Newlyweds - no O for her

Can't orgasm, pain during intercourse, etc.
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Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby husband » Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:04 pm

Hello all on TMB! :newbie
Since 12th October 2013, I have been married to my wonderful DW ::luv . We both were virgin before marriage.
Unfortunately, I could not give her an O in any way, yet. We both regret this. She also did never MB and feels awkward to do, so I have no hint from her.
Could anyone give advice where to start?

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby hubbyforher » Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:35 pm

husband wrote:Hello all on TMB! :newbie
Since 12th October 2013, I have been married to my wonderful DW ::luv . We both were virgin before marriage.
Unfortunately, I could not give her an O in any way, yet. We both regret this. She also did never MB and feels awkward to do, so I have no hint from her.
Could anyone give advice where to start?


First of all, congratulations, both on your marriage, and on saving yourselves for one another!

don't be discouraged, it can sometimes take a little time for the DW to get to know how her body works. What I would recommend is for you to give her oral. Many women can reach orgasm though oral stimulation and communication from your DW on what is working. Have you tried this?
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby husband » Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:46 pm

hubbyforher wrote:First of all, congratulations, both on your marriage, and on saving yourselves for one another!

don't be discouraged, it can sometimes take a little time for the DW to get to know how her body works. What I would recommend is for you to give her oral. Many women can reach orgasm though oral stimulation and communication from your DW on what is working. Have you tried this?


Thank you my friend! :)
I have suggested to try oral, but my DW is very shy and doesn't let me neither kiss her on down there... :(

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby John143 » Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:09 pm

The key is for the both of you to know how her body works. It took me a long time to realize that many women have a very hard time Oing from PIV sex alone. I had no idea what her clitoris was and how that was the key to giving her an O.

Check out TMB's page on the female anatomy. It has a lot of great information that will help you learn how to give her an O. It would probably do her a lot of good to read it too.

http://site.themarriagebed.com/biology/her-plumbing
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby padsnd » Mon Dec 23, 2013 3:00 pm

Others can give you pointers on the other aspects, but I would suggest that some of it is mindset. Neither of you should be using a phrase like "down there." It contributes to the idea of it being something foreign and not mentionable. It won't solve your problem, but I suggest that you change terminology. Call it her vulva, vagina, lady parts, Mrs. Wonderful, or something else. Give it a name if you have to, but don't view or even refer to those parts as something that you can't put words on except to label by location.
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby hubbyforher » Mon Dec 23, 2013 4:00 pm

Another thing that might be helpful if your DW is a little shy to receive oral is for the two of you to lay down on your sides, with you behind her. Enter her from behind, and then pull her one leg back over you a little bit to expose her vagina and clitoris. Lube your hand really well (e.g., KY or various other type lubes), and then massage very slowly and gently that entire area of the vagina and clitoris, and you'll notice how things change there as she becomes aroused.

Don't move too much inside her at that time. That way she can focus on the external manual stimulation she is receiving. Sometimes too many different forms of stimulation can make it difficult for her. As she gets more aroused and closer to her O, she start moving on her own such that she'll be thrusting back against you. Take your time with this and enjoy the ride. This process can easily take 15-20 minutes, so don't get discouraged if she's not ready to go right away.
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby seeking perspective » Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:56 pm

At the bottom of this post, you'll see links to Pearl's OysterBed's orgasm series. It is written for women, so it might be worth sharing with your wife so she can find some encouragement there.
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby husband » Wed Dec 25, 2013 9:14 am

hubbyforher wrote:Another thing that might be helpful if your DW is a little shy to receive oral is for the two of you to lay down on your sides, with you behind her. Enter her from behind, and then pull her one leg back over you a little bit to expose her vagina and clitoris. Lube your hand really well (e.g., KY or various other type lubes), and then massage very slowly and gently that entire area of the vagina and clitoris, and you'll notice how things change there as she becomes aroused.

Don't move too much inside her at that time. That way she can focus on the external manual stimulation she is receiving. Sometimes too many different forms of stimulation can make it difficult for her. As she gets more aroused and closer to her O, she start moving on her own such that she'll be thrusting back against you. Take your time with this and enjoy the ride. This process can easily take 15-20 minutes, so don't get discouraged if she's not ready to go right away.

Thanks, I think this works! :D We experimented yesterday and DW liked this much... She had no O yet, but was pretty close. Maybe she needs more time. Do you have any tips for something that would help reduce her shyness? Perhaps this is a hitch.

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby hubbyforher » Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:09 am

husband wrote:Thanks, I think this works! :D We experimented yesterday and DW liked this much... She had no O yet, but was pretty close. Maybe she needs more time. Do you have any tips for something that would help reduce her shyness? Perhaps this is a hitch.


Glad to hear you're making progress. Women are complex creatures, LOL! If she's getting close to her O, you guys are making excellent progress, and over time you'll both learn what works for her. Just a friendly word of caution, don't making things formulaic. What works for your DW one day may not work the next. Don't ask me why, it's unexplainable, LOL. But what will work every time is honest, constructive communication between the two of you. She can communicate to you what's working and what's not. If somethings is not working, don't take it personal or get discouraged, just transition to something else. After all, it's all good, right?

