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Why today's young men are terrified of sex.

Addiction, fantasy, habitual masturbation ...
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SLS
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Why today's young men are terrified of sex.

Post by SLS »

Found this article the other day. Really shows the impact porn and stereotypes about the male sex drive are having on boys and young men.


"This paralyzing fear of sexual inadequacy begins for many boys with online pornography."


"Mason has been watching porn since he was 14, and he claims it convinced him that a “hot woman” would just magically appear and offer herself up to him."


https://nypost.com/2020/01/11/why-todays-young-men-are-terrified-of-sex/

Happily married to Serafina for 6.75 years. She is my Venus. ::luv2
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newwifenewlife
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Re: Why today's young men are terrified of sex.

Post by newwifenewlife »

I'm sure that’s true and accentuated by the fact that many teens can only due “life by screen” and cant deal with human emotions. Interacting with a human in real life and deal with human emotions and hormones isn’t easy, let alone if you’ve been able to hide behind a screen and observed in porn that all you’ve got to do is show up and layback and/or “whip it out” and a woman will just act like your personal genie in a bottle sexually.

Then when you get into bed with a real woman it’s not the same or as easy to please someone EVERY SINGLE TIME, let alone serve someone else and be a generous lover...to speak nothing of developing intimacy and trust. 

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Re: Why today's young men are terrified of sex.

Post by Link+Zelda »

I think the impact of porn and where this discussion might have some indirect ties to this thread from November:

If men’s nudity were common in the media, what affect do you believe it would have on you as a man, or on the culture as a whole?

I've mulled that old thread over a long time and hope to comment on it soon.

As for the article you linked, it amazes me that "Julia" in that story raped "Dylan", who was too drunk for consent, and yet that's largely ignored in the story. If the genders were reversed, there'd be huge outrage!

As for our relationship, we were both terrified going in, never having so much as even kissed someone. Knowing both of us were virgins and had no clue kind of made it easier. I think I would have really struggled with a "well seasoned" partner at first. Might come back with more thoughts later.

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Re: Why today's young men are terrified of sex.

Post by DoveGrey »

Society as a whole doesn't know what to make of female on male abuse and/or rape. That story in the article is awful, and it's made so much worse because he's a guy. It's tough enough to publicize a rape. Adding in the male factor makes it nearly impossible. There's an expectation that a guy should be strong enough to prevent it. By that logic, only the weak become victims. So if you're a guy, there is so much working against you when you report.

I hear the frustration about this from male victims I encounter. It took my father 30 years to share his previous girlfriend's physical abuse, and he only told me because he knows I understand his situation. I'm not even sure my mom knows.
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Re: Why today's young men are terrified of sex.

Post by SeekingChange »

When I read it I had two thoughts, which one they said further down, "The solution for all this isn’t what most parents want to hear: They need to have a straightforward talk with their sons about sex." We, as parents, hold a great responsibility to educate and talk with our children.

Also, I can't help but feel that if people actually held to the standard that sex is for marriage, it would eliminate much of this. Not that there can't be anxiety, and we know porn has an impact, but there is something to be said of a committed relationship, where vows have been said, and you are in the journey of figuring things out together.
God can change what people do, behavioral patterns that have been in play for decades. He can change what we do to cope, to find comfort, to survive conflict, to count. Rahab had done a same old thing for years... and then she did something new.
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Re: Why today's young men are terrified of sex.

Post by sd595 »

Many young men are a wreck.  Society tells them to fear everything and many of them do.  Society and feminism has redefined male attributes as toxic and pushed them towards feminine behavior, starting in grade school and through the entire system.  There is an attack on men and it is taking its toll.  Instead of being strong and being on a plan to become Godly men, many of them are lazy, undisciplined, and don't know the way.  They are quite far from God's instruction to be strong and train my fingers for war.  They stay children who never grow up instead of being men.
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