losing desire during sex

Low or no sex drive?
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Learning1
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losing desire during sex

Postby Learning1 » Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:54 am

Recently during sex I had some random thought/image go through my mind and I completely lose arousal. It doesn't happen all the time, but occurrences seem to be increasing. It happened yesterday and I get so frustrated & angry with myself.

Any ideas on how to prevent this ?
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis

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SeekingChange
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Re: losing desire during sex

Postby SeekingChange » Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:08 am

I know what you are talking about :? Nothing is quite so frustrating to be climbing that mountain, you almost are at the summit, to get instantly transported back down the mountain to begin the trek again.

What helps with me, is to be very intentional on where my thoughts are focused. If I am not intentional, and I am just laying back and enjoying with not much intentional focus, other thoughts are more likely to pop in. It's not perfect, but it helps.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, find comfort, survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years...then she did something new.

My Story

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Learning1
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Re: losing desire during sex

Postby Learning1 » Sat Jun 25, 2016 6:56 am

Thanks for your response.

I wish there was some better & easier solution.

What I found during this last week, if I keep my eyes closed and focus on the sensations seems to work the best. I have to stay in a sexual frame of mind.

I do not understand why such random thoughts cause me to lose interest in the middle of sex. It seems like it shouldn't have to be this difficult ! :evil:
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” C.S. Lewis

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Vanna
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Re: losing desire during sex

Postby Vanna » Sat Jun 25, 2016 8:21 am

I find that if I'm having a distracted day, it helps if I do the driving- focus on him, pick dominant positions and activities, and talk about what I'm going to do to him. Basically, keeping my brain focused. Another thing I find helps is having music on, the white noise helps block out thoughts or outside distractions.
After 28 years and six kids, through the good and bad, by the grace of God, things keep getting better and better. ::wed


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