Please be vigilant!

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Dale
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Please be vigilant!

Postby Dale » Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:13 am

Last week, we had a longtime member of the boards who was found to have been deceiving us about his marital status. This member (glabrous) posed as a married person and was a regular contributor to the boards for almost six years. He finally slipped up when contacting another poster, and his message was reported to the OG. Turns out he was single, and in going back through his over 500 posts, it was noticed that at no time did he ever talk about his own marriage (which of course, he did not have). His account was immediately deactivated, and he has been told not to join the boards again.

But once again, this kind of incident underscores the need for all of us to be vigilant, especially when sharing personal details on the boards. As much as we (the OG and mods) try, there are those who may appear to be "upright" in their communications on the boards, but may have ulterior motives that no one can know unless the person "slips up" and reveals them in some way. So please help us keep the TMB boards a safe place (and the best place on the Net to discuss Christian marital intimacy and sexuality) and report to the Oversight Group or a moderator ANY concerns you may have regarding another poster, especially if that poster has sent you a Private Message that is inappropriate or makes you suspicious. Many times, things get resolved without a problem, but the old adage is very true in the Internet age: better safe than sorry. Also, be wary of sharing details through PMs (or in posts) with other members unless you are absolutely sure of the identity of the person on the other side of the computer screen!

The Oversight Group and Moderators are unpaid volunteers who give of their free time to help keep the boards safe for everyone. But, compared to the sheer number of members, the OG and Mods are a small contingent. So please help us by using the Report Post button if you see something that you feel violates a board rule (the reports are ALWAYS looked at and evaluated, although not all of them may require action), and if you are sent a PM that raises an eyebrow, please forward it to an OG member or a Mod.

Thank you for your continued help, and may the Lord bless your marriages and marriage beds greatly!!

Dale
On behalf of the Oversight Group and Moderators of TMB

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hopeful_again
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Re: Please be vigilant!

Postby hopeful_again » Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:21 am

The Oversight Group and Moderators are unpaid volunteers who give of their free time to help keep the boards safe for everyone. ...................................................................

Thank you for your continued help, and may the Lord bless your marriages and marriage beds greatly!!

Dale
On behalf of the Oversight Group and Moderators of TMB[/color]



THANK YOU for this place. Thank you for your time and efforts. I hope that we all pull together to keep this place to be a blessing that it has been to me..................

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Dgenerous
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Please be vigilant!

Postby Dgenerous » Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:48 am

Thanks for all you do! I'm always worried I report things TOO much, as I report anything that makes me suspicious. But you all do a great job making those calls.
I have found the one whom my soul loves.

lonely island

Please be vigilant!

Postby lonely island » Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:55 am

Wow! He had pm'd me and it felt "off" but I didn't report cause I'm a new poster, but I didn't feel confident posting after his messages so I just returned to my lurkdom. It's good to know I can report something without feeling I'm overreacting.

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TilWeHaveFaces
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Re: Please be vigilant!

Postby TilWeHaveFaces » Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:02 am

Thanks Dale! One of the things I really love about TMB is how self-policing we tend to be (see the many posts to newbies telling them to take down real pics of themselves as avatars) but sometimes things completely escape us, particularly if someone is bent on being deceptive. I never suspected, and even appreciated many of this member's posts.

Again, many thanks for the vigilance. Once again, the Gandalf image: "You shall not pass!" :mrgreen:

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Dale
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Re: Please be vigilant!

Postby Dale » Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:03 am

lonely island wrote:Wow! He had pm'd me and it felt "off" but I didn't report cause I'm a new poster, but I didn't feel confident posting after his messages so I just returned to my lurkdom. It's good to know I can report something without feeling I'm overreacting.


PLEASE do not feel like you are overreacting! If you really are, we will let you know ::jk :D

We strive very hard to make TMB a safe place. But in any discussion of sexual matters, there is an element of "danger." Sometimes the danger comes from outside -- and other times it is from within! Dealing with spammers from China is one thing, but dealing with "false brethren" is much more difficult. Sometimes we will do nothing more than "watch" a poster for further signs of trouble, and other times we take immediate action. But regardless, if we don't know something is going on we cannot help. Many times, a poster who has "smelled trouble" has alerted us to something which would have totally thrown the ministry for a loop!

Dale

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Leah
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Re: Please be vigilant!

Postby Leah » Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:06 pm

Thanks, Dale.

I would remind my fellow posters that nobody is required to receive PMs at all. This is one of the easiest options to disable from the User Control Panel. Moderators and administrators will still be able to contact you.

One can also block certain posters from the PM box. From the PM tab, look on the left for Rules, Folders, & Settings. Click it, and it will take you to a page to help create rules for your PM box. It's pretty self-explanatory.

It is very important to remember that the rules of internet safety extend to every aspect of the internet. When discussing intensely personal issues, it is more important to keep those boundaries in place. Moderators are there to serve as protection if the PM priviledge is abused. There is a mechanism on each PM to report a message.
Leah

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”--C.S. Lewis


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Ballad
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Re: Please be vigilant!

Postby Ballad » Tue Oct 16, 2012 12:46 pm

This was very sad to learn. Thanks for seeing the big picture and taking the hard steps, day by day.
And what is the future, happy one?
'A sea beneath a cloudless sun;
A mighty, glorious, dazzling sea
Stretching into infinity.’

--Emily Brontë

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mrpineapple
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Re: Please be vigilant!

Postby mrpineapple » Tue Oct 16, 2012 2:56 pm

Dale wrote:PLEASE do not feel like you are overreacting! If you really are, we will let you know ::jk :D

We strive very hard to make TMB a safe place. But in any discussion of sexual matters, there is an element of "danger." Sometimes the danger comes from outside -- and other times it is from within! Dealing with spammers from China is one thing, but dealing with "false brethren" is much more difficult. Sometimes we will do nothing more than "watch" a poster for further signs of trouble, and other times we take immediate action. But regardless, if we don't know something is going on we cannot help. Many times, a poster who has "smelled trouble" has alerted us to something which would have totally thrown the ministry for a loop!

Dale


Always a good rule: trust, but verify.
And that requires vigilance and effort, for which I want to take another occasion to thank you and the moderators.
This is such a neat place because of the openness, honest, and biblical grounding - none of which is compatible with lying and deception.


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