Wedding Night Wear

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
LifeAbundantly
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Wedding Night Wear

Postby LifeAbundantly » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:58 pm

Hello all!

My FH and I are engaged to be married (both virgins) and our wedding is about a month away! I've begun shopping around for bridal lingerie and am a little unsure of what would be best. (We're planning on showering separately and I will change into lingerie (my bridal gown is nearly impossible to get off!) ... Not sure what he's wearing (hehe, advice there?), while we've had conversations about sex/intimacy we're saving the more detailed wedding-night conversations till closer to the wedding.)

Part of me wants to be nearly-normally covered (it is after all our first time--and all the better for a gradual "reveal")--but at the same time I don't know how easily FH, being who he is and unexperienced, will find removing garments. Any advice? Do new husbands find getting things off difficult--are more layers better? Bras or baby-dolls?

Thank you! Such a blessing to find a Christian forum on these topics.

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby sue244 » Mon Sep 08, 2014 3:19 pm

Congrats on your upcoming wedding. I just got married myself about 6 months ago and both DH and me were Virgins on our wedding night as well. I was like you, wanting to showering seperatly first of all after getting out of my dress. (I also needed help getting out of it and my DH we happy to oblige although I still had enough layers on that he didn't really see anything at that point. As far as what to wear go I would suggest a simple teddy that can just go over your head when its time to come off. And if you are wanting a bit more coverage then that how about a nice silky robe. Covers a lot more but is really easy to get off not to mention it feels wonderful. Don't get something complicated to come off. That can come later in the marriage. :D

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby John143 » Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:00 pm

A baby-doll or teddy is super sexy and shows off your body for your husband. As a man I'd choose one of those for my wife to wear.
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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby osprey6 » Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:04 pm

Yes, definitely keep it simple. I think the baby doll (especially with a constructed bra) is an excellent choice, although a simple teddy or sexy bra/panty combo would work well too. Alas, my wife wore a long peignor that I frankly did not find very exciting, but of course, its what was underneath that counted....

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby jokerman » Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:16 pm

There's no rule that says the husband has to be the one removing the garments. If you really want to show up in an intricate outfit of corset and garters, then by all means do it, and you can kind of help him, or just do a strip show and take everything off yourself.

There's no wrong answer. He will be delighted with any sexy outfit you choose.

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby girliegirl511 » Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:45 pm

I got married in December! Love your outlook on talking about intimacy! I did a lot of research on websites, department stores and well known lingerie stores. I asked(then) FH about what he liked, and he said "surprise me." I couldn't bring myself to wear something too revealing or skimpy. After looking for several weeks I chose a knee length white(still wanted to symbolize virginity) satin gown. Had lace and ribbons and a sheer robe. I brought sexier things for later in the week but I chose something more conservative. I felt pretty, sexy, innocent and comfortable.
It's all how you feel in them! Go to Soma or Victoria Secret and try things on!! Or better yet, buy it try it on in the comfort of your bedroom. If you don't feel sexy AND comfortable for your wedding night, return it. I bought 3 things for the honeymoon, then he and I went to an outlet mall and he chose a few things when we arrived at our destination. :)

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby beautyfromashes » Mon Sep 08, 2014 6:00 pm

My only advice is don't choose something really complicated to get in or out of, like a corset with tons of hooks and eyes.
Deep intimacy always requires work, acceptance, and forgiveness. Lots of it. ~~ Linda Dillow

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby platypusofdeath » Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:21 pm

You know, you really can't go wrong, whatever you do! I wore a shirt and skirt and let him slowly reveal what was underneath. I had on a really pretty, special white bra and panty set. That seemed to go over well. :D

I agree with others that you don't want something uncomfortable or that takes a team to get out of. Just wear what makes you feel pretty and sexy!
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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby poetess » Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:14 am

A side note, since the "what to wear" has already been answered well: I can't speak for every woman (and definitely not for every man), but it would have driven me crazy to shower separately. Hearing that shower running and knowing he's in there naked and I have to wait to see him? And then, showering myself and feeling so sexy but with no one to see me? (I will say I've heard that the "worst" thing is for a man to just come out of the bathroom naked. You need some lead-up to seeing him naked or the sight of a naked penis is overwhelmingly large.) I expected to feel shy about being naked with him that first night, but didn't feel that way at all.

But my experience might well have been different partly because I waited till past 40 to get married. I'd spent many years single and doing stuff alone, and I just didn't want to be doing anything "solo" on our wedding night.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby Bear » Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:22 am

Gazelle wrote:...Do new husbands find getting things off difficult--...


FWIW married 27 years this month and those bra clasps can still confound old[er] husbands too. :)

Great advise above. Add a smile to whatever you wear (or don't wear) and the journey from inexperienced to experienced can't go very far off track.
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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby Job29Man » Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:41 am

Depends on your sense of humor. If he's a big football fan you could come out of the bathroom in shoulder pads, jersey, helmet and mouthguard. 8)
Wanting to become like Job, as described in the Bible, the book of Job chapter 29. Hence the screen name.

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby dc9 » Tue Sep 09, 2014 7:52 am

We were virgins on our wedding night.
We undressed each other completely from the wedding clothes. Then we stood naked infront of each other and just revelled in the beautiful sight of each other's naked body. We hugged and kissed a little and then took a shower together where we washed, felt and caressed each other thoroughly.
After the shower we went to bed and continued our exploration. No clothes came on again until the next day.

