How often do men really need to ejaculate?

What science can tell us about sex.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Deelmo » Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:30 am

sammie wrote:Can a man seriously go a year without ejaculating (partner or solo)? Especially if he is a woman watcher/flirt and has a past filled with porn and masturbation? I would really love to hear thoughts on this one!


Absolute, positively YES. I did. I was porn addict for almost 9 years. Quit cold-turkey with the help of God. No sex, no masturbation, no nothing (a little bit of temptation but not much) for 2 years. (and then I got married) I have been "clean" sexually for more than 34 years. Not saying that I might not fail today or tomorrow but It can be done. Keep strong in the Word. Pray daily, hourly, constantly.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby txtwindad » Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:39 am

Can he go a year? Sure. Is it likely? No. Why do you ask? It sounds like you doubt what someone told you.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby sammie » Sun Sep 02, 2012 4:36 pm

I have turned my attention towards myself and healing. I am mostly at peace and no sense of urgency anymore. I do have times when it comes back to me and I will indulge in coming to the boards in hopes of support and enlightenment. I saw this and just had to join in the conversation. I guess this could fit in many different categories...
Last edited by sammie on Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby rediron » Wed Oct 10, 2012 5:41 pm

hi gang,
There is an old drag racing axiom which may apply here:


IF SOME IS GOOD, MORE IS BETTER, AND TOO MUCH IS JUST ENOUGH.
rediron
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby stringfellow » Wed Apr 23, 2014 7:41 pm

I believe that if I did not ejaculate for a year I would go stark raving crazy,I'm not sure that it's possible FOR ME
I will be the first to admit to being cranky after 3 or 4 days without sex.then I get bitter and angry.
My biggest fear is that I'll become a bitter,angry old man
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby gorf321 » Thu Apr 24, 2014 5:54 am

Physical need? Once every 3 to 4 days.
Longer than that and I do start to experience irritability and discomfort.

Emotional and psychological need? Several times a day.

Particularly if it comes from IC. There is just little that emotionally
and psychologically completes a man like ejaculating into his DW's vagina.
Something about the total acceptance conveyed in that act, I think.

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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby CandC320 » Thu Apr 24, 2014 10:09 am

At my age, every five or six days is good.

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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby OldBear » Thu Apr 24, 2014 8:41 pm

There may be two questions here.

How often do men desire to ejaculate?

How often do men need to ejaculate?

Desire, from my perspective, may be more the verb that most of us are referencing in the posts. For example, when I was younger, I desired to ejaculate far more often than at the age of 60+. In my younger days, every day sex with my DW was perfect, and if we couldn't ML (when Aunt Flo visited) I would often masturbate with her blessing. Now I'm good with once a week (we have a Friday night LMing date every week - rarely miss) and sometimes twice a week (usually my DW offers to MB me if she knows my desire is at a peak).

However, the need, from my experience, to ejaculate is a function of biological reality. As a pre-teen and into my late teens, I experienced my fair share of wet dreams. Wet dreams, generally, occur as a function of a biological need to expel ejaculate. During my married life (all 40+ years) I've probably had a wet dream less than 5 times, no doubt, because my desire to ejaculate in TMB with my DW satiated any needy, biological urge.

As I've aged, the frequency of my desire to ejaculate has clearly diminished. Instead, I now need to do so, from time to time. Here's why. Based on my urologist's counsel after prostate surgery, frequent sex ( namely expelling ejaculate) is a healthful activity and he encouraged me to be active. Now, a few posts have questioned the voracity of the healthful benefit for a man to ejaculate, although science and biology support the healthful benefit (I trust the credibility of my urologist and well-researched studies).

Granted, as the the OP shared, a man can refrain from and restrain the desire to ejaculate for long periods of time, a year or more, but that does not negate the healthful biological benefit or necessity of ejaculation. For me, I ejaculate with my DW because we (she and I) deeply desire it. I also ejaculate through masturbation in celebration of my love for my DW because I desire to do so, and I also ejaculate because I need to do so. In fact, there have been times in the past few years that I have masturbated in order to gain the healthful benefit for my prostate health.

