Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
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padsnd
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Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby padsnd » Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:49 am

[Topic Moved to Engaged section at request of OP] Recent exchanges on here have brought me back to these three "events". I have a difficult time thinking about these because they were not the greatest of experiences. I wonder how others remember these.

Wedding Day: Treated like a hamster in a maze. I remember frustration. Because of the frustrations, I was in tears and had my eyes closed as my bride came down the aisle--so, when others talk about the joy of that, I can't relate.

Wedding Night: Ridicule. Opportunities missed. Emotionally painful.

Honeymoon: Nice vacation.

Marrying my wife was the best thing in my life after my relationship with Jesus. These three events weren't best things. It is hard to "marry" these two ideas.

Does anyone else have a similar experience with these?
padsnd

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, an Honeymoon

Postby melinda » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:12 am

Wedding Day: A bit of frustration with logistical issues, and people who didn't do the things they'd committed to doing. But all that fell away as I took my first step down the isle with my daughters giving me away.

Wedding Night: was memorable, romantic, and very sweet.

Honeymoon: was the first of many great trips DH and I have taken. Yes, there was sex but for me it was the time together being husband and wife in the world that was incredible.

Our issues began a couple of years after the marriage, but out beginnings were great for us both. We often fondly reminisce about those times, even his helping take all 65 pins out of my hair and us almost flooding out room with bubbles from the jacuzzi tub.

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, an Honeymoon

Postby jokerman » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:27 am

Wedding Day -- It was very nice, no complaints from me. I found the rehearsal more stressful, frankly.

Wedding Night -- It was awesome. We were both totally into it and no one had pain and everyone orgasmed.

Honeymoon -- Probably a portent of things to come. We were young (22 and 23) and our honeymoon kind of demonstrates a degree of immaturity. We chose a lovely place (Toronto) but we didn't have any plans, so it was kind of a shapeless bit of wandering around and being indecisive. After three days of this, she suggested we just head back home so she could catch up with some family members that she hadn't seen in a while. Not exactly the storybook week of unbridled passion and stimulating sightseeing that either of us wanted.

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Wedding Day, Wedding Night, an Honeymoon

Postby Mrs. Tomorrow » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:30 am

I had a great wedding day. It was bright and fun and relaxing (for me-- my friends and helpers made sure that I didn't know if things were going wrong). That night was sweet and lots of fun. We didn't really have a honeymoon "trip" right away, just time off of work to get me moved to DH's city and relax for a few days after. We took an awesome trip for our first anniversary. We're planning another for our second in a few months. I definitely have fond memories.

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, an Honeymoon

Postby Leah » Thu Apr 11, 2013 10:39 am

Wedding was all on me. I had to pay for everything and do everything. I was exhausted.

Wedding night was nothing to write home about. It was like I was with a different person.

Honeymoon? What honeymoon?
Leah

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”--C.S. Lewis


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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, an Honeymoon

Postby OldMarriedLady » Thu Apr 11, 2013 10:52 am

Wedding Day - awful weather; rain and gale-force winds that actually kept a few of our elderly out-of-town guests from attending, and left my wedding dress with 12 inches of mud stains on the bottom of the skirt. DH was impaired by both drugs and alcohol at our ceremony so it wasn't anything I enjoy remembering.

Wedding Night - viewtopic.php?f=28&t=54480#p858682 (disaster).

Honeymoon - couldn't afford any kind of honeymoon so we just went on a fishing trip to his parents' cabin (the one we own now). One of my honeymoon memories is of me putting on a slinky black lace negligee and climbing onto DH's lap, asking him what he wanted to do - and he said "let's play Yahtzee!" (I kid you not, and we did end up playing Yahtzee at the kitchen table, with me still in my negligee. :roll: )
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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, an Honeymoon

Postby Leah » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:00 am

OldMarriedLady wrote: One of my honeymoon memories is of me putting on a slinky black lace negligee and climbing onto DH's lap, asking him what he wanted to do - and he said "let's play Yahtzee!" (I kid you not, and we did end up playing Yahtzee at the kitchen table, with me still in my negligee. :roll: )


Mine was white, and we had to watch Bugs Bunny first. :roll:
Leah

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”--C.S. Lewis


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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby homestar » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:19 am

@Leah/OML

You guys are making me feel like a regular Rico Suave.

None of the three memories would I consider as "highlights," but they weren't bad either.

If anything, having put so many expectations on marriage, it was more of a "now what" moment(s). From the perspective of looking back, it's just history.
And somebody's a-ga-wabbin' a-my butt.

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby TilWeHaveFaces » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:32 am

Leah and OML... ::bh

Wedding: stressful, lots to do -- DW taking a lot of it on herself (hmm, setting the tone for a lot in retrospect). Stress from DW's crazy, mostly alcoholic dysfunctional extended family in town. But lots of sweet stuff amongst all of that. The rehearsal dinner was fantastic.

