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Sexually Bored in Canada

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:59 pm
by Renegade
Hello, friends.

I'm 51, and we've been married since '91. The marriage was a big mess that I won't get into now, but to make a long story short, we are very, very different in bed. We have only ever been able to have missionary-position sex, and my wife tends to feel dirty with anything beyond that. We don't have a sex life anymore, but I'll be getting some Viagra soon. My wife wants sex, as long as it's lovey dovey, which is a real turn off for me. I'm more into the kind where two people meet at work or something, and go into the janitor's closet for 20 minutes. I've never experienced that kind of sex, unfortunately. I wish I could have fun like a young high school kid.

I'm more European in my thinking about sex. My wife is Portuguese, and is deeply damaged by sexual abuse that surrounded her, though she was never abused. Her brothers' and father's perversion affected her, and it affects our sex life. I think the few parties she went to, before being saved at 18, haunt her. She drank a lot of vodka at one, and woke up with her bra in her purse. She has no idea what happened. We met when we were 25.

I view sex in marriage as ideally hedonistic, within biblical bounds, i.e., no third person is allowed. Maybe you have a better term to use. Contrary to the RC view, I believe in the 'primacy of pleasure' for couples, as opposed to the 'primacy of child-bearing.' The Genesis command and the issue of individual (marital) liberty are on different levels, and should not be conflated. Ed Wheat's book affirmed my inclinations to me.

Our kids are grown, and don't live at home anymore.

I always say too much at the start, and it goes badly from there, so I'll stop here. Ask me any question you like.

Re: Sexually Bored in Canada

Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2018 6:08 am
by poetess
Renegade, welcome!

Notice the border of "forum rules" in the header. To get advice on anything you are mentioning, you need to start a new thread in a different forum, but people will be willing to discuss things with you if you do that. In the meantime, welcome to the boards.

Re: Sexually Bored in Canada

Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2018 11:38 am
by Renegade
Thank you, Poetess. I'm glad to be here.

I wasn't asking for advice, just saying a few things about myself so you know where I'm coming from. I will use other threads when the time comes.


Re: Sexually Bored in Canada

Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:15 pm
by SeekingChange
Welcome! Glad you are here!