Sex Disgusts Me

Low or no sex drive?
chicocoke
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Date of your marriage (past or future): May 29th, 1993
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Re: Sex Disgusts Me

Postby chicocoke » Fri Mar 25, 2016 2:29 am

I've read most of the suggestions and questions...one that may already have been asked-- what kind of birth control are you using? I know early on in our marriage, the BCP my wife was taking gave her many of the same feelings you have towards sex. Her doctor switch up the BCP and the difference was amazing!

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datepalm
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Re: Sex Disgusts Me

Postby datepalm » Wed Apr 06, 2016 10:50 am

I have just skimmed this topic, so forgive me if I'm redundant. It sounds to me like you may have Sensory Processing issues. Are you bothered by leggings and tights that are TOO tight? Does elastic in sleeves, necklines, waistbands seem irritating? Do the tags inside shirts, dresses, etc., about drive you NUTS!? That may be Sensory Processing Disorder. My family member has it, and sometimes , having someone give her a hug about drIves her CRAZY!

Google it. You can probably find some things you can do on your own that could help.

Praying for you !
What if God's primary intent for your marriage isn't to make you happy...but to make you holy?
--Gary Thomas (Sacred Marriage)

NaiveHusband
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Re: Sex Disgusts Me

Postby NaiveHusband » Sun Apr 10, 2016 1:39 pm

I honestly don't mean to trivialize this, but I'd like to share a story in the hopes it may be helpful.

Not so very long ago, I hated coffee. Not just the taste, but its very existence. I really had an emotional repugnance to the stuff. The smell made me shiver. The slightest taste provoked a repelling response throughout my entire body. I would have been totally happy to never cross paths with coffee again.

But then I started researching health and fitness, and found small amounts of caffeine can be helpful. After looking for a source of caffeine other than coffee, I eventually came to the conclusion that coffee was in fact what I needed.

So, I started drinking a cup every morning.

At first it was horrible. I diluted it about 50 percent with milk, but I could still barely take the first swig each morning. I began gulping it down as quickly as possible, then downing whatever else I could to get rid of the awful taste.

After a week, I stopped shuddering after each swallow.

After two weeks, I stopped diluting it so much.

After about three weeks, I got up one morning and found I was actually looking forward to it.

And now, I actually drink coffee by choice, even seeking out new varieties, just because I like it.

I still can't stomach it black. I need at least a little cream and sugar. And I don't like dark roasts as much as light.

But I do "like coffee" now - for real.

It's probably obvious by now that my point, very simply, is that the mind, emotions, tastes, and preferences are flexible. There are times when extenuating circumstances may require professional help, but there are also times when we can bend our preferences to our will - we can truly cultivate a completely new taste that becomes a source of genuine pleasure.

So what about sex? Well, believe it or not, there was a time I felt much as you do about the "grossness" of sex. When I found out that made my wife feel like I thought *she* was gross, I dealt with it just like I learned to like coffee. I simply didn't clean up right afterwards for several times in a row. Soon I found it didn't bother me anymore. And although I still prefer to clean up after certain things, it's not a debilitating problem if I can't or don't.

Again, some situations really need professional help. But if, as you say, there's really "no reason" for these problems, then maybe you can choose to adjust your sexual taste, as it were. It takes some work, but can definitely be done.

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Voveo Uxor
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Re: Sex Disgusts Me

Postby Voveo Uxor » Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:42 am

It does sound like there may be some sensory processing issues--not liking to be touched, not liking the mess, etc. Do a little research about it and learn more. See if it applies to your situation. See if there are other kinds of touch that are acceptable, and practice those. If the mess is a problem, figure out ways to clean up from it immediately afterwards without leaving the bed.

Don't ever give your business to a doctor who says your problems are "all in your head." Change doctors immediately!

Most important of all, pray. You were attracted to this man for a reason. You married him for a reason. Focus on those reasons in your memory, and pray for him, and for you to recapture your original feelings for him. Pray for your marriage. Pray about your views of sex. Be open to the Holy Spirit's leading. Pray more. Pray.
Voveo Uxor
"[God is] a hedonist at heart. All those fasts and vigils and stakes and crosses are only a facade...He has filled His world full of pleasures."--C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters


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