Drob wrote:Does it matter if your wife knows, is ok with it and sometimes encourages it?
Nobody addressed your question, so I'll take a stab at it.
Yes, it matters. You're opening Pandora's Box whether you realize it now or not. And I have a difficult time wrapping my head around a Christian couple truly believing that this practice is OK in the sight of God. Now, if you're not believing, practicing Christians, that's a whole nother issue.
You're technically inviting others into your marriage bed, even if mentally. There is a strong possibility of becoming addicted to the porn, which you must know. (www.yourbrainonporn.com
I get why a wife would do it. Sometimes when we are not happy in our MB, we get tired of being pursued for sex. Even refusers get tired of saying no all the time. It's easier to harden my heart and tell you to "go take care of it yourself" (as bigloop's wife has been quoted, and I'm certain she isn't unique). But now I have a hardened heart, and I'm encouraging my husband to go find solace for his physical needs with a pretend fantasy that will twist his expectations of me and our sex life into something unrecognizable sooner or later. I hope you aren't content with this situation in your marriage, Drob. I would hope you seek better.