Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

What's available, do's and don'ts.
CSQ
Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:11 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): July 15th, 2017
Gender: Female

Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby CSQ » Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:58 pm

When DH and I got married in July, I was on the pill mainly to control my cycle because I had been experiencing miserable periods twice a month. Before that, I had been completely opposed to taking hormonal birth control, but something was clearly off-balance in my body and I didn't know what else to do to get it back to where it needed to be. Taking the pill then worked conveniently for BC once DH and I got married.

Fast forward to September: my face began to break out more than usual, I had gained a little bit of weight without changing anything in my diet or activity levels, and I had done more research on hormonal birth control and its potential side effects. Both DH and I came to the conclusion that HBC was not what we wanted to continue with in the future, and he told me I ought to try going off of it once he left for training in mid-Sept. to see how my body would react and figure out if there were any more natural ways to balance my hormones.

I'm probably still in flux at this point, but currently my cycles have remained normal and I have shed a few pounds (again, without changing much of anything else). The issue is that now, from a BC standpoint, DH and I will be reunited in about 11 days, and while it's all fine and dandy to go off the pill to see how my body would react when DH isn't around, we're going to need BC soon. We've discussed our options extensively and have settled on the Caya diaphragm w/ spermicide and condoms for good measure for the time being since it won't mess with my hormones and isn't invasive like an IUD would be.

I was just wondering if anyone could share their own experiences with diaphragms/similar methods of BC? I'd just like to know a little more of what to expect, since there's not much information out there due to it being a less popular form of BC. I've heard it can be inconvenient at times and that spermicide can cause irritation in some people. DH is also a little worried that it'll bother him if he can feel it. Could I also potentially feel it during sex? Has the diaphragm ever gotten stuck? Is there anything else we should keep in mind?

User avatar
Job29Man
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 8049
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:52 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 2nd, 1980
Gender: Male
Location: Hobby Farm, USA

Re: Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby Job29Man » Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:51 am

CSQ wrote: I've heard it can be inconvenient at times and that spermicide can cause irritation in some people. DH is also a little worried that it'll bother him if he can feel it. Could I also potentially feel it during sex? Has the diaphragm ever gotten stuck? Is there anything else we should keep in mind?


We used the diaphragm as our only means of contraception to space our children a bit. At first we thought I'd insert it. After a few months, we decided that was not as good as her inserting it. At first we used spermicide, but that was irritating to her, so we discontinued that and it continued to work just fine.

She could feel it a bit at first, but less so the more we got into the act. The same for me. IMHO this is the single best solution for us. It was effective, did not block my sensations like a condom would, inexpensive, and contained no hormones. We only used it during the fertile time, and then went bareback during the rest of the month.
Wanting to become like Job, as described in the Bible, the book of Job chapter 29. Hence the screen name.

CSQ
Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:11 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): July 15th, 2017
Gender: Female

Re: Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby CSQ » Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:20 pm

That's good to hear that it can still be effective without spermicide. I'm not concerned with the insertion part; I'm sure it'll be similar to when I use my menstrual cup.

Job29Man wrote: At first we used spermicide, but that was irritating to her, so we discontinued that and it continued to work just fine.


Can you define "irritating?" Was it painful, burning, itchy, just uncomfortable?

Job29Man wrote: She could feel it a bit at first, but less so the more we got into the act. The same for me. IMHO this is the single best solution for us. It was effective, did not block my sensations like a condom would, inexpensive, and contained no hormones.


Did it ever block her sensations? Could y'all ever feel it move around?

I don't think we'll be going bareback much until we're ready to start having children, though the Lord is capable of providing them whenever he sees fit. My cycle hasn't been regular long enough for me to be fully confident in tracking my fertility. DH was already paranoid when I was on HBC. :lol:

ledgemoor
Under the stars
Posts: 3037
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:31 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 3rd, 1982
Gender: Male

Re: Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby ledgemoor » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:11 pm

We used a diaphragm on our honeymoon and for several years thereafter. They were very popular 35 years ago. They worked well.

They were made by Ortho, and came in sizes from 50mm to 100mm in diameter in 10mm steps IIRC. If they are the proper size, the woman should not feel it. For effectiveness reasons, doctors tended to err on the side of prescribing one that was too large. Couples were advised to budget for a second diaphragm if the first one was uncomfortable. DW was prescribed the second-smallest size made :D and it was comfortable right from the start. Caya and FemCap don't have so many size options, so I am not sure if the woman is not supposed to be able to feel those or not.

This looks a lot like the Ortho diaphragms and comes in closely-spaced sizes, and could be good if you aren't at the large or small end of the spectrum.
https://www.coopersurgical.com/Products ... -Diaphragm

I could not feel it at all.

