TED talk recommendations?

What marriage resources have been helpful or encouraging to you?
Morticia
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TED talk recommendations?

Postby Morticia » Sun Apr 24, 2016 11:33 pm

Dh and I are working on improving our marriage, for lots of reasons. We're both fans of the TED talks. I know they have lots of talks about marriage, and I was wondering if anyone here had found ones that were helpful for their relationship?

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Job29Man
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TED, not as good as you'd think

Postby Job29Man » Mon Apr 25, 2016 4:30 am

I'm a TED talk fan too. I've listened to all the marriage and sex talks. Although, there's precious little about marriage per se. It's thoroughly secular and about "relationships" and "partners" as best I remember. IMHO there are much better talks done by Christians not on TED talks. One informative and entertaining one that'll leave you laughing is "Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor. The talks can be found on YouTube, but I think they're without permission, meaning you'd need to buy them on DVD from Gungor.

Every once in a while on TED there's a gem. There was a talk just in the past month or so that I heard on NPR TED Radio Hour, called "Solve For X." Part of it was interviewing a brilliant woman mathemetician who explained an algebraic formula some social scientists had come up with, to predict the probability of divorce with supposedly 90% accuracy.
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jokerman
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Re: TED talk recommendations?

Postby jokerman » Mon Apr 25, 2016 5:47 am

There's a TED talk about marriage and I have no idea how to track it down. The speaker is female, I believe with a PhD. She talks about how culture has changed considerably in the last 100 years or so, and how those changes impact marriage. Back when people lived in multi-generational housing and/or tight-knit villages, we could depend on more people for the supervision of children, emotional support, companionship, even financial assistance. Now that we have (in the West) clustered exclusively into nuclear families, we are now asking our spouse to provide everything that the "village" once offered; we want encouragement, accountability, friendship, and we also want romance. It's no wonder marriages feel strained.

She also made the point that romance thrives when it's new (pretty obvious when you look at people who are in the initial months and years of a relationship), whereas relationships are strongest when there is stability. So the dilemma of modern marriage is that we want it to be incredibly stable but also wildly romantic, and that's almost impossible to maintain. We want our spouses to both dazzle us and comfort us, depending on what we need at the time. She said that there's no easy "fix" for that dilemma, but it is helpful to be aware of the forces that are acting on us, both culturally and individually.

I wish I could remember her name. English was not her first language, if I recall.

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Re: TED talk recommendations?

Postby SquarePants » Mon Apr 25, 2016 6:56 am

The sex-starved marriage | Michele Weiner-Davis | TEDxCU

It's on YouTube

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Job29Man
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Re: TED talk recommendations?

Postby Job29Man » Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:01 am

jokerman wrote:I wish I could remember her name. English was not her first language, if I recall.


Perhaps you are thinking of Esther Perel? She's a French speaker from Belgium. Yeah, she's pretty good. Here's one of her several talk that has some good information for any audience.
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Re: RE: Re: TED talk recommendations?

Postby AngloCath » Mon Apr 25, 2016 6:33 pm

SquarePants wrote:The sex-starved marriage | Michele Weiner-Davis | TEDxCU

It's on YouTube

I second that, her talk got me into borrowing the book from the library. I'm working through her book right now, as this describes my marriage currently...

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TED talk recommendations?

Postby Redsman » Tue Apr 26, 2016 7:30 am

jokerman wrote:She also made the point that romance thrives when it's new (pretty obvious when you look at people who are in the initial months and years of a relationship), whereas relationships are strongest when there is stability. So the dilemma of modern marriage is that we want it to be incredibly stable but also wildly romantic, and that's almost impossible to maintain. We want our spouses to both dazzle us and comfort us, depending on what we need at the time. She said that there's no easy "fix" for that dilemma, but it is helpful to be aware of the forces that are acting on us, both culturally and individually.


Interesting. I had never thought of that. That sounds very similar to something that Mr. Oldbear said on another forum (paraphrase): "it's not about the O (wild romance?) but about the Ooohhh (stability)". I wonder at what point, if there is a transition, it occurs...meaning where "wild" romance is "taken over" by stability.

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TED talk recommendations?

Postby katiecrna » Sun May 01, 2016 12:58 pm

"The sex starved marriage". It's one of my favorites.


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