After ej, "O" SO close!

Can't orgasm, pain during intercourse, etc.

After ej, "O" SO close!

Postby lefty » Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:00 pm

My DH and I have been married for almost four months. I love him so much and am so grateful for him. We continue to have trouble...neither of us expected this to be so hard! I haven't had an 'o', and have read tons of suggestions on here to no avail. The closest I've come is the point of his ej and climax. Is there something that he or I could do at that point to push me over the edge so to speak? I just feel awful for how bad he feels or how disappointed I am every time. Thanks so much!

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Re: After ej, "O" SO close!

Postby Kilarin » Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:28 pm

Are you getting any stimulation other than his penis moving in your vagina? Do you or your husband touch your clitoris?

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Re: After ej, "O" SO close!

Postby manaftergod » Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:39 pm

One option is for him to use OS on you until you climax and then continue with PIV.

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Re: After ej, "O" SO close!

Postby Nova » Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:40 pm

This might be an issue with expectations. My wife and I have been married over 2 years and we just recently learned how to get her to orgasm *during* penetration, though still not *from* it.

A few things to check first:
•Is there any manual stimulation before/during/after PIV?
•Are you able to bring yourself to orgasm on your own?
Please don't think I'm being aggressive just because I use strong language. If I'm posting on your thread, it's because I care.

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Re: After ej, "O" SO close!

Postby seeking perspective » Sat Jan 24, 2015 6:19 pm

Is the problem achieving orgasm during intercourse, or is the problem achieving orgasm at all?

If you haven't had an orgasm at all, then it might help to have some times set aside when your husband explores and stimulates you sexually--not with the goal of achieving orgasm, but just to learn your body and you can enjoy sexual sensations.

You can find a wonderful series on orgasm at Bonny's OysterBed (just changed the name from Pearl's OysterBed yesterday--new name and new look!). At the bottom of the first post that I linked, you'll find links to the rest of the series. There is good information about how your sexual parts are made and how they work, and you'll find some suggestions for both you and your husband.

ETA: If the links at the bottom don't work, you can paste the article title into the search box and find it.)
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Re: After ej, "O" SO close!

Postby ahraysee » Thu Mar 05, 2015 8:14 pm

Just want to say I was in the same boat, took around four months to have an orgasm. And actually it took that long for me to even feel pleasure from any stimulation whatsoever! So just want to let you know you are normal, it's okay, and things will work out :)

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After ej, "O" SO close!

Postby dc9 » Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:49 am

It took about 2,5 years of disappointments on my side and frustrations on DW's side after we got married before she learned how to O. She discovered it while she was MS during her first pregnancy (and her libido was very high).
Then it took maybe another year until we learned how I could give it to her and even longer until she had one during PIV (after plenty of foreplay).

I think the hormonal birth control she was on before the pregnancy had a lot to do with it, since it caused her libido to almost disappear. Then as she went off the pill and got pregnant, she learned to O in a couple of months. She hasn't been on the pill since and it was probably the best decision ever for our MB.

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