Game theory and sexual frequency

What science can tell us about sex.
Shorty
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Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby Shorty » Tue Feb 07, 2017 4:46 pm

Game theory: a well-known mathematical approach to analyzing conflict. John Gottman used game theory to analyze data from his Love Lab, and predicted divorce with over 90% accuracy. Here's what he says when applying the same approach to sexual frequency:

Whatever a couple's ritual for initiating sex, it's imperative that there be no negative consequences if the partner says "no."...My calculations determined that if Jim complains, sulks, or otherwise subjects Mary to a "negative payoff" whenever she declines his overtures, they end up having sex about once every three weeks. But if he actually rewards her "no" with a small positive payoff (perhaps he expresses understanding or asks what she would like to do), their rate soars to four times a week. Counterintuitive as it sounds, the results suggest that husbands who reward their wives for saying no will end up having a lot more sex!

-John Gottman, Ph.D, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 2015, page 235.

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OldBear
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Re: Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby OldBear » Tue Feb 07, 2017 5:36 pm

The ancient wisdom of Solomon is the QED of this contemporary research.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)
Proverbs 15:1

hotrod
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Re: Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby hotrod » Tue Feb 07, 2017 5:37 pm

Counterintuitive as it sounds, the results suggest that husbands who reward their wives for saying no will end up having a lot more sex!

-John Gottman, Ph.D, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 2015, page 235.


That's some pretty interesting information. Kind of like you will get more bees with honey than vinegar.

alaska bob
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Re: Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby alaska bob » Thu Feb 09, 2017 8:18 am

I find it a little hard to believe that this is all causation.

A spouse that has a satisfying sex life is much more likely to respond favorably to a denial. If you are having sex every three weeks, it seems a lot more likely to response to a denial negatively.

workerbee
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Re: Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby workerbee » Thu Feb 09, 2017 8:56 am

It's that negative feedback loop.

The answer is to just say yes.

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C_Brown
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Re: Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby C_Brown » Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:57 pm

To desire something, look forward to it with happy anticipation, and then have it denied to you is going to create some unhappy emotions. You can't love something and not care about it at the same time. How you express those feelings is important, attacking your spouse verbally or emotional arm twisting is not going to develop closeness.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

LiamJ
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Re: Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby LiamJ » Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:58 pm

OldBear wrote:The ancient wisdom of Solomon is the QED of this contemporary research.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)
Proverbs 15:1


With how many wives and concubines Solomon had, I take his wisdom with a grain of salt.

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poetess
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Re: Game theory and sexual frequency

Postby poetess » Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:15 pm

Liam, Solomon's wisdom is inspired truth. We aren't given a choice of deciding which authors of Scripture we like or respect (in terms of whether or not to respect what they have written), since all of it is from God.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!


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