Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
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Dale
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Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Dale » Thu May 14, 2015 10:14 am

So, my DS and his fiance are getting married in less than two weeks, and I've taken them through my usual premarital counseling course, including two sessions on sex. However, being the dad and future father-in-law, I pulled some punches with them that I would not have with others, just to spare the awkwardness and not wanting my DS to visualize too much of his mom and me!! :lol: I did give them the task of registering for TMB, and I believe my DS might be on here--but I did tell him that I would not use any of my admin powers to figure out who he is! :lol:

So, if you all could help me out and in this thread set out your best tips for romancing and making love, that would be great (maybe like a Top 10 list or something!). Just in case he doesn't see it, I'd like to print the thread out and make it a part of their honeymoon gift that I'll be putting together (gotta remember to hit Wal-Mart for the coconut oil :wink: ). They are both strong Christians and are both virgins.

Thanks so much!!

Dale

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Romantic Husband » Thu May 14, 2015 11:02 am

1. Get an early start. Spend your wedding night close by to spare you a long drive, and don't make plans for the next day other than to be with each other.
2. Sex is messy. Have a diaper changing pad, a towel, or something else on the bed to protect the sheets so that no one has to sleep in the wet spot.
3. Coconut oil is the undisputed king of lubes.
4. DW should empty her bladder ASAP after ML. UTI's are no fun.
5. Pack some snacks. Crackers, candy, chocolate, fruit, sport drinks, soft drinks, etc. so that you don't have to make a grocery store run.
6. Pack aerosol whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and some imagination. Oh, yeah - and more coconut oil.
Matthew 19:26 - With God all things are possible.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Wolfy » Thu May 14, 2015 11:17 am

Go slow and have fun!! :D :mrgreen:
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Dale
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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Dale » Thu May 14, 2015 11:44 am

Forgot to mention that this is not just for the wedding night, but well beyond too! :D

Dale

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Mrs. Tomorrow » Thu May 14, 2015 1:31 pm

1. Don't rush. This is not a race; you have your entire lives to enjoy each other, so take your time when ML.
2. If you feel like rushing sometimes, go for it! Hurried, frantic LMing is a nice thing to put in the rotation.
3. Talk about sex. Talk about sex when you're not doing it, talk about what you want when you're in the midst of it.
4. Listen. When your spouse has something to say about sex; what feels good and what doesn't, their likes, and dislikes, truly listen and apply it.
5. Try anything (involving just the 2 of you). Are you curious about a certain position, marital aid, lingerie, etc? Try it. Keep trying things and find out what you both like, but try to keep it interesting (yes, there is such a thing as getting into a 'sex rut').
6. Keep a sense of humor. Sex can produce a lot of interesting visuals and sounds-- and its ok to laugh at yourselves. Laughing together releases all kinds of feel good endorphins, so don't take yourselves too seriously. Sex is fun.
7. Be generous. Try to keep in mind that you will be married to this person for the rest of your life, and while frequency may wax and wane over the course of your life together, you should still be open to have sex every day (assuming you are physically able). You might not always be 'in the mood', but if your spouse wants sex and you don't, going ahead with it with a generous, loving heart will bring you closer together.
8. Figure out your rhythm as a couple to maximize pleasure. A lot of couples follow the 'she comes first' rule when focusing on orgasms. If that works for you, great! But if not, focus on him first. And if you can tell that it just isn't going to happen during a certain encounter, speak up. You don't have to O every time if you don't want to or if you become overstimulated.
9. Don't neglect the non-sexual part of your relationship. Be each other's best friend. Communicate, surprise each other, and do things together. Sometimes the best foreplay is something not inherently sexual.
10. Pray for each other. Whether you pray out loud together for each other, or silently when you are apart, prayer naturally draws people together and will strengthen your relationship. When you encounter the stubborn side of your spouse, or find a behavior that irks you, pray about it so that it does not become a mental road block or hinder your sexual relationship.

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby MayDayGirl » Thu May 14, 2015 1:41 pm

1. Sex is not a one size fits all thing. What works for some people does not work for everyone. This includes positions, foreplay, turn ons, and accessories! Be prepared to be flexible, mentally and physically!

