First Time Sex: Initial Penetration and Breaking The Hymen?

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
Florida Guy
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First Time Sex: Initial Penetration and Breaking The Hymen?

Postby Florida Guy » Sun Jun 07, 2015 12:05 pm

I need a female perspective. My fiance and I will both be virgins on our wedding night. This is a question I want to raise with her but want to utilize this thread and your responses to begin the conversation. Since we are both virgins I think it will help tremendously having your feedback for us to jump start the conversation!

I know taking time for foreplay is very important and I am looking forward to taking things slow and sensual so we can really enjoy each other's bodies for the first time. My question is about the moment of initial penetration and the actual breaking of the hymen. From what I've read, she may feel pain during the initial penetration and I want to be sensitive to her needs so I can make it as comfortable for her as possible. I plan to communicate every step of the way and take my cues from her reactions. So here's my question: after we have fun enjoying sufficient foreplay together, should the initial penetration be slow or quick? The analogy I have in my head is a Band-Aid. My initial instinct is to go slow and let her communicate what she needs, but if I go slow, will it hurt her more (like a Band-Aid being slowly pulled off hurts more)? Or once the head of the penis is in, would one firm thrust be better (like ripping a Band-Aid off quickly minimizes the pain), then pausing to give us both a chance to relax before we slowly continue?

As I am typing this, I thought of a few other questions - where is the pain originating from? Is it the breaking of the hymen, or the stretching of the vaginal canal? Or both? This would probably be helpful to know as well. Also, I thought of a question that will need a man's perspective: the penis seems like a pretty durable organ, but will I feel any pain on my end as well?

Again, I want to be as loving to her as possible and give her what she needs to feel most comfortable. Like I said, I plan to show my fiance this thread as a way to jump start the conversation, so if you have any words you want to direct specifically to her, please share those too. And ladies, thank you in advance for your responses...they are much appreciated!!

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Leah
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Re: First Time Sex: Initial Penetration and Breaking The Hym

Postby Leah » Sun Jun 07, 2015 12:10 pm

Has your fiancee had her premarital GYN visit? If so, her doctor will be able to advise her on what to expect and how to prepare for the wedding night.
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Job29Man
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Re: First Time Sex: Initial Penetration and Breaking The Hym

Postby Job29Man » Sun Jun 07, 2015 6:40 pm

Welcome. There are other discussions about this already in this section. Have you read them?
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OldMarriedLady
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Re: First Time Sex: Initial Penetration and Breaking The Hym

Postby OldMarriedLady » Sun Jun 07, 2015 8:21 pm

"When you love them, they drive you crazy - because they know they can."
(From the 1987 movie "Moonstruck", written by John Patrick Shanley)

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Re: First Time Sex: Initial Penetration and Breaking The Hym

Postby Romantic Husband » Sun Jun 07, 2015 9:58 pm

Welcome, Florida Guy!

From a male perspective, I can tell you that we used lots of lubrication, and I didn't have any discomfort. I doubt that you will have any pain, either, but it's all individual, so no guarantees!

I'm glad you're taking the initiative to research this, and I think you've come to the right place. Old Married Lady has posted some excellent links, and I recommend you and your future DW check them out.

May God bless you both as you begin this great adventure.
Matthew 19:26 - With God all things are possible.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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First Time Sex: Initial Penetration and Breaking The Hymen?

Postby padsnd » Mon Jun 08, 2015 5:45 pm

As others have said, take it slow. Use lots of lube. My advice to grooms is if the sheets aren't soaked with oil before you start from both lube on and in her and on you, you're not using enough. Also, I will say as a guy that it is possible for it to be painful for you too. Lube helps both.

Also, keep in mind that sex isn't just PIV, and almost all the other combinations (except anal) avoid the pain potential on both sides.


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