All I mean is that you don't need sexy clothes or any clothes for it to be nice and very special. Neither of us felt awkward or uneasy during the first (or following) nights.


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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby gorf321 » Tue Sep 09, 2014 8:03 am

beautyfromashes wrote:My only advice is don't choose something really complicated to get in or out of, like a corset with tons of hooks and eyes.


Excellent advice! Newbie males do not do bra hooks very well.

Why don't you ask your future DH if he has any preferences? I am certain he's given some thought to the matter. :D

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby TheTigress » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:41 pm

I agree with the statements along the lines of simplicity! We did the showering separate path and I choose a simple baby doll. It was comfortable and it was about mid-thigh length so it didn't show anything if I didn't want to show it yet. I'm extremely introverted and I just really needed those few moments showering to decompress, relax and prepare for the next part of the night. I was terrified of that whole being naked in front him process. We took everything extremely slowly and being naked wasn't as scary as I made it out to be in my mind.

You could still do a layered thing like you mentioned for a slow reveal by adding a silky robe and maybe some stockings. I just did baby doll and some sexy underwear.

However whatever you do or don't wear as long as you are both seeking to please each other and eagerly exploring it's all gonna work out just fine! :)
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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby confident » Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:17 pm

I agree with gorf's comment to ask him what he wants. I'm in a similar situation to the OP, trying to work out what to do for my own upcoming wedding night. I'd always assumed that we'd shower separately, but FH wants to undress me. :) I'll probably just go white lace panties, as the dress has a built-in bra.

Just make sure you talk about your expectations. Blessings!

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Wedding Night Wear

Postby Epaminondas » Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:15 pm

DW went with a white slightly sheer baby doll style piece with a white thong underneath. Nipples slightly visible but not blatant. Very sexy. Very easy to take off. No clasps or straps,'etc. I'd definitely avoid those. Bra books are annoying even after 11+ years I still sometimes have trouble with bra hooks lol

Mostly he WANTS to see YOU naked. You really can't go wrong. :)
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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby ledgemoor » Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:02 pm

Ask him to give you want he wants you to wear (don't be surprised if he doesn't give you anything :lol:).

I gave DW a simple one-piece long sheer robe that opens in the front, in the color that looks best on her. Very easy to access her vulva and breasts without removing it, and easy to totally remove too.

Something to think about: get something durable and washable -- not a lot of delicate lace that will look ratty in a few years. You will want to use it on anniversaries for years to come.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby LifeAbundantly » Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:35 am

Thank you all for your wonderfully helpful comments! I think I've definitely decided to go more the baby-doll/enticing robe route (the bra-straps were precisely what I was worried about and you've all confirmed to veer away from those!).

Hehe, I'd never thought about whether we'd be able to "handle" being separate/waiting while the other showers. (Poetess, 'here's hoping! FH and I will have to discuss it again. ;-)) I think we'll both feel more comfortable/sexy though after washing away all the dance and travel sweat!

So believe it or not, my FH has expressed bewilderment as to the purpose of lingerie as "it won't stay on very long." :wink: So I know he will find whatever I choose attractive and it will help ME to feel sexy and beautiful and feminine--and like I've "prepared." I've got some sexier things for later on in the week (just like girliegirl511! love your idea of getting more stuff together on the honeymoon!) For other brides: FH and I have discussed the concept of "going slow" ... I feel like as virgins we only get to experience the "first" time once (we have the rest of our lives to experiment!!!), and there is something precious and symbolic about experiencing each barrier coming down.

So. Any advice for what men "should" wear (walking-in-naked not being advised? :roll: :wink: )?

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Guys want to be "unwrapped" too.

Postby Job29Man » Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:38 am

Gazelle wrote:Any advice for what men "should" wear?


Depends on how he wants to be "unwrapped." It sounds like most brides prefer to present themselves in lingerie and be unwrapped from that lingerie. But I don't get the sense that most guys fantasize about presenting themselves in a bathrobe or pajamas, let alone being unwrapped from bathrobe or pjs.

I know that my dreams about the first time had always involved my bride undressing me from fully clothed. IOW I pictured her undoing my belt, unzipping my pants, unbuttoning my shirt, and removing these herself. Somehow if I were to "get ready for her" by doing all this myself I felt like I would have missed out. So I wore nice street clothes and (now this is important) NEW and attractive underwear (not just the blah white jockey briefs).

Contrary to some stereotypes I was willing to wait and let her unwrap my package. Watching her hands go to the previously off-limits buckle, zipper, etc and find the previously forbidden body parts was its own reward. :mrgreen:
Wanting to become like Job, as described in the Bible, the book of Job chapter 29. Hence the screen name.

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Re: Wedding Night Wear

Postby ledgemoor » Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:48 am

So believe it or not, my FH has expressed bewilderment as to the purpose of lingerie as "it won't stay on very long." :wink: So I know he will find whatever I choose attractive and it will help ME to feel sexy and beautiful and feminine--and like I've "prepared."

Amen to that!

Tell him what you would prefer to wear and see if he is comfortable with that, or if you don't care, ask him surprise you. DW had me wear a bikini brief with a rainbow decoration over my penis. Not too comfortable when erect, but she didn't leave it on long.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)


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