Difficulty with arousal

Can't orgasm, pain during intercourse, etc.
arosec
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Difficulty with arousal

Postby arosec » Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:35 am

My husband and I have been married about 5 months, and I'm sort of surprised at my lack of arousal. I do desire sex frequently, and really enjoy it. But, in the 5 months we've been married, I have only been truly aroused physically a handful of times. I can only remember once that we have been able to skip the lube. Before we were married, I would get incredibly aroused from just kissing him or even a certain look he'd give me. (We were both virgins) Now I feel like even if we spent hours in foreplay my body wouldn't be ready. It may be partially psychological because we went too fast on our wedding night and I tore. I also struggled with uti's for a few months. I'm healthy now though (had to stop using the diaphragm for bc), and I don't have any physical pain during sex. any ideas as to how we can work through this? We still have sex multiple times a week, so it's not a huge problem, I just get frustrated sometimes that my body isn't cooperating even though I truly enjoy being with my husband.

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SeekingChange
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Re: Difficulty with arousal

Postby SeekingChange » Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:40 am

You could have your hormones checked to make sure all is normal there.
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C_Brown
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Re: Difficulty with arousal

Postby C_Brown » Wed Oct 12, 2016 8:22 pm

Also, if you started taking hormonal birth control like the pill then that can throw things off.
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arosec
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Re: Difficulty with arousal

Postby arosec » Fri Dec 02, 2016 12:44 pm

It's been awhile, and nothing has really changed. I am still having trouble becoming aroused. I'm not on hormonal bc and never have been. I've expressed my frustration with the issue to my husband (not his fault, just general frustration with my body) and neither of us knows what to do. I can only remember once so far that I haven't needed to add lube. It's so strange to me that I used to have plenty of natural lube when we were dating, and we would just kiss! Now it's like...nothing. I still enjoy sex, but it would be nice if my body got into it as well. Don't know if it's related but I've never had an orgasm from PIV either. Only manual, and my DH hasn't attempted OS as of yet.

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Txtwinmom
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Re: Difficulty with arousal

Postby Txtwinmom » Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:12 pm

For now know that you need extra lube and just relax. Our bodies do strange and fantastic things and it doesn't always seem to make sense. If you are otherwise healthy don't worry about needing extra lube, just keep the bottle of lube handy! Things like antihistamines and decongestants can cause problems with your natural lubrication as wells as stressing out about how lubricated you are.

I have been married for 33 years and have never had an orgasm from PIV alone...ever. I'm not broken, although I used to think I was. In that one respect I'm actually pretty normal :lol: . A very large percentage of women don't ever have an orgasm through PIV alone. That doesn't take away from my enjoyment of sex, I now just don't worry about how an orgasm arrives. I would also encourage you both to continue to explore each others bodies. There are a lot of different ways to enjoy each other.
"Sex is not the answer, Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer!". Swami X

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Re: Difficulty with arousal

Postby tjw » Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:21 pm

Don't know if it's related but I've never had an orgasm from PIV either. Only manual


It's not unusual for this to be true. Many women report inability to orgasm from PIV and need direct clitoral stimulation in order to achieve it.

I believe this is unrelated to the lubrication issue. The ladies on here can probably help you much better than I can with positions, added stimulation techniques, and advice toward getting your PIV orgasm.

LATER EDIT: I see one of the fine ladies has already come. God's best blessings to you and your husband.

arosec
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Re: Difficulty with arousal

Postby arosec » Fri Dec 02, 2016 5:17 pm

Thanks everyone for the input! Just had another thought...does anyone know anything about the effects of antibiotics on hormones? I had multiple UTIs starting just a couple days after we got married, and was on antibiotics on and off for probably 3 months. If that could affect hormones is there a way to re balance them?

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Re: Difficulty with arousal

Postby tjw » Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:06 am

There is a known effect in which antibiotics make estrogen less available to the body. This effect is noticed in the menstrual cycle of some women.
My DW had this, although her menstrual cycle was over, she had "hot-flashes" return.

Re-balancing can be undertaken by taking a probiotic. You will need the guidance of a gynecologist who knows your history to decide if and how
you proceed with this, and whether or not this generally-known effect has specific outcomes in you.

My DW tried some kind of yogurt for a while. She is not here just now but I will ask her later about it and report if more info is available from her.


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