Incidentally, because my desire is much lower than normal, about a month ago, my DW and I missed a Friday night due to my traveling and I was too lazy to masturbate for about two weeks. Late in that two week period, I awoke to that damp, cold pajama teenage feeling of a wet dream; evidence that I needed to ejaculate even though I hadn't desired to do so for two weeks. That was the 1st wet dream that I've had in many years, an indication of a biological need.

This question or rather these two questions deserve answers that are equally valid across individuals and our unique experiences.

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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby padsnd » Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:32 am

OldBear,

I agree it really is two questions. I don't think the second question (the one asked by the OPs subject) is a valid question though. From a scriptural standpoint, the question is moot.

If the person is unmarried, the question becomes one of lust. How much is too much? Any. It has nothing to do with the ejaculation. It has everything to do with the lust--even if ejaculation doesn't happen.

If the man is married, there are only two people who can have a say in that. Both of them are required by 1 Cor 7 to take the opposite approach. The only allowance for limiting is when both independently (absent of coercion) decide for a brief period of prayer and fasting (and fasting puts the brevity into perspective).


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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Deelmo » Fri Apr 25, 2014 8:35 am

OldBear,

Great Answer. And yes, there are two questions.

My urologist, who happens to be a friend of mine, told me there is no need to masturbate. The body will take of itself - nocturnal emissions. As you found out by surprise a couple of weeks ago. As for the studies on the prostate - he also said that what is made public is not the whole story. What the media reported to the public was 'more than 20 a month for prostate health'. That very same report also said less than four - even zero - had the very same health benefits. The very same.

For those recovery porn addicts - the re-boot program involves NO masturbation. When I read about this, I said a 'thank you, Jesus'. The Lord gave me this answer to my prayers more than 30 years ago. It takes science a long time to catch with the Lord!!!

My DW has been very ill quite a few times during our marriage. Once when I was only 35 and considered myself to still be a young man. There was no sex for seven months due to her illness. During the first month I had a couple of wet dreams, then they stopped. I didn't feel any of the emotional swings that others have mentioned.

Due to my DW's current illness, I will be going into a season of celibacy. Since I am not a 'young bear' :wink: anymore, I wonder if I'll be having wet dreams again. Ummmmmmm. God will provide.

Thanks for all the answers. I appreciate hearing others opinions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least, 10 being the greatest) are you normal? I am a 1. And who's scale am I using? My wife's, of course!

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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby ledgemoor » Sat Apr 26, 2014 12:11 pm

padsnd wrote:If the person is unmarried, the question becomes one of lust. How much is too much? Any. It has nothing to do with the ejaculation. It has everything to do with the lust--even if ejaculation doesn't happen.

But scripture doesn't say anything about it being wrong for a single person to lust for another single person. Most people apply Jesus' statement about lusting after a woman amounts to committing adultery (note He doesn't say fornication) to single people, but that is overreaching, IMO, and placing an impossible burden on many single men.

Not everyone is going to have nocturnal emissions. I have hand only three in my lifetime. They weren't because I had gone a while without sex or masturbating. The dreams that accompanied them were way more morally disturbing than anything I might have thought about while masturbating.

Sleep is next to impossible when I need relief. If I wait too long for relief, I go from uncomfortable to downright sore.

I really don't see how any normal man can go a year or longer without ejaculation. Either they are having it and are not aware of it, semen is not being created, or the mechanism that stores it in the seminal vesicles is not working. In the latter two cases, their "ability" is due to a bodily defect, and should not be taken as something to strive for.

All of our other bodily subsystems work on a use-it-or-lose-it basis. I don't see how our sexual functions could be any different.

Deelmo, why not accept whatever your wife can provide during her illness? At the very least you can look at her while taking care of yourself. That provides SOME emotional connectness.
Last edited by ledgemoor on Sat Apr 26, 2014 2:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby sd595 » Sat Apr 26, 2014 1:08 pm

I agree with pretty much everything that ledgemoor said, and my personal experience is very similar.

