ED problems in 20s

Erectile disfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed orgasm, etc.
confused_wife20s
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Any ideas on psychological safety net and how to break it

Postby confused_wife20s » Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:16 am

So I know this is from a v old thread, but here goes.....

blushingwife wrote:Once a man has experienced Ed, the fear of not being able to achieve an erection next time he has sex causes him not to have one for sure. Even temporary physical erectile issues, can create havoc on a man's sexual confidence, causing psychological Ed. Using Viagra removes the performance anxiety for some men, thus eliminating the psychological blocks, which makes the experience more enjoyable.

It is like when I go running and bring my inhaler just in case. Most times I don't even need it, but if I realize I forgot it at home, I begin losing my breath almost immediately. It is a security thing for me. A psychological response after being in trouble without my meds one too many times.

.....The above makes perfect sense, so my question is...how does one go about breaking this psychological dependency, has anyone ever succeeded? What about gradually weaning yourself off the ED med using lower doses over time?

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby OldBear » Fri Jun 06, 2014 6:09 am

After checking the interaction on this thread, I thought I'd wade in carefully. Chiefly, because we been married for decades, my ED has popped up :roll: in just the past few years, my prostate has been worked on, and I've never used T-hormone or ED meds. So, we don't quite match-up with your situation CD20 or others posting on this thread.

CD20, what BW stated may have merit, and in my case, it's possibly quite true. Once I experienced the 1st bout of ED that culminated in the inability to finish, it weighed on our minds (mine and Mrs. Oldbear). Today, we are at a good place. How and why?

* We talked/talk about it and embrace it.
Mrs. Oldbear is very encouraging and never makes me feel,inadequate. Vice versa, she knows that any ED has nothing to do with her attraction to me. She's the whole package - inside and outside beauty and we are deeply in love. It is my custom to often compliment her on her dress and carriage, express my love verbally and physically - daily. She knows it's genuine, and relishes it.

* We read and listen/listened to good experience and advice, leaning heavily on knowledgeable/wise advice.
TMB is a wealth of info - folks here are experienced and knowledgeable - plus they are encouraging. My physician is a treasure trove of insight and we tap plenty of research and resources. Most important, we take biblical advice seriously and our MB reflects to joy of God's purpose and intent for marriage. This practically leads to always being generous with each other and patient with each other.

* We learned to laugh about my ED not fret about it.
One of our friends remarried after losing her DH (one of my best friends). She shared this piece of advice with Mrs. Oldbear given to the newly marrieds by their Dr. during pre-marital consultation. 'When everything works in the MB - enjoy every part of it and the moment. When either of you just can't make it, or things don't work - laugh about it. Making love will not be perfect every time, so accept it, and keep on practicing.' That's good advice for all of us. Most recently, Mrs. Oldbear and I have never laughed so much in our entire married life! :lol:

* We develop/developed techniques to overcome ED when it rears/reared up (opposite of the desired effect!).
Mrs. Oldbear is very generous and aware of my libido. From time to time, she provokes me with the way she looks and acts - and does so on purpose! And whenever she senses I'm a bit frisky, she'll take advantage of it by generously stopping everything to take care of me - a quick rendezvous in the shower, for example. This doesn't happen often, but her sensitivity and willing spirit satisfies both of us, and encourages me. We also have taken to 'she comes first.' That way, I can fully focus on her and then she focuses on me. It works quite effectively for both of us, removing any angst to try to work on each other and ourselves at the same time.

* We determined not to use ED medication. [For those using an ED medication, you are commended and respected. We just decided to not use it given side effects and potential dependency. It's what all of us do - weigh the pros and cons. Not a right or wrong decision.]

The final thought is that perfection in LMing, for us at least, is over blown. We enjoy a little firecracker and a star burst as much as the grand finale boom. More often than not, we enjoy a remarkable display of fireworks from a little pop, a surprising cluster of beauty, and climatic finish. However, we've also learned to love the fizzles.

ED is grounded in physical maladies, to be certain, but the mind is a magnificent mechanism, so any and all means to ease the mind and accept what is, helps immensely.

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby txtwindad » Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:07 am

I've looked back over your posts, but I'm not sure I caught everything. A few issues for you to consider.