2. What works on Monday of last week might not necessarily work next Friday. Nobody knows why. Accept it, file it away in your mental Rolodex for another time, and try something new.

3. Be honest about your likes and dislikes. If something isn't working for you, tell your spouse now. Don't be afraid to tell your spouse what to do and how to do it. No one is a mind reader. On the flip side, don't be offended if you are told, "that doesn't feel good'" or "Honey, that turns me off." Ask what you can do, and if you are told, "I don't know" insist on reading a book together to learn more (TMB has a resource list). If either of you are shy about talking about sex, write down what you want to say. Sometimes that is easier.

4. Sex is not a competition. Don't worry about what other people are doing or not doing. Seriously.

5. Most of all, keep it fun. Don't take sex so seriously. It's good to laugh in the bedroom. It's not always going to be perfect and work out right. Try again tomorrow (or in an hour) :D

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby suffolk sinner » Thu May 14, 2015 3:29 pm

Good manners count. The same rule you were taught as a child will stand you in good stead in the bedroom:

Ladies first!

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Leah » Thu May 14, 2015 4:54 pm

Communicate. If it feels good, say so!
Leah

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Pallando » Fri May 15, 2015 8:27 am

Try everything new at least twice. Sometimes the first time does not work out. If your biggest hangup with something is "it didn't work last time," you might just need another go at it.

There are lots of types of sex: funny playful sex, emotional making love, wild horny sex and practice sex. You will have a lot of practice sex in your first years. This is good, but make sure it's not the only sex you have.

Everyone has different quirks. Keep an open mind to your spouses fantasies/interests (if Biblically sound). These are very deep seated emotionally, and you can cause a lot of pain with your reaction to them.

From an old wife mentor: Oral sex is an acquired taste.

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby C_Brown » Fri May 15, 2015 5:17 pm

On the wedding night, start by kneeling in prayer to thank God for each other before getting sexual.
Also on the wedding night, use lube even if you don't think you need it
Ideally she should get enough foreplay and oral/manual clitoral stimulation to climax before penetration
In the missionary position, use a small pillow to elevate her hips so you can penetrate deeper, and have her bring her knees up toward her shoulders
Look in each other's eyes, hold hands or somehow connect more than just your privates.
Never, never fake it. Explore and find what works, then teach your spouse what they should do.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Romantic Husband » Sun May 17, 2015 7:28 am

Agree on your priorities from the beginning of your marriage: God first, your marriage second. Everything else comes after that. You need to take care of these first two in order to be happy and to manage the rest of your life.

Approach your spouse with the heart of a servant. Making them happy will bring you happiness you've never known.
Matthew 19:26 - With God all things are possible.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Learning1 » Sun May 17, 2015 8:55 am

Keep up your sense of humor. Things will not always work out as planned. Be flexible.

Find out what speaks romance to your FW/FH and speak that language, even if it does nothing for you.

Never underestimate the power of a well timed Kiss Hug & a Smile

Learn how to give a massage

Be vulnerable & open about your needs & desires for sex & romance, even if it seems silly

Live generously
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis

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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby happilymarriedkate » Sun May 17, 2015 4:05 pm

Find out how to most effectively tell your partner that you desire him/her. Discover if this is through notes, small gifts, kind gestures, etc. And do this...a lot! Make it a habit. Love making begins long before you enter the bedroom. Once in the bedroom continue serving each other, generously! Communicate, Communicate, communicate! Neither of you can read minds no matter how in love you are! So don't pretend to, assume to or wish you could...ask and tell!!
~HM Kate

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Dale
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Re: Best Tips For Making Love To Each Other

Postby Dale » Tue Jun 02, 2015 12:00 pm

So, a little over a week ago now, my DS and his bride were married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony (weather was 72 degrees and sunny and the birds all chirped at just the right times! :D ).

As promised, I printed out and gave this thread to them as a part of their honeymoon bag that I packed with all sorts of goodies and toys for them. I just wanted to thank everybody who contributed to this thread, as your advice was extremely helpful to them and helped get their sex life off to a great start! Let's just say that the next day when I saw my DS (and my new DDIL) at church they were all smiles!! :wink: :lol:

So, thanks TMBers! You all rock!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

Dale


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