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PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 12:50 pm
by New Found Hope
Hi all so I have a sort of an anatomy question. I tried googling this, but I'm not sure what I'm looking for. As anyone who reads my previous posts knows I have pretty serious PE. However, in the past few months my wife and I have decided to make love specifically for the purpose of possibility of her getting pregnant. Since we are aware of my PE issues, she didn't want to "get into it" because she knew it would be over quickly. However, while I was in a Missionary Position, I did not feel the pressure of PE and it was actually quite humorous (because PE almost always happens)

At first I thought it was all mental (no pressure on ejaculation so I was pressure free), however, my wife said it was because of her position. Her legs were flat...I asked her to show me. She then pulled her legs into the classic fetal sex position while I was on top and my arousal level went from a 4 to pretty much 110.

My question is what exactly happened? Does anyone know what exactly within the female anatomy caused this? It was not just a mental thing, Based on this, I'm pretty sure that my PE is caused by something on me being oversensitive (maybe my glans). Knowing what is possibly going on physically inside of her anatomy, that is colliding with mine might help me focus on overcoming this.

Anyone know what exactly might cause this increased sensation?

Re: (Possibly Wrong Location) PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 12:54 pm
by SeekingChange
I am not sure I have the answer, but you are going deeper, and therefore you could be hitting the cervix, or sliding beside/around it.

Re: PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 1:17 pm
by ledgemoor
I think it has to do with tightening of the PC muscles. The tightest position for us his wife on top with her knees tucked under her.

I just thought of an experiment that you could try to verify this. Enter her and have her do kegel exercises with her legs extended. Then do them with her legs folded. My guess is that you will feel the contractions more with her legs extended because the muscles are looser and have more room to contract.

By the way why does it matter how quickly you orgasm with respect to conception? I have a feeling I am about to learn something new about sex!

Re: PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 10:50 am
by New Found Hope
Thanks for responding ledgemoor! I am pretty sure you are onto something with the PC Muscles vs. where her legs are. I asked her about her leg position and she let me know it was more than that. She advised she was indeed tightening her PC Muscles at a certain point. So I guess that mystery is solved! :lol:

You asked about why it matters how quickly I orgasm. Well, in one sense it doesn't matter, but since I have struggled with pretty severe lifelong PE, there have been times where I am barely inside of her before I ejaculate. She has stated during this time she some times feels dirty (in a bad way), like I am just using her to release myself, and then I feel guilt for my PE, etc. We've had that convo many times and her feelings have improved. However also because of the fact I have PE, if the sex is for conception then if she is not "into" it, then I can focus on improving my PE by going longer, which will help when we ML normally. Hope that makes sense :D

Re: (Possibly Wrong Location) PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 10:52 am
by New Found Hope
SeekingChange wrote:I am not sure I have the answer, but you are going deeper, and therefore you could be hitting the cervix, or sliding beside/around it.


Thanks for replying SeekingChange. I believe it closer to what ledgemoor mentioned about the PC muscles. Possibly the cervix also too. I do know that my glans is oversensitive. Hopefully this new info will help me improve

Re: PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 12:12 pm
by SeekingChange
Glad you figured things out. Maybe you can use that new found information and you and your wife can use it for your benefit in the future.

Re: PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:57 am
by New Found Hope
SeekingChange wrote:Glad you figured things out. Maybe you can use that new found information and you and your wife can use it for your benefit in the future.


That is the hope!!

Re: PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 12:03 pm
by ledgemoor
New Found Hope:

Yeah, I thought I've always been pretty hair-trigger myself.

You may be more normal than you think.

I've done a good bit of reading on this over the years, and they have relaxed the definition of PE a good bit. It used to be that PE was defined as not being able to last until the woman is satisfied. Well, for my DW that would be forever. She doesn't get enough clitoral stimulation from PIV to have an orgasm. In the past few years she has been having fantastic second orgasms from PIV, but the first is always from manual stimulation.

Now, according to Wikipedia, PE is defined as lasting less than 15 seconds or a minute, depending on who you talk to. Typically, men can go from four to eight minutes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premature_ejaculation

You read here about couples who can go for 20 minutes and the husband can control when he ejaculates :mrgreen:. You also read about couples where they have to stop and wipe off their natural lubrication so that the guy can get enough friction to orgasm. Not us! I am not circumcised, DW is a petite Oriental gal, and according to the charts I am a bit on the large side. I'm sure none of this helps. Every couple is different.

There is no getting around the fact that ejaculation is an autonomic response. I've never heard a guy say he can force ejaculation at will or hold it in until he wants to release it. If we've had sex recently (I'm not about to explode :D), and DW just lies there, I can pace myself and go forever. But if we are doing it for her enjoyment, she has to move. I've asked here if there is any guy who could prevent ejaculation if he were super-aroused, his wife had a death-grip on his penis, and is writhing around. I have not had any takers.

Frequent sex is the best thing you can do for PE -- not ideal for getting pregnant I realize. I masturbated before starting our honeymoon to give myself more control. We didn't succeed at getting it in that day, so she gave me a hand job. The next morning I got it in without making a mess outside her, but just barely. But the next time, later that day, we were able to be together for a minute or two. I am a lot better now (most of the time!), but would like to be able to last longer.

Kegel exercises help. It allows the tension to build to a higher level before you go over the edge. Just get your PC muscles in shape. Don't try to hold it in. That is a sure way to climax. It only adds 15 seconds or so at least with me, but what a glorious 15 seconds they are!

Age helps too. When she has hers I have mine -- can't help it. But a couple times lately I have lasted thru her orgasm. It's great to enjoy hers to completion rather than explode the second she starts.

And most of all -- the reason I posted this -- is that if you put your problem in perspective or find out that you in fact don't have a PE problem, it makes it easier to last longer. You are going with your bodies flow and not fighting it.

She has stated during this time she some times feels dirty (in a bad way), like I am just using her to release myself ....

Glad you have talked about this and she is coming around. My DW has been pretty good about accommodating my higher drive throughout most of our marriage. But like every other guy, I have heard "all you want me for is my body", or "all you think about is sex". I've told her things like yes, when I feel deprived I do want your body. The emphasis being on "your". It's not just physical -- it's emotional. I love you and that's why I want to make love with YOU. Even if it were OK with you and God, I wouldn't want anyone else. The book For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn does a good job at explaining this to women.

I also told her that when she wants sex, it is a big production and takes a long time. So much so that even if we did it every day for me and once every two weeks for her, I would still be sacrificing more of my time taking care of her than she would of me. But here's what I don't get. I don't care how much of my time she wants having sex. I ENJOY it. Very much. Can't she enjoy taking care of me? It isn't unpleasant or difficult. Even if she doesn't enjoy it, it's only 5 minutes out of her day. Ok, 6 after I mastered my PE .

Re: PE and Position of DW During LM

Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:15 pm
by SLS
Another thing you might consider is incorporating more standing positions. At least for me a standing position requires the most amount of stimulation to get me to orgasm.