Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy, for sleep and sex?

[Job29Man]

I've been trying to find help for my wife to get to sleep during more "normal hours" like 10 pm to 6 am-ish.

I've had a few threads on it here. I've gotten lots of suggestions. Hasn't worked so far. So my mind is going to other ideas. Recently I watched a few videos on hypnosis, and it got me to thinking.

Can hypnosis be used to help one to sleep better?

Can hypnosis be used to help women learn to "close out the worries" in their minds enough to relax, and not be distracted by them, so that they can relax and enjoy the sex more?

I'm mainly interested in comments based on real learning that any of you have done. Thanks!

[workerbee]

I have weird juju about hypnosis.
Seems like the dark arts, imho.

However given the recent nightmare that was my life Thur eve and Fri am, sleeping literally 45 min (then working a 14 hour+ shift) I might consider it, LoL!

I blame my hormones (46, likely perimenopausal) and DH snoring.

My emotions were also A COMPLETE MESS during this time and all thru Friday.

So yeah, I'll follow this thread and consider it.
Lack of sleep messes up our bodies, our mind, and I'm sure my soul and spiritual life.
It's hard to think correctly, much less renew your mind when you're functioning on little/no sleep.

[yard1]

My wife gave birth using post hypnotic suggestion, - the Doc didn't get there in time, thanks to the hypnosis, but the post hypnotic suggestions worked fine, minimal pain, happy birth. She stopped a lifelong habit of nail biting with hypnosis. It was all done by an M.D.,who used it in his Practice, many years ago.

[seeking perspective]

Have you looked at the article I linked in this post? I am a lifelong insomniac, with much of the problem due to my not being able to shut out the stuff going on in my head.

The only thing that has ever helped me even slightly was a progressive relaxation technique I learned years ago in a relaxation class. It helps my body and slows my mind somewhat--but it does not close all my open mental tabs for me. When I saw this article, I thought it was too simple to work--but it was worth a try. So I gave it a shot, using the word "rhino." I was asleep before I got to "h."

It isn't hypnosis, but like hypnosis, it uses the power of the mind to interrupt the worry/thought cycle.

I have been using the technique for a week now, and to my tremendous shock and relief, it has actually helped. Not only has it helped me fall asleep, I've found that when I wake up in the middle of the night (as I have always done), I don't awake as fully as I usually do. The few times I have woken all the way back up, I've been able to pick up with the next letter of that night's word and I fall asleep again fairly quickly.

Truly, this has been amazing to me. Even with my longtime insomnia aggravated by menopausal symptoms and stuffed-up sinuses, I am waking up earlier and more rested.

If your wife is interested, I'd be happy to share a bit more about how I use this technique.

[jude700]

My practice is to say my night prayers, perhaps even the second or third time. The first time would be during night chores, the second might be with DW, the last in bed and seldom finishes the first prayer or sentence. WHO WANTS A RHINO IN BED WITH THEM

[workerbee]

If your wife is interested, I'd be happy to share a bit more about how I use this technique.

I'm interested.

Could you elaborate?
I'm very interested in giving this a try and not very successful finding specifics on this online to apply.

TIA!

[seeking perspective]

Could you elaborate?
I'm very interested in giving this a try and not very successful finding specifics on this online to apply.

Here's what the article says to do:

To do the shuffle, people first imagine a word — that doesn't repeat any letters — as they're lying in bed.

Then they think up lists of words that start with each letter of the root word they chose.

So, for example, if someone picked "bird," they would come up with four lists of words starting with the letters B, I, R and D.

I use a method that helps me focus just a bit more on the process.

It's a little hard to describe, but I approach it alphabetically.

So take the word "rhino." Instead of just thinking of as many words as I can that start with R, I start working through words that start with RA, since A is the first vowel. With RA in mind, I then go through the alphabet to come up with the third letter. I get something like this: rabid, rabies, race, racism, radical, raffia, rage, rail, rake, random, etc. When I run out of RA--- words, I move to the next vowel, E. So I am thinking of words that start with RE, again working through the alphabet: read, ready, real, ream, reap, reaper, and so on. Then I go to RI---, RO---, and RU---.

What seems to help is that I am paying attention to three letter sequences at once: the first letter, the second letter, and the third letter. First, this requires me to focus, which helps distract me from the thoughts that typically are bouncing around the walls of my brains. Also, I don't even choose the word I will use (after "rhino," the next night I used "farm") until I am trying to get to sleep. One night, I fell asleep before I even picked a word.

Second, though, I think this helps me have a sense of order. One of the reasons I can't settle my mind down at night is that I am trying to make sense of things and figure out how it all fits together. I think about everything I did or didn't do during the day, and I worry about things where I don't know where we're headed. This method gives me a sense of things being in order, predictable, and where they belong. Everything is taken care of. One of the causes of my mind being unsettled, and this process seems to counteract that.

Does that make sense?

