Pull out method for birth control

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Mn384aj
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Pull out method for birth control

Postby Mn384aj » Sat Jul 05, 2014 3:06 pm

Hello fellow TMBers,

I recently married and my wife and I have been learning a lot about sex and enjoying it. We have been married 4 months and were both virgins when we married.
In past weeks, my wife and I agreed to get her off the pill. (Reasons include and are not limited to her allergic reactions to several different pills attempted).
We accept the fact that this may increase the risk of pregnancy from PIV, and if God allows us to bear children, then we will be ready.
We use a fertility calendar and now I started pulling out before ejaculating. I have heard a lot about premature ejaculations and that some semen can come out before orgasm. We accept the fact that having kids is possible, but we're trying to wait if possible. I have been very careful so far, and I know that semen can live for several days in a woman, so I plan on pulling out on days that may be considered "safe", especially those that follow her period. Condums are also not a good alternative for us- we have tried several times and different types and do not react well to them either.
Do you have any suggestions or other helpful information regarding this topic? Is premature ejaculation a threat? Is anyone or anyone you know pregnant because of this method of birth control?
Thanks


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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby George B. » Sat Jul 05, 2014 3:53 pm

we did this for a number of years, and we never had any surprise pregnancies related to pulling out specifically. We charted extensively using the FAM method and a computer program from TCOYF. During her fertile times, I would pull out before ejaculation and then use a condom to finish. We had to shop around awhile to find condoms that worked for us, but I highly recommend them as it's more satisfying to finish inside. But depending on what your exact issues are, you may find it difficult to find the right condom. As far as sperm present before ejaculation, this is not the case, unless you've ejaculated recently and haven't urinated since. There is no sperm in pre-ejaculate fluid. I also recommend kegels to help you be aware of your impending orgasm and to be able to control it better.
Last edited by George B. on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby ledgemoor » Sat Jul 05, 2014 7:41 pm

As for premature ejaculation, yes, if you go before you pull out, then yeah, it would be a problem. I also notice that I can hover right at the edge of orgasm and leak some semen without having an actual orgasm.

Check out non-latex condoms, or better yet a silicone diaphragm. There is a thread here somewhere about someone who is using a nonoxyl-9-free spermicide.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby Princess_Bear » Sat Jul 05, 2014 11:15 pm

Congratulations on your recent marriage! :) I'll second George B.'s suggestion regarding TCOYF. Definitely worth the read for you as your wife drops the synthetic hormones. :)
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby C_Brown » Sun Jul 06, 2014 1:35 pm

Pulling out and avoiding fertile times is probably the form of birth control most likely to fail, and I think you miss some bonding when you pull out like that. I would say use a diaphragm, it feels the same as using nothing unlike with condoms.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby George B. » Sun Jul 06, 2014 10:33 pm

C_Brown wrote:Pulling out and avoiding fertile times is probably the form of birth control most likely to fail, and I think you miss some bonding when you pull out like that. I would say use a diaphragm, it feels the same as using nothing unlike with condoms.


the likelihood of failure depends completely on how well you track the wife's cycle and how well you stick to the program. I have lots of friends who use FAM, and those who've gotten pregnant did so because of a failure either in completely tracking the cycle or fudging on having unprotected sex during or close to fertile times.

I agree that pulling out can cause some missed bonding. Our solution during fertile times was to have sex bareback until I was close to ejaculation, then pause, put on a condom and finish. That worked very well for us for many years. I got to have the skin to skin contact and still finish inside her. During non-fertile times, we went bareback all the way, of course.
Last edited by George B. on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby Mn384aj » Sun Jul 13, 2014 9:17 pm

Thank you all for your replies. I do enjoy O inside her during her non-fertile time of month.
George B- I appreciate the comment on condoms. Those I have tried (trojan so far) are not working for me, I actually have lost erections while wearing these things every time. I can't feel anything when using condums and having PIV. I am all for using condoms, but so far I haven't had any success. I also am up for trying more types..... hopefully not 100 of them like you had to! :?

