Leah wrote:I wonder what you have done over the years to for your own support and growth? Groups? Reading? Counseling?
We have done counseling several times, weekend to remember, remarriage connection group. I've read books and done counseling on my own also. That is why I want to give up. If this man is addicted to porn, none of these things we've gone through will help him change. His ex wife found child porn. I don't think he's into that, but I have no trust in him at all anymore. With the passive role he has played as a husband and father, I don't see my life changing much as a single mom. Of course my foot has always been one foot out the door, as I knew God did not want me to marry him. I was the girl who didn't date, who wanted to save myself for marriage. I got involved with one guy for a short time, who basically used me for sex once and then tossed me aside. It crippled me. My husband came along shortly after that. I don't think he should be in a relationship. He cannot even have basic hygiene, nor does he care about our kids hygiene. He doesn't help them with homework or have a clue when anything is due. He doesn't buy them anything, not even birthday gifts. He's an extremely selfish person and I cannot see myself being happy in a marriage where I don't get to have sex, have no spiritual leader, etc. I have endured so much. I'm far from perfect yes. But we cannot talk without arguing and this is the home my kids are growing up in. I don't see any way. We've gone through so much to get help and NOTHING helps. I've prayed more for God to change me and he refuses to change.