Regarding shyness, that's a toughie. If the shyness is based on teaching that sex is not really what good girls do, then you'll need to focus on re-programming and getting rid of such nonsense. Not an easy thing to do. If the shyness is just a personality thing, then things will improve over time as she gets more familiar with you'r body and her own. Just remember that a woman may feel extremely vulnerable during sex, and it's your' job to make her feel that she's in a safe and secure place.

Also, don't drop the oral thing. Allowing you to do that for her will help her immensely. Let her know that you don't find that are offensive at all. My DW could not understand how anyone would think that area is nice, and I still have to tell her how great it is....
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby Nova » Fri Dec 27, 2013 12:59 am

It was at least a month or so after my wife and I got married before we learned how to get her to orgasm. Now, I can do it almost every time, even with my off-hand. Patience is key in those early stages. Just keep on trying, and whether you get her there or not, celebrate each attempt, because it was another intimate moment, and a learning experience. And don't forget to celebrate every small victory, too.
Please don't think I'm being aggressive just because I use strong language. If I'm posting on your thread, it's because I care.

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby librarian » Fri Dec 27, 2013 7:00 am

Two things: Time and Give Her an Orgasm.

The vids are not porn, using a plastic model. Time? Go to bed at 8 and just spend the night in foreplay, exploring and learning.
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby husband » Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:01 am

Well, after longer silence I got to type here again.
We are still waiting for DWs first O, but thanks to you we spend more time talking and have a lot of fun together. :D Both hope her O will come soon and look forward to it!
Our stage is this now: Manual stimulation and PIV are very arousing for my DW and in most cases, it can bring her to the point when she really near an O, but can't reach it. After a while she starts feel a sick, so she asks me to stop... I encourage my DW to receive oral (strangely she likes giving it to me) and try MB too. I'm trying to do everything to let her know that she is loved. Nevertheless, she is still a bit ashamed to do these things.

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby mamame » Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:04 am

husband wrote: (strangely she likes giving it to me)


Nothing strange about that!

....posted from phone

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby hubbyforher » Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:51 pm

Sounds like you're both making progress. Great to hear that you are communicating!! That's a big deal, and will help you immensely in the future.

Keep encouraging her on the OS. Just tell her to let you do it, even if it just for you, since you want that. If she allows it for you, she'll realize how great it is, and hopefully will subsequently allow it because it gives her such pleasure.
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby Sakanash » Tue Jan 14, 2014 5:55 am

I used to be just like your wife. Shy, and was embarrassed to ask dh what I wanted in lovemaking. I couldn't believe that anybody would actually like OS. He just needed to reassure me that not only did he want to but that he liked and desired it. :D

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby husband » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:15 pm

Yeah, we made it! :D
We had beautiful day together yesterday. When it turned to sexual things I caressed my DW and stimulated her manually. As her arousal got highest level I took her hand and pressed it over her private area. She was dominated by desire at the moment and work of art was finished almost immediately! I was never so excited before and never seen anything so beautiful like my orgasming wife! ::luv :D
It was like sexual reborn for my DW. She felt confused after O, so I reassured her that she just met my deep desire. In the morning we ML and DW enjoyed oral first time! :D
So it seems her shame is completely broken now. Thank you our TMB friends! :D ::tnx

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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby seeking perspective » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:33 pm

husband wrote:Yeah, we made it! :D
We had beautiful day together yesterday. When it turned to sexual things I caressed my DW and stimulated her manually. As her arousal got highest level I took her hand and pressed it over her private area. She was dominated by desire at the moment and work of art was finished almost immediately! I was never so excited before and never seen anything so beautiful like my orgasming wife! ::luv :D
It was like sexual reborn for my DW. She felt confused after O, so I reassured her that she just met my deep desire. In the morning we ML and DW enjoyed oral first time! :D
So it seems her shame is completely broken now. Thank you our TMB friends! :D ::tnx

::clap Yay for both of you! ::two
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Re: Newlyweds - no O for her

Postby hubbyforher » Thu Jan 16, 2014 8:10 pm

husband wrote:Yeah, we made it! :D
We had beautiful day together yesterday. When it turned to sexual things I caressed my DW and stimulated her manually. As her arousal got highest level I took her hand and pressed it over her private area. She was dominated by desire at the moment and work of art was finished almost immediately! I was never so excited before and never seen anything so beautiful like my orgasming wife! ::luv :D
It was like sexual reborn for my DW. She felt confused after O, so I reassured her that she just met my deep desire. In the morning we ML and DW enjoyed oral first time! :D
So it seems her shame is completely broken now. Thank you our TMB friends! :D ::tnx


Awesome!!! You just made my day!

You both have made great, steady progress. Thanks for sharing your victory with us.

Don't be frustrated if what worked before doesn't automatically work the next time. It doesn't always work that way. Don't be afraid to try the same way,but if it's not happening don't get frustrated. Instead, just change things up a bit,and pay attention to how she's responding. Enjoy her complexity... it's a lot of fun!
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