First of all, I find it highly unlikely that your husband actually has psychogenic ED. You've already said his T levels were on the low end. I suspect there is at least a partial physical component to his ED. The prevailing medical thought in previous decades was that if you could achieve an erection in your sleep or ever then the system works and your problem must be mental. This is completely wrong and has caused enormous damage to men over the decades. They know now that the erectile system isn't the kind of thing that works or it doesn't. Reduced blood flow will allow partial erections or even full erections for periods of time. That's not to say that there isn't a mental component to it as well. The two can work together to create havoc. So, don't look on ED meds as something he really doesn't need. It is likely that he will always need them at least from time to time.

Second, from your posts there seems to be some real relationship issues that need to be addressed. You haven't gotten in to this too much, but you have made some remarks that make this pretty obvious. And your relationship issues are going to compound whatever ED issues are there. So, I really would recommend that you get into some couples counseling and start working on the underlying relationship issues.

Third, the underlying medical issues can likely be improved. I had ED appear in my late 40s. My T levels were low normal too. I had my family physician treat the T levels and they improved, but the ED persisted. But, when I started using a hormone specialist and she got my hormones under control (a very complex set of problems that takes time to get right). Once my hormones were in good shape, the ED all but disappeared. It only rarely shows up now.

Fourth, ED meds are fantastic for helping a man to get past performance anxiety. There is no need to a man to become dependent on them. I don't have any experience with Viagra, my ED drug was Cialis. So, I'll talk about that one. I found that a very low dose of Cialis worked great for me. It was to be taken daily and I did that for a few months. But as my hormone levels were being corrected, I wanted to try getting off the Cialis. It stays in your system for 3 days. If you take it daily the level in your bloodstream is higher than if you just take it for one day. I began to taper it off. I took it every other day for a time. Then once every three days. I kept doing that for a time and then stopped taking it all together. I still keep it on hand. I've had a time or two when the ED returns and I'll go back on the Cialis for a week or so and then discontinue it. It helps to make sure I don't add that performance anxiety to whatever underlying blood flow issues are there.

Hopefully that will be helpful to you. I don't think you're going to have any success unless he really wants to get this fixed though. And that requires working on the relationship issues.
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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby ledgemoor » Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:24 am

confused_wife20s wrote:Hi Squarepants, yep his number came out at 9 on a scale that went from 8 to 25, so low normal. They wouldn't treat him as said potential risk of infertility and personality changes outweighed benefits.


That is REALLY low. About 275 ng/dL if I figure correctly. That's about where I was, and had great difficulty with sex or masturbating. At 700 ng/dl (25 nmol/l) I can go twice a day no problem. I'm in my mid-50s.

The risk of testosterone supplementation is way overblown. If administered in conservative doses, there are NO side effects. My testicles have not shrunk. My personality has not changed. If anything I am more even-tempered. We are not concerned about fertility, so that is an area of testosterone supplementation I am not knowledgeable about, but I do know it can be managed. Whatever ill effects that can be caused by too much testosterone will generally fix themselves when you go off it or go to a lower dose.

Testosterone does so much more than allow a guy to perform sexually. His overall health will be better. He will lose weight. He will sleep better.

Please educate yourself on testosterone supplementation, and reconsider it.

BTW, I really don't think this is all in his head. A normal guy will get horny after a few days. He will get erections very easily, and will have to ejaculate REGARDLESS, just as sure as he has to pee every so often.
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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby ophelia » Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:37 pm

^^^^^THIS!

Your dh's T levels are extremely low and could be the source of all of his issues.

My dh began to have ED and lose interest in sex in his late twenties. He too would tell me that there wasn't a problem. He had no concept of what reality was. That's what low T does to you. I just got through reading through your whole thread and my heart breaks for you. I have no doubt that low testosterone is your husband's problem. The attitudes and physical problems, overweight despite exercise, bad sleep patterns, the blaming of everything on stress, lack of motivation, depression, minimizing your needs, no longer believing that an active sex life is normal.....it ALL adds up to low T.

I know it's hard to read all this because you have already been to the specialists and they told you that low T is not the problem. That means that getting help for your dh is going to be that much harder. I get it. I had to spend months finding a doctor who would actually not say that dh's T levels were "normal". (they were 191ng/dl at age 33) He even had a doctor tell him that he had numbers his mother would be proud of. :roll: Maybe his mother would be proud but his wife sure wasn't. :x Then it was another couple months before I found a doctor who would treat him. Then I had to drag him to those appointments and be present for all of them.

