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Marrying for Companionship

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CTim
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by CTim »

SeekingChange wrote: Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:51 pm Would you (re)marry for companionship?

Would the possibility of a sexual relationship, or not, even if it's limited, make or break your decision?

Would your age matter on whether it's for companionship or not?

Do you believe it's a sin to marry for this reason, and not have an overtly sexual relationship?
Yes, but only if elderly.

At present, sex would be a major component of any premarital discussions. DW and I married relatively young and learned/developed/discovered our sexuality together over the years. The sex discussions we had before marriage were mostly hypothetical. Any remarriage at this point would be totally different as both parties would have greater understanding of sexpectations. Let's just say I'd have much higher expectations now based on both the good and bad I've experienced in my current marriage.

Yes, age would likely matter. I have no idea how long I'll be healthy enough, but I hope it's way off.

No, I don't think it would be a sin. We just had a widower at church who is well into his 80s remarry recently. His wife had pre-approved the remarriage before she died as she wanted someone to "look" after him. 😁
SeekingHer
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by SeekingHer »

Aren't all marriages for companionship regardless?

Wasn't that God's plan from the beginning when he said it's not good for man to be alone?

And, wasn't it God's plan from the beginning as well that the 2 would become 1 Flesh in sexual union in marriage?

Therefore I would say that there should always be some kind of physical & also sexual connection in all marriages, even if for some reason the couple cannot have PIV.

Isn't that the whole point of this website - "The Marriage Bed?"

Isn't the whole Biblical idea, that if we are married, we are to honor and keep the marriage bed pure and enjoy whatever kind of sexual connection we can, and physical connection we can, and emotional connection we can, as long as we're married, until we die?
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26 NIV
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Twue_Wuv
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by Twue_Wuv »

I would remarry for companionship only if I were quite old and I was wasn't getting it "up" anymore. But, at that point, I would probably stay single until I die. I would be content with being alone if sex weren't in the equation. But if I'm still experiencing a high drive, I would do my best to remarry for emotional and sexual connection.
Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
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SeekingChange
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by SeekingChange »

SeekingHer wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 7:05 am And, wasn't it God's plan from the beginning as well that the 2 would become 1 Flesh in sexual union in marriage?
So, does this mean your answer is no, you wouldn't marry just for companionship. 😉
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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newwifenewlife
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by newwifenewlife »

SeekingHer wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 7:05 am Aren't all marriages for companionship regardless?

Wasn't that God's plan from the beginning when he said it's not good for man to be alone?

And, wasn't it God's plan from the beginning as well that the 2 would become 1 Flesh in sexual union in marriage?
Yes, but I don’t recommend answering the reason you got married was sex. Trust me, it’s not the thing to say....or at least don’t put it first. :roll: Speaking for “a friend of mine” ;) who was dumb enough to speak what was on his mind since honesty is a good character quality...but a filter or word-crafting isn’t always his strong suit. ::rofl It was apparently not what his wife was needing to hear at that moment. :o ::rofl
SeekingHer
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by SeekingHer »

@Seeking Change, if I remarried, we would both touch each other sexually in whatever ways possible, even if I didn't have the ability to get erect or ejaculate, or if she had great pain putting anything at all in her vagina. Otherwise we're just close roommates enjoying life together, NOT a Married Couple.

It's a good thing you are married to me, so we can enjoy sexual connection with each other, until at least one of us dies. ;)
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26 NIV
MrMarried
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by MrMarried »

SeekingChange wrote: Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:51 pm Would you (re)marry for companionship?

Would the possibility of a sexual relationship, or not, even if it's limited, make or break your decision?

Would your age matter on whether it's for companionship or not?

Do you believe it's a sin to marry for this reason, and not have an overtly sexual relationship?
If I were not married (meaning had never married or were widowed), and if there would be sex, and the intention to faithfully love each other for life. She'd have to have the same faith, meet other criteria, and other aspects of our life would have to 'mesh' together well.
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Oldbear
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by Oldbear »

We’ve talked about it! The reality, at our age, is that within 10 to 15 years we may be a widow or widower.

First, we enjoy fabulous companionship, intimacy, and a sexual relationship. The sexual relationship has changed over time - creatively, quantity-wise, and quality-wise (of orgasm). Our intimacy - loving, caring, closeness, etc. - is at an all-time high. And we ‘like’ each other and deeply value and desire and need to be together for companionship.

Second, our answers would differ on ‘re-marriage’ in the event of either of our deaths.

I want Mrs. Oldbear to remarry - the right man! A man that would treat her like the queen that she is and deserves to be. A man that loves the Lord. A man that would fulfill her need for companionship and intimacy and sexually- in that order from a scale of 10 to 8 to 5. Mrs. Oldbear often says to me, “It took me 50 years to figure you out and to be compatible and happy. Do you think that I want to start all over?!!” She demurs on the notion of remarrying.

As I’ve aged, my answer to re-marrying if a widower, has changed from, ‘Yes, I’d like to find a Godly woman to meet my equal needs for companionship, intimacy, and sex” to “I’m not so sure!” If the right woman came along, I would first marry for companionship. Intimacy would be essential. Sex would be nice.
Irnmyk
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by Irnmyk »

@OldBear,

Because DW and I have often had this conversation, I read your post above out loud to her. While I was reading, she was sipping water, and when I read Mrs. Oldbear's statement in quotes above to her, she spewed water all across the room.

Her tag line is "I don't want to have to train another one." (I always assume that that must mean she thinks she has me trained....????)
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Hiswifeagain
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Re: Marrying for Companionship

Post by Hiswifeagain »

Oldbear wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 11:09 am

A man that loves the Lord. A man that would fulfill her need for companionship and intimacy and sexually- in that order from a scale of 10 to 8 to 5. ...........

I would first marry for companionship. Intimacy would be essential. Sex would be nice.
This is how I feel about it. Nicely stated Oldbear!
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15
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