[Job29Man]

Yep this makes sense. Actually I saw that article on the internet the other day too. Good ideas!
I remember when I used to have a harder time falling asleep, I used to go through the entire process of building a pole barn in my mind. I almost never made it all the way to setting trusses for the roof before I would ZZZZzzzzzz!

Still interested in hypnosis experiences though ...

[workerbee]

Seeking Perspective, It does make sense, I will definitely try it.

Thank you.


Job, I think it's interesting to consider if it would be helpful to apply the general principle of "shutting off the brain" or closing the tabs for helping the wife to climax.
I see exactly what you are asking.

Wonder if there's a correlation between insomnia periods and difficult times climaxing?

[SeekingChange]

Does hypnosis not put ones mind in a trance-like state that would allow the enemy to enter in? I personally would go without sleep before dabbling in that kind of thing.

[poetess]

That's kinda my thought on hypnotism, that it's spiritually risky. It also doesn't work for a lot of people, and I can't quite picture how it works for anybody. (The hypnotist tells the person, "From now on, you will sleep soundly from 9:00 p.m. to 5:30 a.m. You are permitted one bathroom break, if required"?) I know that hypnotism doesn't really work the way it is portrayed in popular culture, but I've always thought I wouldn't go near anything of that sort any more than I'd go to a fortune teller.

[workerbee]

Well Seeking Perspective, it sure worked for me last night.
Drifted off while still on 1st letter, then woke - resumed with same letter and promptly fell asleep until hot flashes woke me up 3 times....but I fell back to sleep easily each time.

I am truly grateful for the information and will continue to use this method!
It really worked for me....my brain calmed down and rested.

Thank you!

[Unfulfilled]

Would the same technique or slightly modified (as we don't want them to black out to sleep) help a wife who's mind is cluttered with thoughts to rid those thoughts to help "close those mental tabs" to help her get into the mood for sex?

As distractive thoughts seem to prevent so many women from being able to fully engage in sex.

If someone could figure that out, it would help a lot of people and a lot of marriages!

[Leah]

My personal circadian rhythm for my whole life has been the same. If I go to bed about 11 or 12:00, I will usually sleep until about 6:30 or 7. If I go to bed at 10 (assuming I am tired and go to sleep) I will wake up at 3:30 or 4:00. I have lived in cities all my life, and in more than one time zone. I think this is my rhythm and it seems pretty pointless to fight it. I am available to Jake when he wants sex, then i get up and do other things until I am ready to sleep.

Being a Christian means I live a life of discipline. The Holy Spirit empowers me to make good decisions and I have freedom to mostly take control of my life and myself to be effective in the things I am called to do.

[Job29Man]

That's kinda my thought on hypnotism, that it's spiritually risky.... I've always thought I wouldn't go near anything of that sort any more than I'd go to a fortune teller.

Yup, that's pretty much Sarah's take on it too. I doubt she'd ever submit to standard hypnotism. But I'm learning more about it and I'm actually trying to explore the possibility of "self-hypnosis" or where I could "hypnotize" her, well not the real deal with a capital H maybe but hey, I can talk to her in a relaxing way and give her something to focus on, and I can make "suggestions" to her. So I'm interested.

[TJC]

My understanding of the trance state is that we all pretty much enter it all the time without being aware of it. To the hypnotist, anytime you become completely engrossed in anything to the point of shutting out everything else, you've entered a trance state. What you seem to be looking for is what they call conversational hypnosis. I have no direct experience with it as DW has the same fears as the other ladies here, however I have used subliminal message audio files for both myself and DW with measurably good results. In my view, it's simply a tool for achieving changes in one's life. It can be used to take every thought captive, or it can be used to take advantage of someone. Like most things in life it's not what you use, it's how you use it.

[Leah]

My mind will go into overdrive if I have not ticked off my list for the day. I break down tasks into manageable bites and when that bit is finished, it gets checked off. In addition to regular chores, I choose three things to accomplish today. Today they happen to be errands. Other days it might be paint a room, inventory of linen closet, and clear out email folders. Once I check the things off and make the next list, I can usually shut off the running video of everything else that seems to scream for attention.

[seeking perspective]

Given her views on hypnosis, I would think an entirely different approach might be better.

If you can give her something relaxing to focus on, you may not even need to offer suggestions. Consider finding a fiction book with a story that you both might enjoy, and read aloud to her at bedtime. It will pull her away from the thoughts in her head a bit.

When my kids were little, I used to read Goodnight, Moon to them every night. They began to associate bedtime reading in general, and Goodnight, Moon in particular, with sleep. The regular habit trained their minds and bodies to prepare for sleep. Eventually, they would fall asleep by the time I got to "and a red balloon" (third line of the book).

It's possible that something similar might work for your wife. If you tuck her in and then read aloud while holding her hand or caressing her hair, she will be focusing on your voice while her body begins to associate being in bed with you holding her hand and caressing her hair with relaxation and sleep. It might be worth trying for three weeks just to see if it helps her.

[poetess]

SP, would you mind e-mailing my husband and making that suggestion to him, too?

[seeking perspective]

Sure thing! Just let me know what book titles I can casually mention.