Concerned about premature ejaculation

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
Tallis
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Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby Tallis » Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:14 pm

Hi all,

Since my teen years I've MBed a lot, but I've really been dialing it down the past couple of years and I haven't done it for a good few months now in preparation for my wedding night.

But when I did MB, I would ejaculate pretty quickly after starting. I'm concerned that I won't last very long at all inside my FW on our wedding night. I've heard there are some sort of exercises I can do with my penis (holding in pee, stopping, starting, stopping, starting again?).

Any advice? Anyone experience this on their wedding night and early on in their marriage?

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George B.
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Re: Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby George B. » Sat Apr 25, 2015 1:13 am

first off, welcome to TMB! :wave:

there are ways you can train yourself to last longer. My personal favorite is kegel exercises, as you alluded to in your post.

however, I wouldn't sweat it a whole lot during your wedding night. generally, you should expect that you'll ejaculate quickly and she likely won't have an orgasm through intercourse, anyway, on your wedding night (and depending on different factors, may not be able to do this for a while--that's the way it is for most women).

focus on just relaxing and enjoying one another. If things don't happen perfectly, that's okay. you have the rest of your lives together to practice this wonderful thing called sex.
On sex: "Neither men nor women will be asked to throw away the weapon they have used victoriously. It is the beaten and the fugitives who throw away their swords. The conquerors sheathe theirs and retain them."-C.S. Lewis

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Re: Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby Pallando » Sat Apr 25, 2015 7:00 am

I would echo what George B says. No virgin male lasts long on their wedding night. Your wife's body is something entirely new to you and I don't know any friends reporting lasting longer than a minute. Many do not even get to penetration.

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poetess
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Re: Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby poetess » Sat Apr 25, 2015 7:59 am

From a woman's perspective: My husband was older when we married, and had been married before, so he didn't have PE. I never told him, but there were several times in those early months when I kind of wished he did, since it was new to me, and the friction made me sore at times.

I came to believe that newlywed PE is God's way of helping a young husband and wife to grow together sexually. He can finish quickly, before she gets sore, and over time both of them build up endurance. It's part of growing together sexually, and it's a good thing. Besides, you'll be young and healthy, and can probably practice again fairly quickly.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

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poetess
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Re: Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby poetess » Sat Apr 25, 2015 8:04 am

Oh, this is off topic, but I see that your wedding date is more than a year and a half away. Personally I don't think it's a good idea to be looking forward to having sex with this person for more than a year and a half. If you know that you want to marry, and you're ready to marry, then get engaged and set a wedding date within three to six months. Two years is playing with fire; it's way too long to be "planning for sex" without practicing sex. If you plan to marry as virgins, that isn't the ideal way to go about doing so.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

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Re: Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby sd595 » Sat Apr 25, 2015 8:19 am

Best advice is just simply not to worry, you will have a lifetime to work it all out!

Not having a release for a long time before the wedding night is a guarantee to not last long though...

poetess wrote:it's way too long to be "planning for sex" without practicing sex.


So long as he has self control, I don't think there is anything wrong with planning or thinking about the blessing he will have with his FW.
Get out your bible and see what He says. Pray to Him right now and ask Him for His wisdom in the matter. He will not fail you if you put your faith and trust in Him.

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George B.
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Re: Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby George B. » Sat Apr 25, 2015 8:42 am

poetess wrote:Oh, this is off topic, but I see that your wedding date is more than a year and a half away. Personally I don't think it's a good idea to be looking forward to having sex with this person for more than a year and a half.

good point, poetess. I missed that.
On sex: "Neither men nor women will be asked to throw away the weapon they have used victoriously. It is the beaten and the fugitives who throw away their swords. The conquerors sheathe theirs and retain them."-C.S. Lewis

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Re: Concerned about premature ejaculation

Postby Romantic Husband » Mon Apr 27, 2015 10:07 am

The universal advice for grooms is to take it really slow your first time, and usually that advice is usually intended for the benefit of the virgin bride. In my case, I think it helped me as a virgin husband to last longer the first time. Take your time, but if it happens, it happens. It'll get better with practice. I personally recommend lots and lots of practice.

When I MBed as a young guy, I learned to pace myself, and start and stop as necessary to prolong the pleasure. If you know what I'm talking about, then that's the same process I used to last longer for my DW.
Matthew 19:26 - With God all things are possible.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.


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