for Couples to Read Together

Addiction, wrong expectations, habitual masturbation ...
hifromme67
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Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby hifromme67 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:16 am

If there were one book that couples could read during porn addiction recovery, which would be the best. It would have to be a straight-forward book, not religious, not too graphic about porn and not too triggering for spouse. Basically how to deal with the aftermath. My therapist has given me two titles but wanted some input.


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His son and daughter
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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby His son and daughter » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:14 pm

What titles did your therapist suggest?

hifromme67
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Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby hifromme67 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:29 pm

Rob Weiss's Out of the Doghouse. This one I'm om the fence about as it is only about cheating.

The Couple's Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal
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OldMarriedLady
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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby OldMarriedLady » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:47 pm

What do you mean by "triggering?" How would anyone here know what triggers you?
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hifromme67
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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby hifromme67 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:54 pm

Well I mean too graphic about porn which that alone is triggering to me.

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SeekingChange
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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby SeekingChange » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:12 am

I'm not sure how you expect to actually find healing or freedom in this, for either of you, when you take the Lord out of it. ("not religious")
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, find comfort, survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years...then she did something new.

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TJC
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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby TJC » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:24 am

I was recommended a book "Surfing for God", when I first started dealing with my addiction. It is an excellent read, and might help both of you work towards healing.
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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby doug-h » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:45 am

What exactly are your expectations? It seems to me that they might be a little unrealistic. If everything is so watered down that it doesn't challenge either of you, then it probably would be a pointless pursuit.

There is no single way to deal with the aftermath that fits every couple or every circumstance.

The truth is that after a year, you should have some pretty good mechanisms already established, and if you are still struggling in that area, then you are unlikely to gain meaningful insight from a book.

Maybe the best book would be the Bible, specifically verses related to forgiveness, and a healthy emphasis on self worth.

You are going to have triggers, it is a fact of life. Rather than trying to avoid them for the rest of your life, it is time for you to face them head on when they occur, and learn to conquer them.

If your husband has been clean from a year, and you are still where you seem to be, it is you who needs recovery more than he.

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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby ShaunTheSalvo » Fri Feb 17, 2017 5:33 pm

Hard to recommend books that aren't Christian, as the only real way to get free from porn (or any sexual sin) is through Jesus. I can speak from experience there.

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Re: Book for Couples to Read Together

Postby Nvr2Late » Wed Mar 01, 2017 4:18 pm

My first thought reading this was much like OML's response. My second thought is, if you don't learn to overcome those triggers of yours, you will NEVER heal. It's been a long time now. Nobody said this would be easy, but I tell you, it will be worth it. You need to pray for courage and strength, IMO. (and I say this with care. I have been where you are, so I don't say this flippantly).
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