She Comes First

What marriage resources have been helpful or encouraging to you?
AkMike
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She Comes First

Postby AkMike » Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:47 pm

Has anyone read She Comes First? I've read lots of great comments about the book on Amazon, but some of the reviewers are rather unimpressed, and others express that it is more of a thesis paper than a how-to manual. I'd really hate being bored while being taught about sex!
Another one I've only found a bit of information about is How To Put the Oh! In Oral, by Susan Irwin. Kind of spendy ($37.00 for a downloadable e-book), but it is written from a woman's perspective, which I think is important.
Really, I just want the best resource I can lay my hands on to help me learn to pleasure my wife better orally. We have a great sex life, but I'm always wanting to go further than we had the previous time. We do pretty well, but it's all been through a lot of years of trial and error. Just looking for something that might help us along to new heights, so to speak, about a husband orally pleasuring his wife.
Thanks for any input.

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Re: She Comes First

Postby KyWildcat » Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:09 am

I've read She Comes First and thought the information was very good. Just the female biology is good information.
Marriage will show your immaturity and selfishness faster than anything on earth. You either grow up or grow apart. It's your choice.

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Re: She Comes First

Postby thisbejoe7 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:09 am

I've also read She Comes First, thought it was very thorough and helpful. But for me, I can't retain all the information so I feel like I'd have to leave the book open on the bed and follow it like an instruction manual. :-)
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Re: She Comes First

Postby OldMarriedLady » Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:24 pm

thisbejoe7 wrote:But for me, I can't retain all the information so I feel like I'd have to leave the book open on the bed and follow it like an instruction manual. :-)

:lol: That's exactly what I thought when I read it, and I OWN the parts being discussed! I joked that DH would have to write notes to himself on the back of his hands so he'd remember everything.
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Re: She Comes First

Postby MapleSyrup » Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:30 pm

OldMarriedLady wrote:
thisbejoe7 wrote:But for me, I can't retain all the information so I feel like I'd have to leave the book open on the bed and follow it like an instruction manual. :-)

:lol: That's exactly what I thought when I read it, and I OWN the parts being discussed! I joked that DH would have to write notes to himself on the back of his hands so he'd remember everything.


Forget that... I can think of more interesting places to write those notes! :mrgreen:
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Re: She Comes First

Postby Husband Lover Friend » Sat Nov 06, 2010 11:41 pm

I read "She Comes First" about 1 1/2 years ago. Yes, hard to remember all the info. Need to read it again soon. DW says that my technique did improve (but wasn't all that bad before). I plan to give my DS's (and any future SIL's) each a copy when they get married.

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Re: She Comes First

Postby slow learner » Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:03 am

Maybe it should be available as an audiobook, then husbands could have it on their ipod while they're down there ? :D

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Re: She Comes First

Postby thisbejoe7 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:37 am

slow learner wrote:Maybe it should be available as an audiobook, then husbands could have it on their ipod while they're down there ? :D


Thats actually how I read it, via audiobook. I like to utilize my commute time!
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She Comes First

Postby manaftergod » Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:58 pm

So I'm pretty surprised to see that there isn't already a dedicated thread on this book here.

"She Comes First" is a book that teaches men how to pleasure a woman with OS.

I recently got this and it has made a big difference in our MB.

Now I will say that my wife never had problems reaching O through PIV. I can probably count on one hand the times when she didn't.

But I wanted to learn to do more for her and make things more exciting for her because she sometimes has the tendancy to think of sex as being for me and not for her.

And in truth, I now have to admit that I had little idea of how her sex organs worked before reading this book. I mean, sure I knew she wanted clitoral stimulation. But I had no idea of the kind of reaction I could get from her by working on several different pleasure points in her clitoris at the same time.

From her reactions, I'd say her pleasure has been multiplied several times over. And it is very sexy to see her react this way!