DW wore it some before the honeymoon and had no problem inserting and removing it. I have never heard of one getting stuck or lost. After we got married I would often insert and remove it. Very easy to install -- just push it in and it pops into place. Removal was a small challenge. Diaphragms came with a plastic removal tool that you hooked up over the front of the rim, but we never used it. My index finger worked fine.

DW also became sensitive to the spermacide after a few years. She would get red and itchy. We discontinued diaphragm use because of that. I have heard other people claim that it works fine without contraceptive. There are no studies that I am aware of however. It certainly wouldn't be riskier than using nothing and would be a good addition to FAM. However, there is a natural alternative called ContraGel that is popular in Europe. https://buycontragel.com/ Some gals posted here about it in the past. Searching for it here will get you some hits, as recently as '16. Maybe you can contact them. You can order it on amazon.com btw/

The inconvenience factor isn't too bad. A complaint that people had back then was to be spontaneous, the woman had to insert it every evening or whenever she thought her husband would want it and may end up not having sex, so all that for nothing. You can insert it right before sex, but there was a several-hour limit on how long before you could insert it. We just put it in before we did it. No biggie, no more difficult or time-consuming than installing a condom. A huge plus of a diaphragm over a condom is that you don't have to stop in the middle of when things are getting heated to put it on like you do a condom. It has to be left in for several hours afterwards.

If you have a repeat performance before the permissible time to remove it, you add more spermacide outside the diaphragm using a plastic injector made for that purpose. Once we were fooling around and I felt the diaphragm in her vagina when I was fingering her. I figured she put it in in anticipation of having sex later, so I went for it. She "scolded" me afterwards for not using the diaphragm. I told her it was in her and thought she wanted sex. She didn't know it was in. We did it a couple days ago and forgot to take it out (that's how comfortable they can be). No pregnancy resulted.

The mess wasn't too bad. A little bit of spermacide run-out, but is not as much as natural secretions and lube. A used condom has a yuck factor for me. A used diaphragm, otoh, was a turn-on :D .

Normal spermacide tastes and smells horrible. We weren't doing oral sex then, but the advice was to wash the externals of the woman after inserting it. My guess is that with any tongue-in-vagina sex you could still taste it. They don't comment on the taste of the ContraGel. My guess is that it won't taste bad -- just a bit sour. Maybe someone else has tried it.

Anyway, aside from something permanent, I think the diaphragm is the best thing going. It would be a great surprise for your husband when he returns :D!
Last edited by ledgemoor on Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

User avatar
Job29Man
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 8049
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:52 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 2nd, 1980
Gender: Male
Location: Hobby Farm, USA

Re: Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby Job29Man » Mon Nov 27, 2017 4:51 pm

CSQ wrote:Can you define "irritating?" Was it painful, burning, itchy, just uncomfortable?
IIRC it was a slight itchiness.

CSQ wrote: it ever block her sensations? Could y'all ever feel it move around?
She didn't feel it much. It didn't bother her. Sometimes I could feel myself "bump into" the stiff ring of it and that bugged me, especially with deep thrusting at first, but as we got going more into the act it was less noticeable.
Wanting to become like Job, as described in the Bible, the book of Job chapter 29. Hence the screen name.

User avatar
C_Brown
Fell out of ...
Posts: 1331
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:08 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 17th, 1984
Gender: Male

Re: Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby C_Brown » Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:08 pm

We used one for a bit, but if I got really deep in I would get a friction burn in place you really don't want a friction burn. For us anything that had to be taken care of in the heat of the moment didn't work out too well. My wife has an IUD now, not for birth control, we are past that, but because she was getting super heavy and long periods. It wasn't a big deal to her having it put in.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

MrsG
Twin size
Posts: 32
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 8:37 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): February 1st, 2014
Gender: Female

Re: Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby MrsG » Tue Nov 28, 2017 8:22 pm

I charted my cycle with FAM and used a diaphragm for for 2 years to successfully avoid pregnancy. We love it. I started out with a spermicide I bought at a pharmacy (I had to have the pharmacist place an order because she literally didn’t know what it was) and had a reaction to it - it felt exactly like a UTI. Contragel works great.

CSQ
Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:11 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): July 15th, 2017
Gender: Female

Re: Thoughts on diaphragms from those who have used them

Postby CSQ » Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:48 pm

Thank you all for your helpful information! It's great to have a better idea of how this may work in practicality. I have my diaphragm now, and I also got the Contragel. The Caya is very comfortable, easy to insert, fits well, and I can't tell it's there when it's in. It's also very easy to remove because it is designed with a dimple for a finger to easily hook onto. I'm looking forward to finally seeing DH next week and putting it to its first use! I'm very hopeful that this will be a good choice for us.


Return to “Birth Control”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users