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Private Messages (Please Read)

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 9:44 am
by Dale
Recently, the Moderation Team has become aware of some users abusing the Private Message feature of our boards by soliciting inappropriate contact, sending links to pornographic images or videos, or engaging in other questionable conversations.

There are a few things every poster should remember about Private Messages:

1. NO message is really private, as the recipient can (and should) report messages that they feel are inappropriate morally, are "stalkerish", or in some way violate either the TMB Rules or just good conscience. If a message you send is reported, an appropriate action will be taken by a moderator (which may include the immediate termination of either your PM privileges or possibly your entire account).

2. There is really no way to know who is on the other end of the screen. In one case in particular, a poster had a total of 5 different accounts that were set up at different times, creating a false persona (complete with believable backstory) for each one. Although our moderators do a great job at ferreting out false accounts, we are not infallible, and people can and do take advantage of any hole they can find to spread their poison.

3. In this new era of society, Christians and Christianity are being increasingly targeted. We have all seen stories of Christian leaders and ministries taken down by those who have an agenda to see us silenced or forced into irrelevancy. No Christian or church or ministry is immune to this. Therefore, we must be more watchful than ever, and realize that our Enemy takes many forms and wishes to infiltrate any person or ministry that names the name of Jesus and stands for righteousness. We ALL are walking targets, and sexuality is one of the Enemy's surest topics by which he can trip Christians up. So please, be on your guard!!

Lastly, the moderators, Oversight Group, and myself as Board Czar stand ready to help or assist our members in whatever way we can. If you are being drawn into conversations via PM that are not Christ-like and you need help to strengthen your resolve to resist temptation, please contact one of us! And always remember that you can create a Foe list for your PMs. It does not block their PMs, but it does give you a heads-up that they are a Foe. Also, please report ANY Private Message that you feel necessary. The moderators have tools to help resolve situations, but we have to know they exist before we can help!

For the glory of God and the furthering of marriage,

TMB Board Czar
on behalf of the Oversight Group and Moderators

Re: Private Messages (Please Read)

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:13 am
by seeking perspective
Dale, your post makes me sad--but I appreciate the reminder that we all can present ourselves as we like and that there is no guarantee that a person is who s/he is presented to be.

Re: Private Messages (Please Read)

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:47 am
by Leah
To block PM's from particular senders, go to the Rules, Folders & Settings item on the left of the Inbox. You should be able to follow the prompts to create rules for your inbox. This will automatically delete the messages from a particular sender and you won't even see them come into your inbox.

Re: Private Messages (Please Read)

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:56 am
by seeking perspective
Thanks, Leah. I use folders but had forgotten that we could set rules. That would work if I have anyone whose PMs I am concerned about.

Re: Private Messages (Please Read)

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:59 am
by Leah
We still like to have those reports. They tell us if a pattern is developing.

Re: Private Messages (Please Read)

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 11:55 am
by George B.
thanks for addressing this. I've been contacted more than once by the same guy who usually poses as a wife here on the boards. He switches around identities and is very convincing, but keeps coming around to the same topic, which is the usual tip-off.

a good rule of thumb: if you're contacted by someone with only a few posts to their name, be very careful!

Updated Warning -- MOTOS

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:20 am
by Job29Man
This *bump* is to remind everyone here about the potential for danger in PMs.

Please use your head when PMing with a Member Of The Opposite Sex (MOTOS). If you PM with a MOTOS to get a little advice or information, I advise you to keep it to the point, and ask yourself this question.

"Is there any reason this communication needs to be private? Why can't it take place on the open forum?"

Here's my advice: If you PM with a MOTOS more than a few times, bring in a mature member, or a Moderator or OG as a cc for accountability. Men and women have no business seeking emotional support from each other on PMs here. Get your emotional support from an IRL friend, face to face, or get it from a member of the same sex on TMB if you must.

If you are currently PMing with a MOTOS, and it is frequent, and involves complaining about marriage, please stop PMing, now. Or cc a Mod or OG. If you "really need" the advice from a MOTOS, and everything is legitimate, there's no reason to keep it secret from accountability.