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This section is to introduce yourself to our community and for others to welcome you. Please do not solicit advice here, rather, begin a thread in the appropriate section.
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:45 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): October 12th, 1996
Gender: Male

Newly joined

Postby crglee » Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:02 pm


I am still becoming accustomed to this forum - I only just now joined.

I am in ministry and have been for many years. I and my wife are both in our second marriage as our spouses before each decided to leave not wanting any involvement with any kind of church.

We view ministry, service and even a new missionary work with seemingly a unified focus at almost every turn. However, in our sexual intimacy, we are on different pages entirely. We have been asexual for several years now.

For me it has created many questions, anger, guilt and struggles with resentment. In neither of my marriages has sexuality been a desire of either of my spouses (previous or currently). I wonder why God gave me a sexual desire in the first place.

I have often found that being married to an asexual spouse is a hindrance to my prrayer life and personal spiritual growth. Celebacy is not easy when one lives with a person to whome they are attracted. I hope to find encouragement, recommnedations to books and articles.

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Under the stars
Posts: 5477
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:01 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 7th, 1983
Gender: Female

Re: Newly joined

Postby OldMarriedLady » Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:07 pm

Hello, and welcome to our forum. I would suggest that you click on the WHAT ARE YOU NOT SEEING?? link at the top of the forum page, where you will find instructions for joining Usergroups to view some of our "hidden" sections. We have a hidden section of the board called Sexually Refused. Join that Usergroup and take a look at some of the existing threads in that section. You are definitely not alone in having a sexless marriage.

You may want to join the Usergroup for Sexual Changes, Challenges & Difficulties as well; there is a subforum called Lack of Desire that has a lot of interesting and possibly helpful threads.
"When you love them, they drive you crazy - because they know they can."
(From the 1987 movie "Moonstruck", written by John Patrick Shanley)

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Under the stars
Posts: 5491
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:41 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 17th, 1994
Gender: Female

Re: Newly joined

Postby SeekingChange » Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:54 pm

I pray that you do find the hope and encouragement you need. Welcome.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, find comfort, survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years...then she did something new.

My Story

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Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 8416
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:52 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 2nd, 1980
Gender: Male
Location: Hobby Farm, USA

Re: Newly joined

Postby Job29Man » Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:36 am


Welcome. You said you've been asexual for years. But I think you mean that your wife has been sexually refusing you for years but you want to have sex. Is that correct?
Wanting to become like Job, as described in the Bible, the book of Job chapter 29. Hence the screen name.

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