Not ejaculating would cause me great difficulty in focusing in life on all that is important. At day 1.5 I am feeling ready, at day 2 the push gets quote a bit stronger, at day 2.5+ I'm feeling uncomfortable. Somewhere between 2 and 2.5 my sleeping if affected to where I wake up and can't get back to sleep.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby padsnd » Sat Apr 26, 2014 6:21 pm

Ledgemoor,

You make the assumption that scripture says it must be that the man or the woman is married because Jesus likens it to adultery. He never says that either are married. He simply says it is equivalent to adultery.

A single person doesn't have to lust. That is why Paul told those who burn with passion to marry. We always hear people say redirect your thoughts before you lust to your spouse. Most of Proverbs is paraphrased in that statement. Paul solves the issue for singles when he says, "If you burn...get married." Sadly, our society has been warped to think that a HD young person following Paul's advice of finding a mate to solve that issue is someone marrying for the wrong reasons. Note: This does not mean find the first person with opposite sexual organs and say, "I do." We are given other instructions on what type of individual to marry, but we are told to marry to solve that issue. Sadly, our Christian society has thrown out scripture and said, "Use this as a place to try our self-control" when Paul's instructions could be paraphrased to say, "Hey, this is one place where you shouldn't play with fire and try to beat this. God already provided you an escape--marriage."


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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby sd595 » Sat Apr 26, 2014 7:18 pm

padsnd wrote:You make the assumption that scripture says it must be that the man or the woman is married because Jesus likens it to adultery. He never says that either are married. He simply says it is equivalent to adultery.


Nowhere in the text does it say anything about "equivalent" to, it specifically says "committed adultery with her in his heart.". As God doesn't change, I don't think that all of a sudden God is going to redefine adultery, it makes no sense. Jesus even starts out by saying you have heard "do not commit adultery". Clearly He was talking about *adultery*, which in the context of this example would be a husband stealing another man's wife. The word translated as woman also means young wife nearly half of the time and given adultery is being discussed *should have been* translated as wife imho. So the first thing here is that the behavior, or heart condition being discussed is one that desires another man's wife, and imho the sin begins when one that has made a decision to go after another man's wife (failing the temptation not to). The word lust means strong desire and is also used positively in the NT. The concept of sinning in ones heart again imho requires a decision for we know that being tempted and not giving into the temptation is clearly not sin.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby ledgemoor » Sat Apr 26, 2014 7:23 pm

padsnd wrote:You make the assumption that scripture says it must be that the man or the woman is married because Jesus likens it to adultery. He never says that either are married. He simply says it is equivalent to adultery.

True. But my opinion is reasonable -- single people can't commit adultery. And if two single people lusting for each other is in fact equivalent to adultery, they are committing a more serious sin by lusting than going ahead and having sex. Admittedly Jesus was probably using hyperbole. No one would argue that if a married person is going to lust, actually having sex is no worse.

A single person doesn't have to lust. That is why Paul told those who burn with passion to marry....

I agree wholeheartedly that marrying for sex is fine. Otherwise, just be friends :D. But isn't the premarital burning in fact lust?
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Deelmo » Mon Apr 28, 2014 12:04 am

ledgemoor wrote:


I really don't see how any normal man can go a year or longer without ejaculation. Either they are having it and are not aware of it, semen is not being created, or the mechanism that stores it in the seminal vesicles is not working. In the latter two cases, their "ability" is due to a bodily defect, and should not be taken as something to strive for.

All of our other bodily subsystems work on a use-it-or-lose-it basis. I don't see how our sexual functions could be any different.

Deelmo, why not accept whatever your wife can provide during her illness? At the very least you can look at her while taking care of yourself. That provides SOME emotional connectness.


Question? How could a man be 'not aware' of having an ejaculation? I remember being aware of them (nocturnal emmissions) because they woke me up :oops: . But in a couple of months, they just stopped. I felt no pain or discomfort. That is, until I met my FW. Lots of temptation during our dating to masturbate, but I didn't. Perhaps I should have seen a doctor. But back then - no way was I going to talk about that.

