jokerman wrote:Schnarch is one of the few authors who says yes, the "loves to have sex but never initiates" mindset is indeed less than optimal. The spouse who waits for things to happen is not fully in tune with his or her desire. It is "safer" to go along with the HD spouse's initiation than to stick one's neck out and be vulnerable and transparent.
I had a discussion about this with a buddy of mine. DW is one who "loves to have sex but never initiates".
She is responsive in the extreme. As in multi-orgasmic. She seems to have a limitless capacity is this regard.
What was pointed out to me that this may actually be a blessing from God.
Imagine if my wife was a woman who loved initiating, and had a sex drive in proportion to her capacity to Orgasm.
What would happen if I had to go on a trip away from her for a couple of weeks? What if I couldn't keep up with her sexually?
How much of that could she take before her eye started to wander? Perhaps her not being an initiator is God's way of protecting our marriage?