We were also both surprised at how much she enjoyed the bit of AP that was suggested in the book as well. She has always been against the idea of AS and probably still is (I haven't asked) and I was hesitant to do the AP for that reason, but it was good.

Also, this book isn't written from a Christian perspective, so he sometimes talks about doing things to "your girlfriend". But other than that I don't think there was anything objectionable about the content. Some drawings of techniques and female organs.

So yeah, this book is a great resource for any husband who wants to learn to pleasure his wife.

Oh, here's the link for the book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-T ... omes+first

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Re: She Comes First

Postby OldMarriedLady » Mon Apr 28, 2014 4:06 pm

There may not be a thread specifically about the book, but it has been discussed extensively in various threads on the board (especially the threads in the Oral Sex forum). It's pretty much the first resource recommended when people are asking for advice on improving female OS.
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Re: She Comes First

Postby manaftergod » Mon Apr 28, 2014 4:09 pm

I've seen those mentions, and that's where I learned about the book. So I was surprised it didn't have it's own home here and wanted to correct that.

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Re: She Comes First

Postby KyWildcat » Tue Apr 29, 2014 12:03 pm

I'm certain the book did at one time have its own thread. As treads age they fall off of the boards. Sort of a self-pruning.
Marriage will show your immaturity and selfishness faster than anything on earth. You either grow up or grow apart. It's your choice.

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Re: She Comes First

Postby pseudoR » Thu May 01, 2014 8:44 pm

My wife typically finds OS too stimulating for her. Is this addressed in the book?

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Re: She Comes First

Postby manaftergod » Thu May 01, 2014 9:38 pm

He puts emphasis on using light touches/licks. Other than that, no.

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Re: She Comes First

Postby robin » Fri May 02, 2014 1:45 am

KyWildcat wrote:I'm certain the book did at one time have its own thread. As treads age they fall off of the boards. Sort of a self-pruning.


Yep, there was a pretty long one. I think it disappeared in the great 4th of July pruning that one year.

It's a great book. Heck I learned things I didn't know about body parts I OWN!
Biting is excellent! It's like kissing only there's a winner! - Idris

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Re: She Comes First

Postby manaftergod » Fri May 02, 2014 8:16 am

pseudoR wrote:My wife typically finds OS too stimulating for her. Is this addressed in the book?


Actually, now that I've thought about it some more...

It may be that you are going for the head too much and too soon. The idea is to work your wife up slowly, focusing more on the other pleasure zones and only lightly and briefly licking the head at first, and as she gets aroused more she should be able to tolerate more stimulation of the head.

So if that's what's happening, then yes, the book has some detailed routines on how to approach that.

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Re: She Comes First

Postby pseudoR » Fri May 02, 2014 10:48 am

Thanks yeah. I think its more of a mind set for her. When she's worked up she loves 69, but doesn't like being exposed and me just focusing on her.

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She comes first...

Postby dc9 » Fri May 29, 2015 3:02 pm

I read the book She comes first to get some ideas to improve my OS techniques. The OS routines described to get the woman to orgasm ranges from 15 to 30 minutes (or more). And the book also recommend that the woman is "amply aroused" before engaging in OS.

If DW is "amply aroused" before I start OS on her, she usually orgasms in 1-3 minutes, and if she's just a little aroused it often takes less than 10 minutes.

Am I "forcing" her to orgasm too soon?
Is it bad if she orgasms in a matter of minutes instead of "a long time"?
Should I change what I am doing to make her last longer?

Any ideas on how long time it "should" take to bring her to orgasm?


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Re: She comes first...

Postby Epaminondas » Fri May 29, 2015 3:39 pm

Why is it bad? Some people finish faster than others. My DW is generally more orgasmic than seems common but if we try to make it take longer she easily loses it and can't orgasm at all. We don't risk it.

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Re: She comes first...

Postby Leah » Fri May 29, 2015 4:21 pm

Ask your wife. She's the one who knows if she wants to go faster or slower.
Leah

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