So, dh has now been on T therapy for two years. Ask me if I think it was worth it. Ask me if he has had any of those scary side effects you hear so much about. Treatment saved our marriage! I have my husband back. Please don't waste another year trying to be okay with what is clearly wrong. There has to be a way for you to find real help for your husband.
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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby confused_wife20s » Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:03 am

Nvr2late, thanks for the reply. Yes, he gets either bored or distracted, saying 'hmm sorry I just keep thinking about work/ jobs in the house I need to do', etc. and I can't get into it. This can be even when we haven't ML for 3 weeks. It makes me feel so undesirable and boring. I've tried somany things to spice it up for him and that seems to make him less interested. However, when he uses a viagra he can get into it and doesn't get bored and can finish, so this is why I think it's ED.

As for the doing it wrong, he expects me to do some kind of superhuman acrobatic manouevre to get from one position to another within the 2 seconds he can keep it up, so that he can penetrate. Usually I'm too slow to get in position.

We have talked more recently and I've told him how the whole complaiming about side effects makes me feel bad and we need to find a better solution. He's agreed we should try a lower dose and that although he takes the meds for me, they do make things easier by having a physical effect. I think that's his way of grudgingly admitting he needs them. Yay! Getting somewhere with the comnmunication at last :)

Oldbear, thankyou for sharing. That's lovely and an amazing strategy and I wish we could have been more like that. I guess with us we've nit been expecting perfection every time anyway though, it would just be nice if things worked kind of ok more often than rarely ...!

Txtwindad, Ledgemoor, Ophelia, thanks and I agree with you, the low T must have some sort of effect, am wondering if it's worse when he's stressed and now he's overweight as heard these things can lower T levels. Maybe we should just accept he'll need ED meds sometimes and not worry about trying to wean him off them. It's not really possible to talk to DH about the possibility of Low T because as soon as he starts to suspect there may be a physical problem the psychological side gets 10x worse and he may lose interest altogether. He may also become extremely angry and hurt by my suggestions he has a problem. I can never seem to do the right thing! These sort of occurrences are what damage our relationship and add to my depression and anxiety.

Our relationship problems have all been to do with ED, no others underlying. DH did say we can go to counseling whenever I wish as he will do anything to help our marriage :) he said let's try and talk it out ourselves first though and find solutions as the. most important thing to him is my happiness. So we'll give this a go and see how we get on.

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby ophelia » Sat Jun 07, 2014 1:04 pm

confusedwife_20s wrote:Txtwindad, Ledgemoor, Ophelia, thanks and I agree with you, the low T must have some sort of effect, am wondering if it's worse when he's stressed and now he's overweight as heard these things can lower T levels.

Hormonal problems lead to a lot of chicken or egg type questions. Sure his weight and stress could be effecting his T levels or his T levels could be causing the weight gain and his stress response to be inappropriate.
It's not really possible to talk to DH about the possibility of Low T because as soon as he starts to suspect there may be a physical problem the psychological side gets 10x worse and he may lose interest altogether. He may also become extremely angry and hurt by my suggestions he has a problem. I can never seem to do the right thing! These sort of occurrences are what damage our relationship and add to my depression and anxiety.

Our relationship problems have all been to do with ED, no others underlying. DH did say we can go to counseling whenever I wish as he will do anything to help our marriage :) he said let's try and talk it out ourselves first though and find solutions as the. most important thing to him is my happiness. So we'll give this a go and see how we get on.

Do you realize that these two quotes do not make sense together? He apparently is not willing to do anything to make you happy if it means there is something physically wrong with him. There is something wrong with him. You know this. It sounds to me that he is placating you by agreeing to go to counseling (haven't you done that before?) but first you should try to figure it out on your own. Hate to tell you this but you two have been trying to figure this out for years now without success. He is not interested in really doing anything helpful for your marriage. This is classic low drive, apathetic behavior. In all this time you have gone from PIV once a week to, what, once a month? When it gets to once a year will you still be happy dealing with this his way?
Yes, he gets either bored or distracted, saying 'hmm sorry I just keep thinking about work/ jobs in the house I need to do', etc. and I can't get into it. This can be even when we haven't ML for 3 weeks.

