Us husbands after sex...

What science can tell us about sex.
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2pack
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Us husbands after sex...

Postby 2pack » Sat Dec 12, 2015 2:07 pm

So... last night we had a great time together and DW of 2P made mention of how affectionate I was being after we were finished. I didn't even notice I was being that way because it was just flowing naturally. It made me think of a thread I could swear was here but I can't find it. It seemed that someone posted something about the bonding chemical (oxytocin?) being released after orgasm in men.

I did some searches online but I couldn't find anything scientific. I did find this which was good...

For many men, sexual contact opens up a gateway to their soul. Like turning on a spigot of running water, they suddenly get in touch with raw feelings, the virtues of tenderness and the need to depend on another human being for warmth and safety. Men become softer and more human in that they gain access to a wider variety of feelings, thoughts and emotions. Moving, consistent sex turns their world upside down. Their heart inside out. Their love for life and wife bubble up from a deep well of feelings they often wall off, becoming clearer like a camera lens bringing its target into focus.


I like this but this doesn't say WHY. Does anyone remember that thread or if there was one?
I'm a moth flyin' into the light of it's doom - You wrap me up in your love cocoon...

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seeking perspective
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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby seeking perspective » Sat Dec 12, 2015 2:21 pm

I remember several conversations here about oxytocin.

Here is a blog post that helped me understand it better: http://www.oysterbed7.com/why-sex/.
You turned my wailing into dancing . . .
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SeekingChange
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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby SeekingChange » Sat Dec 12, 2015 2:28 pm

God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, find comfort, survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years...then she did something new.

My Story

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OldMarriedLady
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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby OldMarriedLady » Sat Dec 12, 2015 3:11 pm

"When you love them, they drive you crazy - because they know they can."
(From the 1987 movie "Moonstruck", written by John Patrick Shanley)

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2pack
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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby 2pack » Sun Dec 13, 2015 8:46 am

Thanks ladies! It was that Oysterbed blog I remembered. I thought it was a post.
I'm a moth flyin' into the light of it's doom - You wrap me up in your love cocoon...

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby Mortiki » Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:15 pm

Read about oxytocin. I do not know if I have too little, too much, right amount, or another situation entirely. The raves about the post sexual feelings of being happy as a clam did not apply for me at one time like suggested in the link. And still do not to some extent. For instance sex wakes me up does not calm me as if ready for sleep.
Cuddling and affection after is something I (we) never really engaged in after sex. But I forced this action eventually. That is to say I made it a part of our experience. By doing this it seemed we tapped into the benefits of the intimacy and sex discussed here associated with oxytocin possibly. By doing so our closeness post sex seems to allow the physical, processes trying to work to actually do their thing. Now it seems natural before it wasn't for me. Also seems more relaxing this way and not so much of a stimulant post as before we began cuddling.

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby C_Brown » Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:46 pm

In a more spiritual vein, I think in Genesis where it talks about God taking a rib from Adam to make Eve is a symbolic lesson that man is missing something and he needs the companionship of a woman to become whole.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby Wildflowerinjune » Tue Dec 15, 2015 2:42 pm

My DH is very near to a bear that's been shot with a tranquilizer dart. He isn't very physically affectionate but always snuggles after sex. Or rather he gets into a snuggling position and falls asleep. It's a sweet time with him as he's the dearest thing to me this side of heaven.

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby C_Brown » Tue Dec 15, 2015 4:07 pm

We are the opposite, I don't get sleepy at all but DW will doze off easily. She says I bring out the lazy side of her. We both love after sex cuddling.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby Redsman » Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:42 pm

2pack wrote:....Moving, consistent sex turns their world upside down. Their heart inside out. Their love for life and wife bubble up from a deep well of feelings they often wall off, becoming clearer like a camera lens bringing its target into focus.

This is definitely me. When my DW and I consistently have solid ml times, I feel like life is GOOD. My walk with Christ feels closer, and life has rose colored glasses on it almost. My depression almost feels like its gone.

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bigloop
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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby bigloop » Tue Dec 22, 2015 6:26 am

Oxytocin is released in men, but to a lesser degree than women. Research vasopressin - it has more effect on men from a "bonding" or "satiation" standpoint.

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Us husbands after sex...

Postby padsnd » Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:25 pm

Could you cite a source for ^^^ this? I've heard the opposite when talking about post O oxytocin release. Women see higher oxytocin at other times, but the bump from an O is not as great relative to baseline--according to the recent research I've heard.
padsnd

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby bigloop » Tue Dec 22, 2015 1:30 pm

Overall, oxytocin for women is more impactful than it is in men. It does serve as a bonding hormone in both. You are probably correct in that after orgasm oxt release in women may be less than what they get during arousal or other times. I was speaking more along the lines of how they respond to it overall compared to men.

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby padsnd » Tue Dec 22, 2015 5:11 pm

That still sounds backward. In men, the post O is one of the few truly bonding times. This is why I think most women refusers are very short-sighted. They experience many periods (including arousal, childbirth, breastfeeding, etc.) when oxytocin rushes happen and chemically-induced bonding moments exist, but for men, that period of chemical push for bonding really only happens at one time.


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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby Mortiki » Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:37 am

bigloop wrote:Overall, oxytocin for women is more impactful than it is in men. It does serve as a bonding hormone in both. You are probably correct in that after orgasm oxt release in women may be less than what they get during arousal or other times. I was speaking more along the lines of how they respond to it overall compared to men.


post O seems more impactful for the DW than myself. that is how our overall response to it is in my estimation. i maybe wrong or my bottom line not the case for others, but in general maybe an example of what bigloop is driving at. what ever gateway is opened with marital sex it seems the door opens more for the DW.

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby Leah » Wed Dec 23, 2015 3:48 pm

Jake slept two more hours this morning. I expect tonight he will be sound asleep well before 10.
Leah

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Re: Us husbands after sex...

Postby ledgemoor » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:59 pm

The textbook description of oxytocin is that it helps women bond with their babies. It does that for sure, but does much more. It is released by sexual stimulation and orgasm in both sexes.

DW has a prescription for oxytocin nasal spray. It helps her orgasm. Sucking her nipples seems to work just as well however.

I have experimented with the spray, and it definitely makes me feel more lovey-dovey towards her. I haven't read anywhere that sucking a guy's nipples has any effect, but in my experience, it does. It seems to be a learned response -- the more often we do it the better it is for me. I have always liked it, but after doing it more, the sensation and emotional response has become stronger. It takes at least several minutes of stimulation to experience the bonding feeling.
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