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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby Princess_Bear » Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:17 pm

Did you try putting a tiny (emphasis on tiny) amount of lube inside the condom before you put it on?
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby George B. » Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:28 pm

Mn384aj wrote:Thank you all for your replies. I do enjoy O inside her during her non-fertile time of month.
George B- I appreciate the comment on condoms. Those I have tried (trojan so far) are not working for me, I actually have lost erections while wearing these things every time. I can't feel anything when using condums and having PIV. I am all for using condoms, but so far I haven't had any success. I also am up for trying more types..... hopefully not 100 of them like you had to! :?


You should make sure you have the right size. You may want to also consider trying a different material. Trojan Lambskins and Lifestyle Skyn are both ultra-thin condoms. I would suggest buying a sampler online of different types or at least buying the ones I've suggested here and giving them a try. You can find them at most large supermarkets.
Last edited by George B. on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby alegria_joy » Mon Jul 14, 2014 7:21 am

ledgemoor wrote:As for premature ejaculation, yes, if you go before you pull out, then yeah, it would be a problem. I also notice that I can hover right at the edge of orgasm and leak some semen without having an actual orgasm.

Check out non-latex condoms, or better yet a silicone diaphragm. There is a thread here somewhere about someone who is using a nonoxyl-9-free spermicide.


I HIGHLY recommend a diaphragm as a better alternative to condoms. We had repeated problems with condoms falling off whenever there was a lull in DH's full erection (our PIV thrusting time is apparently a pretty long time, especially for newlyweds, so his size/hardness could vary a little before ejaculation) and we also don't like the feeling of something between us. I had a diaphragm but couldn't use it until I started using nonoxynol-9-free spermicide, because the nonoxynol-9 itself cause a painful reaction for me.

We didn't get pregnant from condom problems, but we certainly could have. The diaphragm was both more secure and more enjoyable for both of us. (I say "was" because now we're aiming for pregnancy...woohoo, unprotected sex all the time now! Love it. :D )

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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby Mn384aj » Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:26 pm

Princess_bear: great idea. I have not tried that but will do so.
George b: thanks for the suggestions. I didn't see these types at most stores, but I may not be going to the right store. Where do you get these?
To all others: diaphragm..... My wife probably knows better about this than I do. However she has minor vaginal pain during sex, I wonder if this would make it worse for her?


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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby ledgemoor » Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:29 pm

We didn't get pregnant from condom problems, but we certainly could have.

We had a pregnancy from cockpit error in condom usage. We had been separated about a month, and when we had sex the first time after that I didn't pull out. The condom came off inside her.
Last edited by ledgemoor on Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby ledgemoor » Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:34 pm

I seriously doubt that a diaphragm would make her sore. I don't see any way it could. It MIGHT actually help. If you use that instead of a condom, it would be skin on skin instead of skin on latex or whatever. Your natural preejaculate would add to her comfort, and if you are uncircumcised, the gliding action of your foreskin would work better without a condom.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby alegria_joy » Mon Jul 14, 2014 6:26 pm

I can't speak for all women, but the diaphragm itself had zero ill effects for us. Once it was in, I could barely tell it was there, and putting it in was not painful, though it was a little tricky (the darn things are springy!) Condoms occasionally caused friction or soreness for me, though in a couple of cases I think that was from them coming with their own spermicide. Nonoxynol-9 was a big problem for me and could cause irritation and burning that dried out my membranes and left me hurting for days, so while I recommend diaphragms, I also recommend Contragel Green or other natural spermicide alternatives. You have to order them from the UK or Canada, or from a source in the USA (there are top rated sellers on Ebay you can find) who has ordered them from the UK or Canada or wherever. The FDA has not cleared them to be sold in the USA, not because they're unsafe (they're not), but because they are not as strong as the nonoxynol-9 (detergent) based spermicides. (Nonoxynol-9 is a surfactant - a detergent - strong enough that you can use a tube of spermicide as a really great dishsoap. Seeing as how I can't use any kind of soap at all on my vulva/vaginal opening without drying my skin out painfully, it makes sense why having it up in my vagina/cervix was such an awful idea.)

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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby George B. » Mon Jul 14, 2014 7:52 pm

Mn384aj wrote:George b: thanks for the suggestions. I didn't see these types at most stores, but I may not be going to the right store. Where do you get these?


I've seen all the ones I've mentioned at most large chains, like Walmart, Target and of course most drugstore chains (Walgreens, CVS, etc.)