This is because he has no drive. Testosterone would give him a sex drive.
However, when he uses a viagra he can get into it and doesn't get bored and can finish, so this is why I think it's ED.
ED is a symptom not the disease. ED is a symptom of low T. When he uses Viagra he is able to finish because the drug is forcing blood to his penis which forces sensation, which leads to enough arousal to do so. He's not bored because he is now aroused enough to stay focused. I'm glad Viagra is helpful but it is a Band-Aid solution. It is not the cure that you need.

I want to encourage you to fight for your husband and your marriage. Even if it means fighting him. Whatever the root problem is, you need to get to the bottom of it. I personally don't believe that it is psychological. Well, the root isn't anyway. I could be wrong but since we do know that he has low T, please reconsider putting down your sword on that issue.
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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby ledgemoor » Sat Jun 07, 2014 4:45 pm

Ophelia took the words out of my mouth :D. I was going to say it is a Catch-22 situation. Low testosterone causes weight gain and weight gain causes low testosterone.

I know, it sucks to admit that there is something wrong with you, for your WIFE to in effect question your manhood, and to finally realize that you have to get your manhood out of a bottle. I've been there. There is a mental component to sexual arousal and performance, and for him to mentally go thru this process will likely make things worse for little a while. But burying your heads in the sand is not helping in the long run.

There is a lot more to being a man than testosterone -- character, etc. (be sure to compliment him in any area related to manhood that you can sincerely do so!). And facing up to reality. Once he acknowledges the challenge he faces, you two can then deal with it constructively as Mr. & Mrs. OldBear are doing.

He says he is willing to do anything for the marriage, so insist that he get his testosterone taken care of. Really, it's no big deal. It really isn't much different than taking vitamins. One little injection per week, and in two or three months he will be a new man.

Trust me, he will thank you! He will sleep better, feel less stressed, lose weight, and have more energy. He won't have problems getting an erection most of the time. He will enjoy the simple pleasures of a man's life like waking up with an erection [mod edit]

Once you get him to agree, it is best that YOU make the appointment. The best way to avoid procrastination or picking out yet another doctor who will tell him he is fine. When you get to that stage, we can help you find someone.

Praying!


OldBear wrote:* We determined not to use ED medication. [For those using an ED medication, you are commended and respected. We just decided to not use it given side effects and potential dependency. It's what all of us do - weigh the pros and cons. Not a right or wrong decision.]

I just wanted say that testosterone is not really an ED medication. (I realize that you didn't say that it was, just clarifying for others' sake). I didn't want to take Viagra etc. either. My philosophy is that drugs are great on a short-term basis to cure a problem, but not something that I want to take on a long-term basis if it can be avoided.

Testosterone is a natural bodily chemical. My body doesn't make enough even for a guy my age, so I take a little extra. No big deal. I have had no side effects, and am not addicted to it. When we go away over the weekend when I normally shoot, rather than bring the syringes etc., I just skip a dose.

I'm glad you & Mrs. have found something that works. Indeed your counsel is wise for anyone regardless of what their situation is. None of us will ever be 18 again, at least on this earth! But you don't have to be suffering with ED and the other effects of low testosterone.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby confused_wife20s » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:29 am

Ophelia and Ledgemoor, thanks. Yes I'm pretty sure a lot of the issue is that his T level is low
normal. The question is what to do about all this at the moment and what will best help us both and our marriage in the long term. At the moment neither of is have the emotional strength to go through the process of looking into testing and treatment. Also, here in the UK the approach seems to be to avoid T treatment if possible at the moment, while more research into the potential risks is done. It may become an option in the future. For now the advice from medical professionals is to change. lifestyle factors which may contribute, such as stress and being overweight. etc. Also just recently my dh has identified a root cause of the psychological issues (thebrain retraining he received in his youth). Now I understand this, it is helping me feel less responsible.for his issues, which is starting to help us mend our relationship and is allowing more constructive communication on the issue. I think DH's case is a complicated one, being a combination of the psychological issues, low T and performanatce anxiety! I really love my DH and until. another. option becomes available for T treatment I can accept that ML is a special treat for s couple. of times a month and we'll have lots of hugs and snuggles in between. A good recent development is that he now let's me initiate and suggest using a pill if I want PIV, so we are getting to s good compromise.