Wedding night: Sigh. It was great. Yes, we were beginners, but I'd still love to re-create it.

Honeymoon: We went to London. It was a great experience, and we've been back since a few times. It was jampacked with activity. But it may have been too much activity for that particular week. If I could do it all over again I'd go somewhere a little slower paced where we could spend more time languidly relaxing in each others' presence, say a Caribbean island.

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby beautyfromashes » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:45 am

Wedding Day - A little crazy and hectic with some last minute scrambling, but overall a great day and a sweet memory.

Wedding Night - An awkward moment or two, but really great. Almost no pain for me, multiple orgasms on both sides, a gorgeous B&B, our first bubble bath together, just really great.

Honeymoon - Kind of meh. It was just before Christmas and we didn't want to have to be in the airports, so we just went to the closest big city. Like Jokerman, we didn't really plan, so we ended up at the malls, went to see a movie, and that was about it. There wasn't tons of sex either. I was a touch sore, and Hubby's lower drive was making it's first appearance. I think after our wedding night, it was two, maybe three, times over the rest of the four days. So not bad, just not amazing either.
Deep intimacy always requires work, acceptance, and forgiveness. Lots of it. ~~ Linda Dillow

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby Exuberance » Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:23 pm

Wedding day: Perfection. Everything was perfect and beautiful and exactly the carefree, breezy, outside wedding I had envisioned. I was barefoot, my gown was hand made by my mother, I carried daffodils, my dad officiated. Hubby was late to the church to get ready, but I was mostly just blissed out and nothing really bothered me.

Wedding night: I wanted it to be very nice for hubby. I changed into something sultry, and took initiative (we both weren't virgins). I had arousal issues (a repetitive issue), and because of this intercourse didn't feel very good that night, and I didn't O, but I was just focused on making it nice for him, and he accepted that and enjoyed it.

Honeymoon: we had none. We stayed at a hotel our wedding night, then got up and had breakfast and came home. He still had stuff to finish moving from his old apartment, and he stayed there for the first two weeks of our marriage, which caused a lot of resentment on my part. My love language is quality time, and I felt that his staying at his old place was extremely unloving our first two weeks. Our marriage began breaking down during that time. :|

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby HisLadybug » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:48 pm

Wedding day: Pretty good, with some stress. MIL was an hour late for pictures. Our photographer showed up 90 minutes EARLY after we'd repeatedly talked about the time. I didn't think ahead enough to plan a special "moment" for DH and me to see each other before the ceremony (since we did pics before the ceremony). Overall pretty good though. Although looking back now 7 years later, I'd do a LOT of things differently.

Wedding night: We had to make a 2 hour drive to our hotel since we were flying out the next day - we got LOST. Very stressful. Once we got to the hotel though we had a nice time. We attempted IC but didn't succeed (I was too nervous and tense). I think DH was disappointed about that. He had been pretty horny all day. In retrospect I should have just taken care of him manually but I wasn't really ready for that yet (too naive, too shy). Had breakfast overlooking the river the next morning.

Honeymoon - a dream. We were in Maui and it was picture perfect. We experimented sexually every day, and got a little better every day (we were virgins). I was pretty sore but it was worth it.
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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby InGodsGrace » Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:34 am

Wedding day: smoothe sailing, pictures before the ceremony, we had our reception catered, I knew nothing if anything went wrong. Like JM the rehearsal dinner was more stressful. Too many alcoholics on my side of the family. :evil:

Wedding night: a dream, no pain, blissful! No awkward, my dh wasn't a virgin, I was but I wasn't shy!

Honeymoon: awesome 2 weeks away. We also want to Hawaii. Beautiful! We did sightseeing, didn't miss anything and still had time to ML twice a day. No soreness either, no UTI's etc.

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby poetess » Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:51 am

Wedding day: somewhat simple, but beautiful, with most of my "dreams" fulfilled. (The dress I wanted, the flowers and music, and a groom with tears in his eyes as I walked down the aisle. A tender kiss followed by a long hug during the ceremony, some time alone for our first passionate kiss while guests were filing out, and my first time on his lap during the picture-taking.)

Wedding night: lovely time of investigating each other, several hours of sex play, tenderness and intimacy with not a hint of shyness from this virgin bride. (I thought I'd have some after decades of virginity and modesty.)

Honeymoon: lovely in every way except we got sick during it; illness was going through the family, and we caught it. But we got to do the most important of our planned activities (non-sexual) before we got sick, and we had lots of times for intimacy (sexual and non-sexual) both before and after. And I've heard that getting sick on the honeymoon is very common because you finally can "relax" after the stress of wedding planning.

Very good memories.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, an Honeymoon

Postby TN_Wife » Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:38 am

Leah wrote:
OldMarriedLady wrote: One of my honeymoon memories is of me putting on a slinky black lace negligee and climbing onto DH's lap, asking him what he wanted to do - and he said "let's play Yahtzee!" (I kid you not, and we did end up playing Yahtzee at the kitchen table, with me still in my negligee. :roll: )


Mine was white, and we had to watch Bugs Bunny first. :roll:


We had two nights together when we got married due to school--our actual honeymoon was a few months later.

