txtwindad wrote:I like that the article is trying to help women see that they ARE attracted to their husbands even if that desire might be a different in real life than a romance novel or chick flick.
This was the main point for me in sharing... to help a women understand themselves better, and maybe to help husband's understand their wives better.
Great. the women now know they are attracted to their husband. But if they do not show it, what is the point?
Potetsss, you stated about how you love and feel attracted to your husband and desire him when you take walks, or do things or talk together etc. that sexual "thing" is not a secondary at least sometimes issue.
The problem I see in that whole description was that it was all about how YOU felt desire for your husband and that is critically important for sure. But I think what myself and Job and a few other guys are trying to say is that is all INVISIBLE to the husband. He is still left feeling and wondering if he is wanted and desired. It remains a mystery to be solved. Some men solve it, while I fear most men do not and are left wandering and wondering if their wife really wants or desires them.
I agree that sexual action of words is the most effective and obvious signs to prove to him your desire. But you admiring your husband and recognizing you made a good choice in a man, from across the church silently in Your own mind while he gives encouragement to a fellow parishioner gives YOU the sense of attractiveness to your husband. But leaves him COMPLETELY In The dark and unaware. Still wondering if you want or desire him. (Maybe not in your specific case but as a general example)
Doing all those nice things together that make your heart fill with admiration and even attraction is like being a world class chef,more paring wonderful 5 course meals, the house is filled with wonderful smells. And you absolutely love to cook. But then a crew comes in soaks all the wonderful food away to the catered party, and the. the husband is left there with nothing but the vapors of what he came suspect was a succulent meal, but ends up with nothing to eat.
Again "eating" doesn't necessarily have to be sex itself. It sure can be and would be welcome. But something as simple as a raised eyebrow, or special look, or a word, or a wink or SOME sort of overt tangible thing that a husband can actually see or feel is required. Keeping the most wonderful and beautiful thoughts covertly and securely in your mind may be all you need to feel secure I'm your attraction for your husband. But your husbands are NOT mind readers. It is invisible and there is no way we can know your inner feelings unless you ACTUALLY share them with is in some tangible way.
Yes it is critically important for a wife to know she is indeed attracted to her husband. Because she sure will not be able to show it if she does t feel it herself. But once she does in fact know she wants and is attracted to her husband, she darn well better let HIM know it. This is NOT the time to keep secrets!
An example of how important edification and "approval" of thier wife can be seen in a couple of movies. One is the original "Rocky" and the other is "Miracle" about th 1980 is gold winning hockey team. In BOTH cases at the end when they are victorious by overcoming unbelievable odds, who does Rocky look for? who does the hockey coach look for? The crowds are going nuts in complete pandimonium, and in each case, while to world is going nuts the ONLY person they are looking for, want to see,made calling for even for a glimpse to catch eye contact is thier wife. Nothing else matters. Only what thier wife thinks of them matters.
Same is true in the deepest darkest times in war and chaos and complete nuttiness, thing that gives them peace is the picture of their wife. Which is always on or near them. In their helmet or stuck in the airplane instrument panel.
Just a certain glimpse of their wife's eyes is all that is needed for evidence or proof of the bond and her desire and want for him. Sex would be nice, but please do not convince yourself that sex is the only thing that can accomplish this for a man. Yes sex works, but a bunch of consistent small acts, along with bonding passionate and truly intimate sex at least occasionally so a husband can fairly easily connect those dots is what is needed I believe by many if not most men.
This may be hard to understand for many woman on this forum, because this whole post is probably speaking to the chior, as it is probable that many of the woman here already do what I mention. But many men are here in pain,nor have experienced what I describe above because their wives don't behave this way. Despite being told by their husband a thousand times. Somehow they still don't hear what they are saying and think "it's all about him wanting sex all the time".