One thing I'm a bit confused about is the suggestion that he is getting aroused by taking the ED meds. I was under the impression he has to first feel desire and arousal for them to work (see comment by CandC320 earlier). I think maybe they are helping him maintain the original arousal by their physical effect removing anxiety and boosting confidence, therefore helping him relax which favourable arousal. I have read that if T is too low and there is no desire them viagra can't work. DH's borderline T corresponds to him only desiring ML 2 x per month and viagra allows him to get round the performance anxiety for those occasions. It's not the sex life I would have chosen, but I can definitely settle for this and be ok.

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby CandC320 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:38 am

Confused,
Yes, the ED meds do not create an erection in someone who is not initially aroused. Mainly they allow for better blood flow to the penis and inhibit the blood from flowing out until ejaculation. If there is some psychological or mental block or a lack of arousal, the ED meds will not work.

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby txtwindad » Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:16 am

I don't believe that ^^^ statement is quite right. These drugs all work by relaxing the smooth muscles and allowing greater blood flow into the penis (actually all blood flow is increased). It does not work by inhibiting the blood flow out of the penis (at least according to my reading on the topic). You body is set up to do that naturally.

Normally in order for the an erection to happen, he has to be sexually stimulated. Be that physically or mentally. The brain has to tell the body to start the cascade effect that results in an erection. This also happens during REM sleep. A man with normal blood flow or on an ED drug that is still in his system will usually have an erection off and on during REM sleep.

It sounds to me like it is possible for Viagra to be blocked by certain types of psychological issues. But usually this is not the case.

Just as a side note, there is discussion about putting most men and women on a low dose of Viagra or Cialis if they have an increased risk of heart attack. Much like they recommend a baby aspirin today. The increased blood flow is beneficial for much more than just erections.
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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby Lippy0902 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:34 am

I am a diabetic as of Nov and I am 31. ED has reared it's ugly head the last few months. It is much like how people who have lost limbs have phantom feelings. A "muscle" that you have reliably reached for since you were a young teenager "and at that age "flexes" when you don't want it to) is gone. It is completely emasculating and terrifying. I don't mind getting my manhood out of a bottle so that I can please DW. However, due to expense, I think we need to work on communication and flexibility for when PIV isn't going to happen.

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby Dale » Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:02 pm

txtwindad wrote:Just as a side note, there is discussion about putting most men and women on a low dose of Viagra or Cialis if they have an increased risk of heart attack. Much like they recommend a baby aspirin today. The increased blood flow is beneficial for much more than just erections.


I can't find anything about this, txtwindad. Do you have any reliable links as sources for this? Just curious...

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby ledgemoor » Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:10 pm

Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby txtwindad » Mon Jun 09, 2014 1:40 pm

I'll try and dig it up again, Dale. It wasn't a current recommendation, at least not yet.
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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby ophelia » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:23 pm

confusedwife_20s wrote:One thing I'm a bit confused about is the suggestion that he is getting aroused by taking the ED meds. I was under the impression he has to first feel desire and arousal for them to work (see comment by CandC320 earlier). I think maybe they are helping him maintain the original arousal by their physical effect removing anxiety and boosting confidence, therefore helping him relax which favourable arousal. I have read that if T is too low and there is no desire them viagra can't work. I guess DH's T I'd borderline

It's not that he has to feel desire, he has to start the cascade effect of arousal. If you two decide to have sex and he has little desire for it, yet someone starts physically stimulating him, it's still possible for his body to start the process. He may not succeed in finishing though. Engorging the penis with blood does increase sensation which increases arousal.

My dh used to suffer from frequent ED. It was caused by low T. He never took Viagra or the like for it. At one point we were depending quite heavily on penis rings. After he began treatment, the ED disappeared. Testosterone provided what he needed physically and mentally because his whole perspective about sex changed dramatically. The lights gradually came back on. He's not a raging sex maniac BTW. His dose is pretty low and his numbers are still considered low but they have doubled.
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Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby txtwindad » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:50 pm

Dale, I'm finding it hard to find an original source for this. Here is a quote that is all over the internet and is what I read earlier today. I'm not having any luck finding the original source for it though.

