Body image stuff

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
kiwimedic
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Body image stuff

Postby kiwimedic » Sun Sep 28, 2014 7:22 pm

So it's just under 5 weeks to my wedding. I'm so excited but in one thing I'm feeling concerned. I used to be quite overweight (130kg) but lost a lot of the weight a few years back. I'm now only 10kg off "healthy weigh" though I'm pretty healthy - running and active etc. I have terrible body image problems because the years of being overweight have left me with stretched skin, a big belly flap and flabby saggy thighs. My FH is fine with how I look. He saw I pic of me when I first lost weight and was 10kg lighter than I am now and said he prefers me as I am now. So I've gotten my head mostly around the fact he desires me regardless of how I feel I look (though I pointed out he doesn't know what is under the clothing - he said he has a good imagination and will love and cherish and desire me regardless) sooo this brings me to my problem. I can't find anything sexy to wear that looks good on me. Normal panties just look gross with all the extra skin rolling out and I don't think that wearing granny pants will be very allureing. I know that a satin nighty would go down well but I would like a range of thing to share with him. The last time I tried to find something I left the store in tears. Any advise from other post weight loss people or anyone with some helpful advice.
Ta (that means "thank you" in kiwi speak)

mamame
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Re: Body image stuff

Postby mamame » Sun Sep 28, 2014 7:45 pm

Corsetts and baby doll type things. I'm right there with you. DH says men like women because we are soft and squishy. He likes all the squishy parts.

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seeking perspective
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Re: Body image stuff

Postby seeking perspective » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:13 pm

My husband likes the soft and squishy parts, too.

Your future husband will love your body because it will be part of his experience of enjoying sexual pleasure with you.

kiwimedic wrote:I can't find anything sexy to wear that looks good on me. Normal panties just look gross with all the extra skin rolling out and I don't think that wearing granny pants will be very allureing. I know that a satin nighty would go down well but I would like a range of thing to share with him. The last time I tried to find something I left the store in tears. Any advise from other post weight loss people or anyone with some helpful advice.


Although I don't have a post weight-loss body (it's more of a pre weight-loss body), I have learned something about panties and sexy things for women who want some coverage.

You can get waist-high panties that give good coverage but don't look like granny panties. Look for some that are satiny (with cotton crotches) and in bright colors or patterns.

Then, look for things that can be paired with your fancy panties for a sexy look. Leopard-print panties with a black camisole is a nice look. Or get a bra that coordinates.

I don't even bother looking for lingerie in actual stores any more. I have had good luck shopping online though. You might want to do an internet search for plus-size lingerie. Look at the styles to get an idea of what the options are that provide good coverage while revealing the right stuff, and then go to a site that sells your size and look for those items.

Some sites have pictures of the items without models (or in mannequins). Once you're married, you and your husband can look through those sites together and he can point out the items he would enjoy seeing you in.
Last edited by seeking perspective on Thu Oct 02, 2014 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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girliegirl511
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Re: Body image stuff

Postby girliegirl511 » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:18 pm

Lane Bryant and Soma Intimates all the way!! They have a great selection for women like you and I. Customer service is great and I didn't feel like I needed to be a size 0000 when going into the store or any part of the process.

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IM_a_Farmwife
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Re: Body image stuff

Postby IM_a_Farmwife » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:52 pm

My DH sat me down at the beginning of our marriage and told me how much he loved my body. It's sounds like your FH is the same way. During most of the 26 years we've been married, I was a size 22 (3X). I went down to a size 16 two years ago. All the extra skin is fine with DH. He loves all the soft curves. You must, must believe your FH when he tells you how hot you are, once you are married. He will mean it. That is the way God wired him. You will have much more fun if you show off all your softness to your husband when you guys get married. Enjoy the fact that your FH will be wearing "wife goggles". That where DH only has eyes for YOU. Have fun!

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happilymarriedkate
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Re: Body image stuff

Postby happilymarriedkate » Thu Oct 02, 2014 8:33 am

I would recommend finding a style you are comfortable in and getting a few in different colors and with different embellishments. Also, have you seen any cami/short sets? I had one for my honeymoon- it was ivory lace. They were short shorts- covered more than panties but not as much as a pair of shorts would. The top was matching ivory lace with a plunging neckline. Also- accentuate your positives! If you have large breasts, get things that show your cleavage. My DH says the same things to me that others here have said about enjoying smooth, soft places on my body.
~HM Kate

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txtwindad
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Re: Body image stuff

Postby txtwindad » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:56 am

As a husband, I really have no suggestions for how to hide flaws. But I hope you are listening to what almost every woman has told you. Their husbands love their bodies and what they see as flaws he does not.

If you have one gift you can give your husband for the wedding night and the rest of your life. Please, please hear what these women have told you. Choose to believe your husband and see your body as he sees you. By all means find the lingerie that helps you feel good about yourself. But try very hard to change your thinking about your body. Your husband will have chosen you out of all the women in the world. Take pride and comfort in that. Be generous and open with him by letting him see your body often and without shame. Try your best to set aside your body image issues and leave them in the dust behind you.

The shame and tears you felt after trying a few things on do not come from God. They are lies.
 "Baby, Baby go and fetch some water,
Pour it on me so's I don't melt.
Can't you see you've got me burnin' hotter
Than a black vinyl car seat in ..." Two Tons of Steel

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Re: Body image stuff

Postby landschooner » Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:57 pm

Totally agree. I picked my wife and I did have choices. She was size 22 then and she is size 22 now. I believe she is Gods lesson to me about beauty. Nothing compares to her and I'm head over heels enamored with my sexy beautiful wife.

LS


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bigloop
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Re: Body image stuff

Postby bigloop » Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:27 am

Attitude is the sexiest part of any woman. Why many if not most women can't comprehend that I don't know. Because I'm not a woman I guess. Or maybe it's because many have believed the same lies Satan has be propagating to men for eons. It Is truly sad. The man that is so shallow is not worth marrying. Sounds like you don't have that problem, so relax and rock his world with your beautiful self, body and attitude!

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Re: Body image stuff

Postby Nvr2Late » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:32 pm

landschooner wrote:Totally agree. I picked my wife and I did have choices. She was size 22 then and she is size 22 now. I believe she is Gods lesson to me about beauty. Nothing compares to her and I'm head over heels enamored with my sexy beautiful wife.

LS
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I'm gonna "rabbit trail" here for a second, LS, and tell you that this post just made me feel much more comfortable in my own skin. I have never heard a man say anything like this. (well except my own, in different words, but I struggle to believe him. This helped)

Thank you!!
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How we handle our spouse's shortcomings reveals more about our own character than theirs. * I’ve already told you more than I know.


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