We have exterminated three gophers in the last 24 hours. One claimed reproductive organs of great size, one claiming to be from a man "married" to a man, and the third claimed to be having an affair with someone here. The OG was able to conclusively determine each of these folks was lying about who they are or some other aspect of their claims. It is possible we have been marked for a gopher infestation - there are "contests" where a site is chosen and a group of gophers try to take up residence to see who can tear up the lawn for the longest before being caught.
Gophers are annoying, and can be very destructive. But gopher hunting can also be very destructive, especially if one becomes paranoid. When a few have been spotted, folks start to see a gopher behind every rock, and if they shoot anything that is the least suspicious, innocent folks can get hurt. Sometimes what looks like a gopher is not, and sometimes it's impossible to tell if it's gopher damage or legitimate. Accusing someone who is not a gopher of being one risks driving off someone who needs our help, while accusing a gopher of being a gopher just plays into what they want. So:
- Please don't openly post the common word for gophers.
- Please don't openly report suspected gopher sightings.
- Use the report button to let us know of your suspicion that we have gophers.
- Pray for the gophers - they certainly need our prayers.
- When in doubt, assume it's not a gopher. Christian love, good advice, and correction of sin are always good, even if they are aimed at a gopher who can't understand or receive what is offered.
With traps and poison in hand,