The one thing most people know about Viagra and its cohorts is that they are not supposed to be used by men who take nitroglycerin, a common medication for heart patients that also dilates the blood vessels. But ask around. That little piece of knowledge has translated into "Viagra is bad if you have a heart condition."

Not so, says Arthur S. Agatston, MD, a cardiologist and associate professor of medicine at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine and Prevention editorial advisory board member. In fact, Dr. Agatston says, because Viagra keeps the blood vessels from becoming "sticky" and helps blood flow through them smoothly, not just in the penis but throughout the body, in the future, many of us—women included—may end up taking some small amount of Viagra daily, the way we take baby aspirin, which has the same nonsticking effect on blood itself.


I found it in one published paper, as well, but I don't think it is a credible source. I'll dig around some more as time allows.
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Date of your marriage (past or future): March 19th, 2005
Gender: Male

Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby Lippy0902 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 6:40 pm

For both arousal was still "the trigger", but being aroused was never the problem. Cialis was a long lasting med, and I think Viagra was short-term, but allowed the "random" erections of adolescence to come back. Maybe that is what your DH was experiencing?

confused_wife20s
Double
Posts: 56
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 1:44 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): October 22nd, 2007
Gender: Female

Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby confused_wife20s » Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:54 am

I vaguely remember from my reading that the meds have 2 effects, the first to do with relaxing the smooth muscle and opening the blood vessels and the second to inhibit the chemicals which cause erection to break down. Both of these greatly help when the man's anxiety is causing constricted arteries and releasing chemicals to break down the erection as part of fight or flight response .....or something. like that....?! :o

ledgemoor
Under the stars
Posts: 3019
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:31 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 3rd, 1982
Gender: Male

Re: How to stop need ED meds for psychological ED - any advi

Postby ledgemoor » Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:17 pm

Confused_Wife20:

Here in the US there seems to be a real phobia about testosterone too. It is way more popular than it was a few years ago, but still is not the standard of care. One problem is that TRT takes a lot of work and patience on both the part of the physician and patient. It is easier just to prescribe Viagra or whatever and the problem is seemingly solved within a matter of hours. Plus, there is no big pharma money promoting testosterone.

Anyway, there are things you can do on your own that will increase his testosterone levels -- probably not enough to solve the problem, but it will help. And while not likely, these things may solve the problem.

Start taking 50mg of zinc & 2mg of copper daily. This will slow the conversion of testosterone to estrogen. Also DIM
http://www.swansonvitamins.com/natures- ... e-120-caps
Hopefully you can find a UK source.

Take 4000IU of vitamin D daily. Vitamin D deficiency is epidemic in temperate latitudes. Some guys report that fish oil solved their ED problems.

DHEA, a building block of testosterone, is something to consider. You can get too much of it, and while some people just take it. It is available OTC here, so it can't be too dangerous I guess. I was tested and my DHEA was fine. DW was low so she takes some. I forget how much but I can ask her.

Try L-Citrulline. It won't affect testosterone that I am aware of, but gets converted to L-Arginine, which affects nitrous oxide release. I take 3 grams daily -- it helps me get erections a little easier, makes them a little firmer, and helps make more preejaculate. I wasn't really having problems before I started taking it, but it helps, and the main reason I take it is to help with muscle soreness from bicycling. It really helps me with that!
http://boards.themarriagebed.com/viewto ... 23&t=59724

If he can manage stress, get more exercise, and lose weight, that will definitely help.

At any rate, be patient. It took me a month of testosterone injections to notice any improvement, and 2 - 3 months for the problem to be solved. And now after about 4 years, things are still improving a bit.

Now I understand this, it is helping me feel less responsible for his issues, which is starting to help us mend our relationship and is allowing more constructive communication on the issue.... I really love my DH and until another option becomes available for T treatment I can accept that ML is a special treat for s couple. of times a month and we'll have lots of hugs and snuggles in between. A good recent development is that he now let's me initiate and suggest using a pill if I want PIV, so we are getting to s good compromise.

This is a good attitude. Don't ever let him blame you for his ED issues. It's a medical condition, plain and simple. And he will never be 18 again, regardless of what you do. Aging is something all couples have to deal with.

But please do keep TRT in mind. It sounds like you are going to get on track without it, but those other changes in your lifestyle and relationship will make TRT work all that much better.

You will both be in my prayers.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)


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