First time encounters for the FH

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
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First time encounters for the FH

Postby God's Geek » Thu Jan 15, 2015 1:55 pm

Dbrown wrote:What do you mean by "generous"? I Have heard that term all over this website, but don't know what it means in a marriage context.

A generous spirit in TMB is a heart attitude that embraces giving to your spouse over and above what they actually ask for. Reaching out to meet their needs and wants whether or not your own are met.

It really is a reflection of how we as Christians are to reach out to the world around us. In love and heartfelt concern for our fellow humans.


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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby TheTigress » Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:03 am

Dbrown wrote:What do you mean by "generous"? I Have heard that term all over this website, but don't know what it means in a marriage context.

For us within our marriage being generous means thinking of the other person first. That doesn't negate your ability to ask for something for yourself but when both partners operate under this philosophy the marriage bed is great! When you are both seeking the ultimate pleasure of the other it is amazingly fulfilling. We haven't kept up this generosity at all times in our marriage and we are still newly weds. When we both realized we were being selfish and greedy we addressed the issue and it took a good bit of work to get back into that mindset but it is honestly the best place to be. When I'm thinking of only my needs or my pleasure I resent pleasing my husband. When I am looking to please my husband first it is quite joyful and he almost always reciprocates.

Does that make sense?

As I said at the beginning it's simply putting your spouses needs and pleasure above and before your own.
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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Dbrown » Fri Jan 16, 2015 7:14 am

Yes it does make sense. Almost similar to what Christ did for the church.

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Stumoo » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:18 am

I'll gladly tell of my wedding night from my perspective. It was such an (incredible!) blur that writing it down will help me remember it better too.

DW and I were both virigns, but we knew how important sex would be in marriage and had done plenty of preparatory reading and talked a lot about our expectations. This really stood us in good stead - I can't imagine having to try and undo 'sex is dirty and wrong' teaching that some members on this board received in their youth!

We left our reception quite early, just after 9pm, and my best man drove us the 25 mins to our hotel. My wife became fairly quiet on the ride, a combination of resting after all the celebrations, and nervousness about what was to come! When we got into the room, we set the mood with candles and music. DW sometimes still asks me to put the same playlist on when we make love now :D. Setting the mood for our first time was really important. Then we prayed (quite briefly - well, we had waited a long time for each other!). We had decided to take things slowly, and there was no ripping off clothes but instead we spent time kissing, our hands playing over parts that previously we wouldn't have shared. As we slowly removed each other's clothes, we became more and more aware of the special intimacy of the marriage bed. There were some unexpected moments; I was surprised at the feel of her breasts - more firm and weighty than I anticipated, and when I took off my underwear she blurted out "It's huge!", which is a slight exaggeration but I'll take it anyway :lol:

After around 35-40 mintues of kissing, caressing and just beholding each other, we got out the coconut oil (thank you, TMB!) and I tried stimulating her manually. This met with only moderate success. I really was awakening my wife into completely new experiences. When we were engaged and spent time kissing, it was just about the first time she'd felt sexually excited. She had not experimented with masturbation and everything she was feeling was new and, looking back, we know her body was 'learning' how to orgasm. It almost happened that night, but it was too overwhelming for her and she didn't quite get the release of orgasm. Then came the moment for our first intercourse. All my fears about coming too soon turned out to be unfounded, and DW had only slight discomfort. She was still nervous, which made her tight, so we were gentle with each other and I came after about 5-8 minutes. There was no 'taking', I would never seriously say I took my wife's virginity. It was mutual giving, a surrender of each to the other, and it was beautiful. And quite sweaty and messy :lol:

After that we cleaned up, took a bath together, and went to bed to sleep naked. I hardly slept and was awake when dawn light started coming in - it had all been so overwhelming that we were both high and couldn't switch our brains off!

Our honeymoon sex was very good, but DW either didn't orgasm or had only a couple of small ones. It was a few weeks later, as we got more experienced, that things became much easier. You know (or maybe you don't, if you're reading the Engaged forum!), those encounters where you both finish as the same time, breathless, high as a kite and basically on another planet. When we started having those amazing lovemaking sessions on a regular basis, we just looked at each other, grinned, and said "I can't believe we got so good at sex so quickly!" In the 8 months we've been married, it has just been getting better and better. From what long time married folks on here say, I have PLENTY more improvement to look forward to :D

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