You can find condoms cheaper online but if you know what you want to try out and are wiling to buy a few, you can easily find most common types at those stores.
Last edited by George B. on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby FoxluvsBunny » Fri Oct 16, 2015 10:46 am

I want to revive this thread... i wonder what is the actual risk of getting pregnant from withdrawal. We were thinking of doing this yesterday, because we are having contraception issues. We use fertility awareness and a barrier at any potentially fertile time (from cycle day 5- 3 days post ovulation... we are very safe about it)... but the problem is. I am not the right shape/size, i've been told, for a diaphragm which we originally wanted (maybe that's changed since we started having intercourse- but i was fitted unsuccessfully 2x before wedding- i was not smart enough to ask the right question as to what about my anatomy made it not fit). Condoms make him not feel anything... and we aren't ready to open the door to a pregnancy... The sex that is really good for both of us we tend to have is on my period because we aren't protecting w/ a barrier and i actually am lubricated and have a sex drive (post O when he doesn't wear a condom I don't have the best sex drive- it drops after O). So yesterday we were thinking of ditching the condom in a semi-fertile time, and maybe doing withdrawal as it might fix some of our issues (we used to joke about the withdrawal method before we were married, and how stupid people must be to use it as it couldn't work but now we are thinking of using it)... but we are scared to get pregnant right now because we weren't careful. The internet has mixed things on whether [preejaculate] has sperm and if this method is safe. Anyone here actually get pregnant using withdrawal correctly?
Last edited by FoxluvsBunny on Fri Oct 16, 2015 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby George B. » Fri Oct 16, 2015 11:43 am

we used withdrawal correctly for a number of years without getting pregnant.

We were charting with FAM the whole time so we knew when her fertile times were and were VERY careful during those times. We were always very careful with the withdrawal method, too. We kind of used a bit of a twist on it. We wouldn't wait until right before ejaculation to withdraw, but considerably before that, when we knew we were ready for the final leg (so to speak) of our intercourse session and we were both ready for our orgasms. We'd then stop and I'd quickly put on a condom before finishing inside her. At that point, I was usually aroused enough that wearing a condom didn't make much of a difference.

My understanding from scientific papers I've seen on the internet is that there is no sperm in pre-ejaculate. However, you really have to be careful not to get too close to the edge before withdrawal, as it's possible for there to be a bit of semen ejaculated before the man is fully aware of it (like a pre-orgasm). For a man, doing kegels really helps with not only lasting longer, but also making him more aware of his sensations before orgasm, knowing exactly when he's about to ejaculate and also controlling it better.

All that is to say, withdrawal can really work, but you have to do it correctly. If you do it like we did it, your chances of becoming pregnant are quite low.
Last edited by George B. on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby ledgemoor » Fri Oct 16, 2015 12:15 pm

Hi Liz!

Wanna add that YOU doing Kegels will provide him with more stimulation, possibly allowing him to O with a condom. PIV will feel nicer for you too.

The biggest reliability problem with withdrawl, like condoms, is cockpit error. After 10 years of marriage, we were separated for a month. When she returned, I totally forgot to withdraw after O, and the condom came off in her, and she got pregnant.

Take care!
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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby MrsBouman » Fri Oct 16, 2015 12:46 pm

Just a note (kind of a downer considering your actual question) that being *very* safe with FAM actually means nothing unprotected starting from day 1 'til after ovulation. Most women are *probably* safe through a period. But you *can* ovulate early and the only way to completely guarantee you're safe is to use a barrier or avoid intercourse from cycle day 1 to three days past ovulation. Sorry, I don't remember exactly my source for reading this... It was either at fertility friend's website or TCOYF's website. It obviously depends on your own confidence in your cycle regularity as well.

As far as your actual question, we've never used withdrawal (too insecure about that for me), but have you tried the lamb skin condoms? They've never had enough decrease in sensation to cause problems for us. We generally use the aforementioned wait until he's close and then put the condom on method.

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Re: Pull out method for birth control

Postby George B. » Fri Oct 16, 2015 12:59 pm

^^ true on both counts based on our own experience--regarding tracking ovulation and making sure you know your cycle all the way through. To be on the safe side, use the computer program or website to track and track several cycles before going without protection.

Lambskin condoms are great. We used them for a while.
Last edited by George B. on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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