We flew halfway around the world. Mine just wanted order room service and eat from the minibar. We sex once during the actual honeymoon.


:roll:

Sad we all had similar experiences that were so indicative of things to come.

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby robin » Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:20 am

Oy vey. Here goes.

Wedding Day: Woke up in our apartment and got DH packed for his return to basic training (we moved up our date by six months so it was on the fly). DH left to try one more time into talking his parents into coming and picked up his stuff they had thrown out on the doorstep. :roll: I had a minor meltdown while getting ready because I had always said I would never get married. Got over myself and realized I was ready to do this. Actual wedding was simple and quiet. Had cake and imbibed from the punchbowl of pain, punch started out pink and ended up brown after the entire copious contents of my dad's liquor cabinet had been emptied into it.

Wedding night: Our friends left for a town 60 miles away after the reception which is where we needed to be in the morning. We went back to our teeny tiny apartment. Screamed at dh when I tripped over DH's Army duffel bag that led to him throwing me on the bed for some laughing funny sex. We were getting ready for another round when our friends showed up and kidnapped us to the town we needed to be at in the am. It was New Years Eve so we all drank and partied and rang in the New Year, minor sidetrack to dump off one of our kinda friends at the emergency room for alcohol poisoning, after the hospital dump another friend got pulled over right behind us was cited for DUI. Got back and had to debate making a second trip because DH's best man had been huffing something that had turned his lips, under his eyes and fingernails blue and his heart was racing but no one cared to risk another DUI. DH and I spirited away to the guest house and enjoyed rounds 2 and 3 and got about two hours of sleep before it was time to go to the bus station and send him away for the next two months. On the way back to the town we lived in ended up having to dump yet another clown off for alcohol poisoning. Got home went to sleep for a couple hours and experienced a three week hangover. Kinda surprised to open the front door to get the paper and found a friend sleeping on our catwalk, in January. Never, ever drank like that again, none of us. Every time we got together after that for the next 23 years anyone who was in attendance moans and cries about what a great celebration that was, but how sick they were after that. To anyone else that might seem disastrous but to us it was special and we laugh about it, unless it's time to move the punchbowl to get at something else on the shelf. No one can bear to look at the punchbowl...
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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby luvmygirls » Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:17 am

Wedding was nice and just as we had planned. The only thing i had wanted was a tux w tails. Mine had an ivory vest and every one else had black cumerbunds. But they sent one black vest. Fortunately the guy who got the vest and my brother were about the same size so we just traded and my brother who was best man wore the vest. Our photographer had to leave early but we knew that when we booked her so our reception was pretty short. Unfortunately our pictures were terrible with shadows, off center pics, etc. and we had a hard time finding enough good ones to fill our package. Otherwise it was good. We planned for a car change during the reception so we only drove the decorated one about two miles to her parents house, changed clothes and cars and left for the honeymoon. My brother took care of the tuxes and getting the car cleaned.

Our wedding night was nice. I had always wantedto take abath with her so we took a nice bubble bath drinking champagne and taking bobbi pins out of her hair. There was a pile of them on the edge of the tub and bird seed everywhere. She had a nice ivory teddy and i had some new silk boxers (we asked about preferences) and enjoyed ourselves. The next morning we ate room service breakfast while listening to a live jazz band through the doors to the indoor patio.

That afternoon we drove to pigeon forge and stayed in a rental house someone had provided as a wedding gift. It was one they owned to rent out and blocked it out for us. We ml several times, cooked our own food mostly and goofed off most days. Ididnt make much of anyfhing so it was the best i could do. We got back on th, packed up and moved to tx on sun.
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Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby padsnd » Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:16 am

Wow. I honestly don't know if it is just the mix of those responding or not, but I am fairly certain there are others who have indicated issues on other threads with these events that didn't include just the normal logistical frustrations (decoration, clothing, cake, meal issues, etc.)

I was going to ask those who did have such situations some additional questions, but alas everyone seems to be saying it was generally a wonderful time. For me, if I was told I could spend a day working around the house with my DW or relive my wedding day, I would take the former. Though the honeymoon was a trip and certainly better than working, I think most of my trips since would be classified as better.
padsnd

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby poetess » Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:48 pm

So why not ask the questions and see if anyone relates to them? It looks like several of us expressed sweet memories, and several more expressed some that hinted of later trouble . . . I imagine someone on here might identify if you ask what you want to ask.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

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Re: Wedding Day, Wedding Night, and Honeymoon

Postby OldMarriedLady » Sat Apr 13, 2013 7:04 pm

padsnd wrote:everyone seems to be saying it was generally a wonderful time.

Uh, no, I sure didn't say that.
"When you love them, they drive you crazy - because they know they can."
(From the 1987 movie "Moonstruck", written by John Patrick Shanley)


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