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Decreased desire. He does not initiate

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:28 pm
by Hssweethrts2
My 1st post: Been married for almost 25 years. Married my HSSH. He used to be the initiator, and for years, he would have to beg. I hate I ever said no as often as I did. BC now, the tables have turned and I want it, and he never wants it. He knows something is biologically is going on, he is 45 I am 43. We talked about it last night. I told him I want him back. He won't let me stroke him, touch him, nothing. Its been 7 months. M is my only release. But i dont want M. I want my DH. He knows there is a problem....now....how to do we get to the fixing..either T levels, change of meds, etc? He doesn't really want to engage in the conversation. Again, I miss my husband. It's not about the sex. It's about the intimacy.

Re: Decreased desire. He does not initiate

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 5:40 pm
by Hssweethrts2
To add: No porn and no increased M on his part. He's aware it's age/med combo.

Re: Decreased desire. He does not initiate

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 7:35 am
by Hoosier52
Defy Medical is the place to have him checked on his hormone levels and TRT. I've been with them for a year. They have 10,000 patients and can treat both men and women in all 50 states. MY wife is also a patient. If you tell him you want to get checked, it may motivate him to get checked, too.

TRT is about more than sex, it's also about eliminating brain fog, more energy, pushing away depression, increasing bone, heart and prostate health. There is no cost to call and talk to them. Very nice and professional people.

Re:Decreasd Desire. He does not initiate

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 2:41 pm
by Hssweethrts2
We talked today, while he was distracted on the computer. We have spoken face to face, but wanted to mention it again without nagging. He said he knew he had a low T problem. Had actually been given some sort of black tea capsules (?) last year from the acupuncturist. But has run out. Any idea where I can get these? He felt like they helped.
We actually laughed at how I am the one keeping up with the "sex calendar" like he used to early in our marriage. We also discussed him at least giving me a release like I used to give him. He is a GREAT husband and GREAT to me in TMB, but this role reversal is really, really getting to me.

Re: Decreased desire. He does not initiate

Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 9:11 am
by be64
What medications does he take? Certain medications are very hard on sex drive and performance. Does he have erectile dysfunction? Another thing that causes men to avoid sex.

If there is not a medication issue then I'd say that low T is a definite possibility, along with high estradiol. I don't believe there is anything over the counter that will boost testosterone significantly. Usually if you are low T then what you need is testosterone. I faced a similar situation in my mid forties. Now at 52 I want sex more than ever and it's better than ever as well.

The hardest part is finding a good doctor. You could try Defy Medical as suggested. I have never dealt with them. Otherwise ask around about good TRT doctors in your area. One place to start is to ask pharmacists who it is that prescribes a lot of testosterone. However I would suggest that the best method of testosterone is self injection. Creams and gels are messy and not always effective. A good place to get testosterone replacement information is at the following location.

http://www.allthingsmale.com/community/ ... lth-hrt.2/

Here is a good document to read.

http://www.allthingsmale.com/word_docs/TRT.doc