As for taking what D can give me. Hand jobs have ceased because she doesn't have the strength in her arms anymore. Oral sex is very infrequent [mod edit] because she's developed an awful gag reflex. But as for masturbation, I just can't do it. A promise made to God. I can't go back on it. Hopefully, it will be the same for me as it was 35 years ago. A couple of night time thrills, and then no pain.

For me, my emotional connectness for DW doesn't come from sex.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby OldBear » Mon Apr 28, 2014 6:37 am

Deelmo, you are to be respected for your commitment to not masturbate. One question, though. Many women need to self-stimulate their clitoris to O during PIV or apart from PIV in TMB. In foreplay, touching oneself is common. Although you are committed to your 35 year commitment to the Lord not to masturbate, are you equally uncomfortable to touch yourself during LMing?

.

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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby ledgemoor » Mon Apr 28, 2014 12:36 pm

Deelmo wrote:Question? How could a man be 'not aware' of having an ejaculation? I remember being aware of them (nocturnal emissions) because they woke me up :oops: . But in a couple of months, they just stopped. I felt no pain or discomfort. That is, until I met my FW. Lots of temptation during our dating to masturbate, but I didn't. Perhaps I should have seen a doctor. But back then - no way was I going to talk about that.

Well, I don't know really -- having a nocturnal emission and not waking up I guess. Like they say on the kids science show Beakman's World: "Everything goes somewhere."

As for taking what D can give me. Hand jobs have ceased because she doesn't have the strength in her arms anymore. Oral sex is very infrequent [mod edit] because she's developed an awful gag reflex.


A woman does not have to take the entire penis into her mouth when giving oral sex. [mod edit] There are other female body parts that you can have sex with -- between her breasts or buttocks, or even against her leg.

But as for masturbation, I just can't do it. A promise made to God. I can't go back on it.

Ok. Are you Catholic? If so then I understand. If not, do the reasons you had not to masturbate still exist, especially if you do it in the presence of your wife? What you need to ask yourself is does God still WANT you to keep your promise?

For me, my emotional connectedness for DW doesn't come from sex.

No, sex isn't the only way. But it is a part of being married. Without it something is missing.

[mod edit]
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Deelmo » Mon Apr 28, 2014 9:40 pm

OldBear wrote:Deelmo, you are to be respected for your commitment to not masturbate. One question, though. Many women need to self-stimulate their clitoris to O during PIV or apart from PIV in TMB. In foreplay, touching oneself is common. Although you are committed to your 35 year commitment to the Lord not to masturbate, are you equally uncomfortable to touch yourself during LMing?

.


My DW does not self-stimulate. I do it for her :D . And she does it for me :D That's what we call mutual masturbation - she does me, I do her (preferably at the same time :D ) Neither one of us are uncomfortable with that. Your questions, am I 'uncomfortable' touching myself. I guess I hadn't thought about that in a long time. But, yes, I am. In a sexual way. Now in a playful way like teasing her with Mr. Winkie - I'm not. I think I need both hands when making love for her pleasure, not mine. After all, I'm making love to her, not myself :mrgreen: .

I admit to having a very rigid view of self masturbation. I think MB for me would be like alchohol to an EX acholholic. I'm better off not testing the limits in any way.
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Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Stumoo » Tue Apr 29, 2014 8:48 pm

This is interesting to me, as I am about to start having a LOT more orgasms (well, from what FW says, I should be!).

I gave up masturbation twice. Once at about age 20; I failed then. I was really put off by the strange and sometimes disturbing dreams that accompanied nocturnal emissions (which happened every 1-2 weeks). Second time I was about 25 and God really helped me then. I have masturbated a few times in the 3 years since, but hardly compulsively. Often these days a nocturnal emission is not accompanied by a weird/sexual dream. Well, anyway, I hope to not be having any wet dreams for a while (maybe when work takes me away from home for a few weeks).

I was intrigued by this bit: "When men engaged in a "ten-day depletion experience," ejaculating an average of 2.4 times per day, their sperm output remained below pre-depletion levels for more than five months."

I don't know how many I'll have over my honeymoon (but I might be counting. You know, for fun), but if we go 2-3 times a day I wont be back to normal for 5 months, assuming we slow down a bit afterwards. That's a weird thought :?


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