Wedding Night 101, Advice to Brides

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
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Wedding Night 101, Advice to Brides

Postby pigweed » Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:13 pm

As others said this night takes a bit of planning and especially never plann to travel within 24 to 48 hours of the wedding itself if you want my advice. Actually the best thing to do is rent a romantic cabin or get away and just plan to be available to each other for learning about each other! It will be more fun than you think and less stressful than you think if you do a little planning. For the bride make sure your guy is okay with your plans and you ready for an early departure from the wedding. Start your wedding on time so that you can have lots of time for sexual enjoyment whether PIV sex happens or not before you are too tired. Bask in the newness and nearness and nakedness and just bond emotionally and flow together from there! Make sure you do some reading and discussing ahead of time but do not stress out about the details just plan on enjoying the wonder of total God blessed freedom and sexual enjoyment! :=)(=: kissing and light touching will get you ready for more and your own lube is the best but make sure you have a good lube along try it on yourself before that night! Coconut oil is the best but there are othersthat work and grapeseed oil is a close second. Do not buy commercial brands with chemicals in them! Buy organic!

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Re: Wedding Night 101, Advice to Brides

Postby girliegirl511 » Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:42 am

About a month- 2 weeks before the wedding, talk with each other about your expectations of the wedding night. I was more emotionally nervous and needed the reassurance of my fiancé that we would take it slow and just get to know each other. It can be pretty intimidating to go from a fairly PG form of touching to being fully naked and vulnerable with your husband. If you're a virgin and you're marrying a widow, like I did it was even more nerve wracking.

But we sat down several times and discussed what each other was feeling and our apprehensions. I told him what I needed from him emotionally to be ready. And he told me what he needed and from that time up until the wedding it was emotional foreplay. He mentally prepared me with sweet cards, gifts ect... I helped him by verbally letting him know I desired him(kept very strict boundaries) and wanted to spend the rest of my life sharing a bed.

So that's all before. The actual wedding night, choose a place where you'll be comfortable. Hotels gross me out and I didn't want to be laying naked on sheets that I haven't washed. So we had our wedding night in our own bedroom(remember he was a widow so he already had a home. But we did NOT live together before). You may be fine with hotels which is great! The point is pick a place that is comfortable.
Secondly, leave the reception at a decent time. We had an early evening wedding, but we were out by 8:56 :) Everyone knows what's going to happen that might anyway, so don't be embarrassed to leave! Eat, cut the cake, dance, pictures, make a few memories and LEAVE.
Third, take time to breathe. I needed time to process the few hours before, so I took a shower. Shave your legs again, it will help stop you from worrying about it later on in the night. Wash your face, I felt so much better with out all the heavy make up. After the shower I did apply little bit of concealer and mascara ;) Before the wedding go out shop for cologne and perfume with each other. Spritz a little on.
Fourth, wear something that is comfortable! Can you see a theme here?? I did ask my then fiancé if there was anything that he did NOT want to see me in for our wedding night and honeymoon. His response, "Nothing black, or hard to get off." Every guy is different but I was thankful for his answer. All of the really sexy lingerie comes after. But I needed something that didn't totally leave me vulnerable the first time he saw me. So find something soft, lacy, feminine. This is the most important night of your marriage. And if you're too nervous to come out of the bathroom in the outfit chosen with only the minimal amount of coverage, you might need to change.
Fifth, it's ok to just be naked together. That's why you leave the reception early, to take time to just caress and touch each other's naked bodies. Don't worry about PIV or if you have an orgasm, just learn where your beloved likes to be touched. I learned DH most sensitive spot is on his neck. So there was a lot of touching, caressing and playing. Massage all the aches and tense muscles that have built up over the weeks of planning a wedding.

Kiss each other!! You now have the freedom to kiss however long and passionate you want. Complete FREEDOM! So thag French kiss you've been dying to try/ figure out, GO FOR IT! The one place you always wanted to leave a kiss but couldn't? Well now you can. Kissing is erotic and can you ready for PIV.

Talk to each other. Whisper about your favorite moments. Hold him when he starts to cry again when remembering you waking down the aisle, cry together as you say your vows again. Write marriage bed vows and exchange them. We did this and put them in cards, gave them to each other before the ceremony but didn't open until we were in our bed. That was the most intimate thing we could do before actually consummating our marriage.

Sixth, don't be afraid of trial and error!! There is a lot of trial and error during the honeymoon. What position works best, the awkwardness of arranging limbs...But that's the fun part! Don't be afraid to LAUGH! There was lot of laughing and giggling during our honeymoon. I had no clue what I was doing and DH had to "re-learn" after a few years of celibacy...and that certain positions are harder to maneuver after 40 :lol: Poor thing

Seventh, discuss birth control options BEFORE the wedding night. Are you going on the pill, or using condoms? Is he responsible for getting the condoms?
Eighth, bring a honeymoon kit. Pack a small medicine bag with a few light pads in case you have some bleeding. Motrin and Tylenol for any pain. If you're nearing ovulation or period an orgasm can cause light cramps. I didn't know that but figured it out and thankfully was at home to get to those pain relievers. A washcloth(s) for a cold or warm compress for any soreness. There will be muscles that you didn't even know existed. The most loving thing was DH applying a warm cloth to my thighs and inner muscles. Lube, coconut oil is the best but if you're too nervous on applying or experimenting, research different lubes. Some work with condoms some don't. Have your GYN reccomenend some over the counter UTI mess and for a yeast infection. Even if you're both virgins there's always that possibility. And yeast infections are HORRIBLE alone, but for your honeymoon, be prepared is my motto

All that said, if I had to chooze 2 things over the 8 that I mentioned. It would be verbal foreplay and comfort. Find out what are your top 2 and his top 2 and a way to mesh them.

This pregnant lady is tired and baby girl finally stopped moving. I know what's like to marry an older man and have step sons. I know what it's like to be a virgin and your beloved is not. I know what it's like to be nervous about your appearance or worrying because you don't know how this adult "play time" works. This board will be a great source of comfort and advice! Don't be afraid to ask questions of any one and feel free to PM me. I don't have all the answers, but I can maybe relate to your feelings. Darn, baby is up again... If I'm awake DH needs to be too! :wink:
Moderators please forgive any misspellings!

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Re: Wedding Night 101, Advice to Brides

Postby Normalguy062302 » Mon Jan 04, 2016 1:13 pm

My advice is to not expect the Hollywood love scenes to happen, but also don't downplay it to where it's not important. How the bride approaches the time is vital. Most likely, unless you change before you leave you will need some help getting out of your dress. It's ok to tell him to wait until you're ready. Make sure you've got something sexy, yet romantic to wear. You don't want to do trashy on night one, and then surprise him with your outfit. You know he loves you but he's been waiting for the chance to see you...really see you. Give him that chance and enjoy it. The best way to please your man during LM is to enjoy it. Explore him too...don't be scared....just go for it!

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