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Should condoms hurt?

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:10 pm
by Chrissy757
Hey! Thank you for reading, I really look forward to some help!
I've recently come off the pill and had a baby, and instead of going back on the pill DH and I have decided to use condoms. We tried condoms out years ago, but back then and even now I find they hurt me. It feels really rubby around the cervix and that rubby feeling turns into stabbing pains after a while. I assume it's that plastic bit at the top causing the trouble. We've tried different brands, use lots of lube, etc I am wondering if this happens to anyone else? Does anyone know what I can do to stop the pain?
I don't feel like sex with a condom should hurt like this, I've even wondered if I just have a strange anatomy or something. It makes me want to go on the pill again because sex was so much better but this will decrease my milk supply. Thank you in advance for your feedback!

Re: Should condoms hurt?

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:44 pm
by Leah
Does sex without a condom hurt? Does your doctor recommend physical therapy for pelvic strength. I'm at the other end of the spectrum, and I know they do physical therapy for pelvic strength both postpartum and well into menopause. I saw lots of new moms in the therapy center.

Re: Should condoms hurt?

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 8:56 am
by love2
Condoms hurt me but it's because they often create more friction especially if there are folds in the material by the base of the penis. However, this hurts me by the vaginal opening due to the friction. I haven't experienced the pain you are describing.

I THINK you can go on progesterone only birth control pills and breastfeed. If you have to see a doctor to get birth control you might want to bring up the pain during sex with condoms issue.

Maybe your cervix is extra sensitive after labor and delivery?

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Re: Should condoms hurt?

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:19 am
by Chrissy757
Thanks for your replies!
Without a condom it doesn't hurt (well just a bit as DH enters, even though he is so gentle), and yes I've been doing lots of pelvic floor exercises, DH even does them now too lol
I might chat with the doctor about the progesterone option, thank you for pointing me in that direction. I have had pain in the opening too. With or without a condom it's always hurt or I've felt a stretching pain as DH enters. The pain goes away when he exits and re-enters which is good, i must just need a bit of stretching out to begin with. I really thought having a baby would solve that problem lol BUT now that we use a condom it's like the inital stretchy pain in the entrance to the vagina goes away and almost immediately is followed by pain way up high - which I assume is from the rubbing of the plastic. Maybe I just have really sensitive lady bits! :|

Re: Should condoms hurt?

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 2:04 pm
by ledgemoor
Make sure you are well aroused before your husband enters. When you are aroused, the cervix moves back and up out of the way. Plus your natural lubrication will probably protect you better than anything you buy.

Consider a diaphragm for birth control. They provide the intimacy of skin to skin contact, and you don't have to stop in the heat of things to put them on like you do condoms. They work well and are non-hormonal.

Re: Should condoms hurt?

Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:45 am
by Chrissy757
Wow, thank you so much for that advice! I think you've helped me figure this out once and for all! Yay!

Since having a baby, sex has definitely been more rushed and at the end of the night when we are both tired. DH had a few days off so while DS was sleeping we went for it, and it didn't hurt at all! Every day we have done it in the day time while the baby is napping and we have both approached it feeling more awake but relaxed and therefore more aroused and I think it's made all the difference! We've also planned for it to happen rather than it being something we spring on one another right before bed, and that had helped me get into the mindset better.

I will definitely look into the diaphragm, thank you so much for your help!

Re: Should condoms hurt?

Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:51 am
by ledgemoor
You are most welcome. It is my privilege to help.