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How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Addiction, fantasy, habitual masturbation ...
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Elevation
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How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by Elevation »

Hey Beloved,

My daughter and I were joking around (like we commonly do) and she blurted out, "What's pornography?"  because she got confused with the word "polygyny."

I didn't know how to answer this question since I know that if I answer it, there may be a curiosity to search for it.

How can I Biblically handle this question without leaving her hanging?
MrMarried
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Re: How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by MrMarried »

My youngest is 8.  I would probably say it is pictures or movies of people naked or having sex, meant to arouse lust.

Moses read the Torah to the babies, little kids, up through old people.  He read to them about circumcision, menstruation, not committing adultery, not having homosexual sex, sex with animals, and all kinds of stuff that is in the Bible that modern Christians do not think are fit topics for children.   I think we mix Victorian ethics with morality sometimes.

I noticed in the Talmud, 9-year-old girls were considered to be old enough to know better than to engage in fornication.  There is so much temptation, we need to educate them young.  Someone could try to molest them when they are too little to know what sex is, and we should try to give them enough knowledge to help them protect themselves if we can.  I don't think we have to give too much detail, but it is a dangerous world we live in, and a lot of kids learn from other kids before parents get to it.

 
MrMarried
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Re: How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by MrMarried »

Btw, does your child use the Internet or go to school with kids using the Internet?  IMO, it makes sense to be clear about what porn is and to tell her to avoid it at that age.
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SeekingChange
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Re: How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by SeekingChange »

IIRC, the age of first exposure to porn has dropped down to 8yo. It's better she gets the truth from you and directions on how to handle it if she comes across it, rather than leave it up to chance. Covenant Eyes has a lot of good info on how to handle this with your children.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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GeorgeB
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Re: How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by GeorgeB »

she needs to hear it from you before she goes and does a search for it and sees things she can't unsee.
Elevation
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Re: How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by Elevation »

@SeekingChange I downloaded one of their guides...Thank you.
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Duchess
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Re: How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by Duchess »

We tried to parse out information at the age it seemed appropriate for her to learn about it, adjusted slightly early to account for the fact that kids are learning things (and need to know things) much earlier these days. Even so, by the time I talk to her about anything anymore, her ready response is, "I already know about that." And to me asking where, "At school." She even knew about a sex act that I myself had never heard of! She's 14.

MrMarried is absolutely right: we need to look to the Bible and not the Victorians or modern Christian Culture to decide when to teach our kids truth. It is a balancing act not to tell them too many details, but God will give us the words if we just start the conversation.
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SeekingChange
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Re: How Would You Answer Your Tween?

Post by SeekingChange »

@Elevation, did you end up talking more with your daughter? How did it go?
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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