A question for the more experienced

Erectile disfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed orgasm, etc.
junebug76
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A question for the more experienced

Postby junebug76 » Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:36 am

I'm newly married and wanted to get some advice on whether our situation is normal or my husband should have a checkup to rule out any health issues. My husband is in his early 30's. In order to get something close to a full erection, he needs long periods of continuous focused physical stimulation to his penis. Naked kissing and grinding doesn't do too much for his erection (though he does enjoy it). Fast and intense manual stimulation can usually get him 80+% hard, but this immediately begins to wane if we shift focus to something else. Sometimes we are unable to get him hard enough for intercourse, other times he is able to enter with less than a full erection and is able to stay in, get a fuller erection inside and then finish. This is the case whether it's been half a day or several weeks since he's orgasmed.

He doesn't watch porn and masturbated infrequently before marriage. We didn't have sex or do any heavy petting before marriage. He does have a strong interest and drive for sex and for physical affection. No issues with diabetes or high blood pressure, no medications, no other problems that we know of. He has a bit of a tummy (really not much though), and he runs and walks regularly.

Anyway, the situation is definitely workable, and we are both able to enjoy our intimacy. I don't want to stir up trouble where there's none, but I'm also surprised that it takes this much effort when he is still fairly young. I'm not experienced in these things though, so maybe this can be normal at his age. I'd love some perspective on whether this is a non issue or something that should be checked out.

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SeekingChange
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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby SeekingChange » Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:06 am

At the minimum, get his testosterone checked. It sounds like low T to me.
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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby txtwindad » Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:35 am

He needs a good and thorough checkup including testing of hormone levels. I agree that low T is a likely culprit, but erection problems are often an early warning sign for circulatory problems. Early 30s is very young for low T problems that aren't coupled with significant health issues and or heavy porn use.

Also, are you satisfied that it is not a porn and masturbation problem. I know you said something in the OP. But porn problems are widespread among Christian men, and lying about it is just as widespread. I don't want to make you mistrust him. But if you have any suspicions about this, you need to get some specific advice.
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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby SquarePants » Thu Jun 23, 2016 9:50 am

I'd strongly suggest a doctor's visit. ED is often an indicator of an underlying medical condition. It's it's low testosterone, then this needs to be addressed for reasons other than erectile performance. Low testosterone is bad for a variety of other reasons. If he has circulation issues, this this could be a indicator of future heart issues if not addressed. He could have a combination of both, and testosterone treatment with excercise could improve many things for him.

How are his energy levels? Does he snore? Does he currently use a CPAP machine?

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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby junebug76 » Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:44 pm

I'm sure it's not a porn issue - he's very honest with me and has told me that's never been an issue for him. I suppose it's possible that his body got used to expecting a certain type of stimulation through masturbation and now that's the only thing that works for him... Though masturbation has been an infrequent thing for him - maybe about once a month leading up to our wedding and none since.

I suppose he could have low testosterone, though his interest in sex seems good - we don't have sex during my period or fertile time, so he does take some breaks, but when we can have sex, he's usually interested every day and the one initiating.

His energy levels are pretty good, he runs most days and is always up for strenuous hiking, etc. He doesn't snore or use a CPAP machine. Weight is good, maybe a very little bit of extra padding around his middle, but he's within a healthy weight range. No other signs of circulation issues, but I guess it's worth checking out that and the testosterone levels. It's just that he doesn't like going to the doctor and I think he'd feel like I'm making a big deal out of it. As I said, things are working out for us for the most part in this area, so I don't want to make it a problem if it's not. But from what I gather, this isn't typical for a 31 year old and is worth looking into from the perspective of his overall health?

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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby SquarePants » Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:00 pm

junebug76 wrote: But from what I gather, this isn't typical for a 31 year old and is worth looking into from the perspective of his overall health?
Absolutely.

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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby ledgemoor » Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:10 pm

junebug76 wrote:This is the case whether it's been half a day or several weeks since he's orgasmed.
If you're SURE he isn't masturbating on the QT or having wet dreams, he needs to get checked out. This isn't normal. He ought to need an orgasm at least every few days. The longest I've ever gone without is 2 weeks, and I was in agony.
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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby Unfulfilled » Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:46 pm

^^^

Was that mental agony,nor actual physical pain?

I am 50 year old man, and while my desire and urge increases after about 2 days, I have never once in my entire life experienced any physical pain of any sort no matter how long it has been since last ejaculation.

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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby ledgemoor » Fri Jun 24, 2016 5:04 pm

Actual physical pain. When my testosterone was low, my body kept making semen, but it was difficult to ejaculate.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby junebug76 » Sat Jun 25, 2016 3:14 am

Well, I brought it up to him, and as I kind of anticipated, he thinks I am overreacting to suggest a checkup, and is unwilling to consider it at this point. I tried to be gentle and matter of fact, but I think he may have felt defensive. It's frustrating, and now I'm a bit worried about his health, but he says this is just how he is and he doesn't have a problem with it, so I shouldn't make it into one. Thanks everyone for your advice. I guess I'll have to just give the topic a break for now and see how things go.

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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby Vanna » Sat Jun 25, 2016 7:58 am

At risk of sounding like a paid ad on these ED threads... Lol ::al (I'm not)

I got hubby the book The Hardness Factor. It's a great book on the topic and written by a man for men, so it addresses things in guy speak making it about the bigger picture and maximizing sexual health. It's informative and we had good results using it. Even if your hubby won't read it, you can and then pass on interesting points. There are quite a few natural/health things that you can incorporate into your lives together that increase hardness and performance.

Improving sexual health isn't as "threatening" a topic as "erectile dysfunction".
After 28 years and six kids, through the good and bad, by the grace of God, things keep getting better and better. ::wed

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Re: A question for the more experienced

Postby be64 » Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:05 pm

Unfulfilled wrote:I have never once in my entire life experienced any physical pain of any sort no matter how long it has been since last ejaculation.

Not ejaculating frequently gives me testicular pain. I will add the the symptoms presented by the OP are not normal for a man in his early thirties. It more normal for a man in his early fifties. I'd get it checked out.
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