What happens after sex?

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
IloveHer
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What happens after sex?

Postby IloveHer » Tue May 19, 2015 11:31 pm

My fiance and I are engaged to me married this coming July. We are both virgins. We are so excited! We don't even know what to expect with sex, but we are very happy for whatever the outcome is! We are very thankful that God brought us together. He truely has given me the best fiancee ever! She is a treasure from God!

I'm very ignorant. That is mainly because I'm a very private person and never ventured out on conversations about personal things. I'm in my mid 20s, and just recently discovered through some research I did that it is common for men to ejaculate during sleep. I always thought I was the only one with that condition. I'm the type who never ever let anybody know about such things (even though I shared a room with a bother for most of my life). I'm used to hiding anything personal like that.

So, I naturally find myself a little nervous about what to expect. I don't want to do anything embarrassing. Remember, I'm completely ignorant, so if my questions don't make sense, please bear with me. I'm looking for wisdom from the rest of you.

1) Am I more likely to ejaculate in my sleep during my honeymoon than I am now?
2) I've noticed that after I ejaculate in my sleep, my muscles aren't as strong to hold my bladder. This has never been a problem for me. I always wake up, and have never had a problem. After the first evening of the honeymoon, will all the sexual actives make it even harder for me to hold my bladder that night as I sleep? I'm afraid I'm going to embarrass myself.

I'm sorry for such direct questions. I'm just wanting to have a plan in mind.

Thanks and God bless

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poetess
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby poetess » Wed May 20, 2015 4:19 am

Welcome to the boards! You can learn a lot by reading around here. The book "Sheet Music" by Keven Lehman might also be a good one to use.

I can't answer the second question, but the first one I would think the answer is no. Nighttime ejaculation (wet dreams) is because the body needs a release, and if you are having sex as often on your honeymoon as most people do, then you won't need additional release. (Honeymoon sex varies from couple to couple, but from what I understand, it's fair to say that for "most couples" it is at least daily, and even if it is just every other day, I would think you're unlikely to have wet dreams.)

How often do you have wet dreams now? Do you ever masturbate, and if so, how often? These questions can help guys to answer your questions in more detail.
Marriage--what a wonderful image of Christ's love for His bride!

dc9
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby dc9 » Wed May 20, 2015 5:32 am

I've never had a wet dream since I got married 14 years ago. Frequent sex cures that! ;-)

The longest I have gone without any kind of release during these years is about two weeks. Even when our average frequency was down to about once a week I never had a wet dream.

If you will have a wet dream during your honeymoon; I think definitely not as you most likely will ejaculate very often!

As for question no 2; I haven't experienced that.


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alaska bob
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby alaska bob » Wed May 20, 2015 6:16 am

IloveHer wrote:2) I've noticed that after I ejaculate in my sleep, my muscles aren't as strong to hold my bladder. This has never been a problem for me. I always wake up, and have never had a problem. After the first evening of the honeymoon, will all the sexual actives make it even harder for me to hold my bladder that night as I sleep? I'm afraid I'm going to embarrass myself.


I'll take a stab at #2. I don't think you need to worry about this. It is a pretty good idea to make sure you urinate after ejaculating. It sort of clears out the system and from my understanding, can help avoid infection. It isn't necessary to run to the restroom immediately after you ejaculate or anything, but it is a good idea to try to urinate after ejaculating before going to sleep for the night. Urine and semen share the same delivery tube, and there is a valve to control which has the "right of way". I'm not an MD or biologist or anything like that, this isn't intended to be a precise lesson in anatomy. But I"m guessing that after a nocturnal emission, when your bladder is already relatively full, you may be having a little trouble as that valve transitions from sexy time to normal time.

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C_Brown
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby C_Brown » Wed May 20, 2015 6:51 am

IloveHer wrote:2) I've noticed that after I ejaculate in my sleep, my muscles aren't as strong to hold my bladder. This has never been a problem for me. I always wake up, and have never had a problem. After the first evening of the honeymoon, will all the sexual actives make it even harder for me to hold my bladder that night as I sleep? I'm afraid I'm going to embarrass myself.


Doing Kegels may help that . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise

You know how when you are peeing you can stop it? It sounds like that muscle you use to stop peeing needs to be exercised. Try clenching it and holding it for 10 seconds, then release for a couple seconds, then do it again, 10 times in a row, at least once per day. It will also help you have even better erections and orgasms.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing -- Yvaine (in the movie Stardust)

pop fish
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby pop fish » Wed May 20, 2015 7:25 am

Congrats to you Iloveher. Very exciting times coming your way and I wish you all the best.

One suggestion / caution I have for you and your FW, please ask her about her period schedule. I suspect that the date of your marriage may be in or close to her monthly cycle. You need to know this and plan accordingly. We got married the day after my DW's period started and she did not tell me before hand. We had a very rough honeymoon because she refused to help me. Still don't know how we have survived almost 49 years. If you are in this boat, please be sure to talk about your needs with FW and see how see feels about MS or OS to help you or how she feels about PIV during her period. All difficult topic to discuss but you are about to commit for life so learn to talk early and often.

IloveHer
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby IloveHer » Wed May 20, 2015 12:00 pm

Thanks so much everybody for the info. I'm just not the type to ask questions, but this blog seems to be made up of godly brothers who give christian advise.

I have wet dreams one or twice a week. I average at least once a week. I can even have several in one night. It seems like the frequency is high to me.

The wedding will be one day after her period has ended, so she won't be in the middle of that. I did ask her to pick a date that was not in the middle of her period. We would have picked a date that was not so close, but this date worked the best. Her period is very predictable because she is on birth control (she did not start taking birth control because is lives an irresponsible life, but because of other reasons).

pop fish
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby pop fish » Thu May 21, 2015 5:42 am

Nice planning and forethought Iloveher. Good work! You guys are clearly talking about important stuff.

I assume you are already aware that birth control pills often decrease a women's libido and they can lose interest. We had this issue. If you and FW are not aware of this, there are other forum sites on TMB that discuss this.

Romantic Husband
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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby Romantic Husband » Thu May 21, 2015 10:10 am

Welcome to the forums!

I don't have much to add, other than to agree with what has already been stated: making love to your wife will take care of the wet dreams, and the bladder control concern likely won't be a problem. I'm glad to see that you two are apparently discussing your future sex life. Again, "Sheet Music" and this website are great resources for both of you.

Don't hesitate to ask if you have more questions.
Matthew 19:26 - With God all things are possible.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Re: What happens after sex?

Postby Stumoo » Mon Jun 01, 2015 8:08 am

Not the questions I expected given the thread title 'what happens after sex?'

Immediately after sex you just kind of lie in a heap, catch your breath and feel great. If it was particularly good you might look into each other's eyes and start giggling uncontrollably. Just thought I'd put that out there as something to look forward to :lol:

Your actual questions have been pretty well answered...

1) you'll almost certainly not have wet dreams if you're ejaculating with your new wife (note: not necessarily inside her; you should both be prepared for the fairly small but real possibility of not managing PIV for a few days and you should discuss what other sexual activity you could enjoy in the meantime). Like you I used to have them, maybe at a slightly lower frequency. Since marriage, NO MORE! Thankfully! I didn't really like them.

2) I'll assume you're young and healthy - this should be no problem at all. Just follow the advice that you should pee after sex and before sleep. If you're anything like me, you'll feel like you need to anyway.


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