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Question about over-stimulation and the female O

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 7:21 am
by Olorin
Olorin here.

Brief summary of our situation thus far. DW has had orgasm trouble in the wake of cancer treatment. (Still doing well, praise God for that!). We began incorporating a Hitachi-Style vibrator in our love-making; specifically, she lays on top of the vibrator and places it on her clitoris. During this time, I start by massaging her back, bottom, etc while she tenses and relaxes her butt. After maybe 30 minutes, I begin to use my fingers to manually stimulate her. During the last several sessions, as I was stimulating her manually she reported having very pleasurable feelings, and I could feel two or three contractions in her vagina. However, my wife reports this feeling passes very quickly, after which she reports her clitoris 'tingling'. It seems that she at last is experiencing at a 'mini-orgasm', and we are both really excited that we have reached this point.

My question is how to help my wife build on this to increase the length and intensity of her O. She reports that as she comes close to her maximum pleasure, she has a difficult time continuing to move on top of the vibrator. I am wondering if when she gets really close, the vibrator has begun to numb her, and that maybe we could use the wand to start with, but that as she begins to become excited we should switch to a different method of stimulation. I have in mind trying the Eroscillator, however, it is a bit on the spendy side, though I am willing to give it a go. My DW's main concern is that it may not be strong enough to get her going, though I think it may be a better toy for her (once she is aroused) assuming that the reason she sort of stalls out is because the wand has overstimulated her. Any thoughts form the Marriage Bed community with regard to this would be appreciated.

I have read the Eroscillator thread and it has been really helpful. I guess I am looking for any more advice from those who have experience with this toy and this particular issue.


Thanks again to all for this great resource, and God Bless!

Re: Question about over-stimulation and the female O

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 8:18 am
by MayDayGirl
Thirty minutes seems like a long time, so I can see where she would become numb. Does she attempt to rub/grind on the vibrator or just lay there on top of it? I think movement would make the O come faster.

Re: Question about over-stimulation and the female O

Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 4:24 pm
by love2
I think she is going numb too.

If I go numb then I will continue to stimulate past the point of numbness I will push the toy deep into my tissue to try to go after the pelvic nerves instead of the clitorial nerves. This is painful and if I stimulate through the pain I will have an orgasm. It is far better if I avoid over stimulation in the firsr place. To do this, I use the lower vibration setting on the toy and the higher settings only at the end. Also, I move the toy around the vulva area to prevent prolonged stimulation of the [clitoris] area (exception is the womanizer which is designed to stimulate the [clitoris] the whole time and not be moved around).

I don't have any experience with the Eroscillator although it interests me. I wasn't impressed with how expensive it was and also it isn't made out of silicone which upset me.

If I was in your situation I would buy vibrators from lovehoney and return them if they don't work. They have a 1 year return policy and you can return for any reason.

I would look at the womanizer, the lelo cruise, the je joue Mimi. I would not recommend bullets (too weak) or other wand toys (too strong).

Hopefully you find something that works.

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Re: Question about over-stimulation and the female O

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2018 3:27 am
by Olorin
MDG, I think she mainly lies still on top of the vibrator, and will suggest she rubs/grinds on it.

Love2, DW usually just leaves it on the lowest setting. In addition to grinding on top, I will suggest that she maybe does not directly stimulate the clitoris until she feels close to orgasm. Thanks also for the vibrator suggestions, as well as the info about lovehoney. I was not aware that any sex toy outlet had a return policy.

Thanks for the help.

Re: Question about over-stimulation and the female O

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2018 9:58 am
by MayDayGirl
In looking at the two vibrators you mentioned, they look like they are the hard silicone. I'd suggest a thin cloth between the vibrator and point of contact with her body. Or try one made of cyberskin that is not so firm.